Life — July 1, 1886 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“OPMhile there's Life there's Hope.” VOL. VIII. JULY 1, 1886. NO. 183. 1155 Broapway, New York. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office. Vol. I., $1.50 per number; Vol. II., 25 cents per number; Vols, III., 1V., V. and VI. at regular rates. Rejected contributions will be destroyed unless accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope. GAIN our country’s natal day approaches. Our country is not in all respects what we could wish. Geronimo is not caught yet and Tariff is also at large. Parsons has come in, it is true; but what sloop will beat the Galatea is still an open question. The President has got a new wife, but not yet a new Attorney-General. Mr. Holman’s re- nomination is secure; but only one of the boodle Aldermen is in Sing Sing, and the flow of justice is somewhat impeded in its course. Much has been done but much remains to do, and it is not quite an adequate consolation that the session of Congress is fast nearing its close. It is proper to reflect that the common condition of life is one of unfinished business, and that our country is only like the rest of the world, in not being quite up to its work. * * * UT touch off the fire works, and let the rockets go up. We are better off than most of our neighbors and have cause abundant enough to congratulate ourselves. The comparative felicity of our condition appears especially from two circumstances. Our neighbor, Nova Scotia, shows unmistakable signs of a disposition to become one of us. If left to herself she would not only sell our fishermen all the bait they wanted, but she would probably say goodbye to the Queen’s government altogether, and set up for herself and Uncle Sam. Our properties as the great American loadstone begin to show themselves. Another indication of our welfare appears in our ability to help our neighbors who are less well off than we. Great Britain is almost in the throes of an election. America does not view her peril un- moved. Yankee gold has been prescribed for her, and it is going across the ocean in a steady stream to aid Mr. Glad- stone and Mr. Parnell in bringing the patient to a better state of feeling. While we can help our neighbors in this way we must be regarded as truly prosperous. * * * UT how can we help taking short and pleasant views of life and the national future at a time when so much hopeful oratory has been unbottled. The commencement season is at its height and the air is still metaphorically dark with the arrows the young idea has shot. Not even Mr. Matthew Arnold’s convictions of the imperfections of all existing systems of education can quell the hopeful joy with which we regard the new A. B.'s. Can the world equal them? We think not. In their hands the pen, the oar, the bat, the tennis racket, everything, indeed, except the cigarette, is matchless among junior amateurs. How much they have got to learn, poor young things! But they will learn’ it fast enough. It is a popular theory that the new Bachelors of Arts are of no use, but that is a vulgar error. They will know all that we know, presently, and a little more. * * * OMETHING happens every few days that makes the newspapers, and through them the public, aware of a new word. The world was told the other day that the “nearest agnate ” of Louis of Bavaria would reign as regent in his stead. Now we know what agnate means. The last acquisition to the popular vocabulary is “ablegate.” Two of them came on the Servéa to fetch an assignment of hats to the Cardinal Archbishop of Baltimore. Let no one suppose that ablegate is the Italian for hatter. LIFE has exclusive and reliable information to the contrary. The ablegates have nothing to do with the construction of head gear, but are only the Pope’s messengers, and fetch and carry for His Holiness on occasions of especial ceremony. The tiles they brought His Grace of Baltimore are two, a red skull cap, for every day use, and the beretta. The latter ornament the Cardinal wears about as often as Queen Victoria does her best crown. It will be put on him with imposing ceremonies on the 3oth of June, and when he dies it. will be hung up in the cathedral at Baltimore. As a general use, rain or shine hat, it is not much of a success, but it is the making of a Cardinal to have it. Berettas have hitherto been most popu- lar in Italy, where the climate is mild and it does one no harm to go bareheaded. * * * UR neighbor, the Suz, is engaged in a good work in trying to abolish the nasty cigarette pictures from the tobacco shop windows. In order to be consistent the Suz should make affidavit that it has destroyed its famous por- trait of Mr. Holman, and that that libel will never appear again. “First cast out the beam that is in thine own eye,” saith the Scripture. * * * T becomes daily more evident that the President, in divid- ing his cares, has doubled his Presidential prospects. That two people so unlike as Mr. Holman and Mrs. Cleve- land have entire confidence in him naturally increases the trust of the people. “ fara barri “ locke “] with ether in n The lifted as lo “] “you abou up th far o Ido1 muct low intell reser most corn- betwi empt and famo some ifIw corn- beaut advat splen of pe writir comicbooks.com