Life — July 8, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE™: EXTRAORDINARY PRECAUTIONS, ERVOUS OLD LADY (on seventh floor of hotel): Do you know what precautions the proprietor of the hotel has taken against fire? Porter : Yis, mum ; he has the place inshoored for twice wot it’s worth.—Mew York Times. Owinc to. the strained relations between: the two countries, Canadian mammas who visit American beaches will not be per- mitted to fish in our matrimonial waters.—Lowel/ Citizen. “ CanaDa is bristling,” says an exchange. asks : “ Will Canada squeal ?” There seems to be some subtle connection here.—Burlington Free Press. Another exchange A LITTLE GIRL of three years, noticing the lightning for the first time, came rushing to her mamma, crying: “Oh, mamma, did you see the sun flying by ?”—Babyhood. BAGLeEY : Come, sir, I wish you would quit puffing that smoke in my face. Penstock : Does n’t hurt the smoke, my dear sir. “Tt hurts me, sir; I detest the smell of tobacco.” “« My dear sir, this is not tobacco ; it is a five-cent cigar.”— Tobacco. mt FENDERSON.>. Brown received a. long letter to-day, puffing up his new book at a great rate. Fogg: From whom did he re- ceive it? Fenderson: He said it came from. an anonymous admirer, but between you and me I do n't believe he knows ‘who wrote it.—Boston Transcript. Rossig, returning from school after a history lesson: ‘‘ Mam- ma, was Charles II. an Episcopalian ?” ** No, my son, why do you ask that ?” “« Well, the history says the did things he ought not to have done, and left undone things he ought to have done; and so I supposed he must be.” —Zx. CoLonEL BuLL WHEEL, the editor of a Pennsylvania news- paper, thus condoles with the infant King of Spain.: ‘* Our royal brother of Spain will have our sympathy the coming fly-time. He is bald-headed, like ourselves, and not so used to fighting the tormentors.”—Mew York Commercial. A KincstTon family moved from their house a month ago, and recently the little girl of the family and her mother went to call on the lady who occupied the house they had vacated. While there the child saw a very small baby that had arrived but a few days before. She looked at it carefully and then said: ‘‘ Mamma, we moved too soon ; we'd have got that baby if we had staid here.”—Kingston Freeman, A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING. ALITTLE Montgomery miss wanted some ice cream the other evening. She would n’t accept her mother’s refusal, and as a last resort she sent her to her father. The question was put to him,who answered ‘‘Not much.” She went back to her mother and told her that her papa said “she could have a little.”—ont- PHOSACID. Good for Nervousness. Excellent in Soda Water, or Mixed with Liquors. For Sale by Druggiste Generally. [ARTIN: KALBFLEISCH’S SONS, N. Y. CELEBRATED HATS AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago, 914.Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Edenia, “No, I must have LUNDBORG'S. never been disappointed in any of those perfumes.” LUNDBORC’S PERFUMES, Marechal Niel Rose, Lily of the Valley, LUNDBORQ’S RHENISH COLOGNE. gomery Standard. LADIES TAILOR, HABIT MAKER ahd HATTER, or Ig EAST 2IST STREET, NEW YORK. LONDON, ‘AND. BELLEVUE AVENUE, Newport, is pleased to announce that he has reopened his New- port branch for the season, where, by his personal su- pervision, it will be his #} highest aim to secure a continuance of lib- eral patronage, earned by produc~ ing the most per- fect fit and ele~ 1 have ay in design in is Specialty. Inspection is in- vited to a_line of choicest Fabrics, suitable for the seaside, mountain, Traveling and for Riding Habits. Alpine Violet, H.B. KIRK.& CO. 1158 Broadway, cor. 27th St. 69 Fulton Street, 9 Warren Street. Recognized as one of the Leading and Most Reliable WINE HOUSES IN AMERICA. ESTABLISHED 1853. A large variety of Grocer’s Condiments. The Otpest and Cuorcest PRIESTLEY’S NEW SILK WARP FABRICS Among the new materials especially commended is the Clairette, also shown with a border for veils, This soft, dainty fabric seems impervious to hardship, and while light in weight, is sulficiently black to be assumed even in deep mourning. Convent cloth will be much worn in the early spring. Gypsy Cloth is an etamine fine and ar ‘This Pansy is a soft twill, fine and beautiful, and will undoubtedly prove a favorite.—Delineator. tistic in draping, while firm in texture, WINES AND LIQUORS, Some of which we have owned ourselves THIRTY YEARS, AT MODERATE PRICES. Honest Madeira, $3.50 per gallon: good value. Sour Mash Whiskies, five Summers old, $4 per nm. No other house can furnish Old Crow RYE. NEW YORK: Wheat Baking Powder. SUPERIOR TO ALL IN WHOLESOMENESS. MARTIN KALBFLEISCH’S SONS, BROOKLYN, BUFFALO, comichool Kks.com