Life — June 24, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RETURNING FROM THE RACES. ASSENGER (to stranger with blue horseshoes on linen): I see that Home Rule has been hopelessly defeated. Stranger: Home Rule—Home Rule. know the hoss, sir, I don't A SHATTERED IDOL. E: I see that Adonis has been hissed in London. Did you not tell me you had seen the play at the Bijou forty times ? Anglomaniac : Er—um—less than twenty. A TEST OF STRENGTH. HYSICIAN (to convalescent) : You feel strong- er, do you not ? Convalescent: Ob, yes, doctor; very much stronger. I’m strong enough now for almost any- thing. Physician ; Then I will send in my bill. OUNG HOUSEKEEPER (to dealer): Have you a small hand bellows for blowing the fire? Dealer: Something like that, madam ? Young Housekeeper: Yes, that will do. If you will fill it with wind and put a cork in the end I'll take it with me. Mamma: Eddie: DAY, IS N'T IT, MAMMA? AND Now, EDDIE, CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT VELOCITY IS? THAT'S WHAT PAPA LET GO OF THE HOT PLATE WITH TO- dese, 'Z 2 _eo THE CHUM INTERVIEWS ALPHONSO XIII. T had been the Chum's intention to remain in Rome with Mr. and Mrs. Humbert II. for some weeks, but the birth of a King to Spain and a new Potentate to ‘the Chum's visiting list, necessitated his traveling post haste to Madrid. He was metat the frontier by Senor Sagasta and the Toreador Gen- eral, and by them escorted to the throne room of the palace. Everything was sumptuously fitted up in honor of the new King’s | | might have awakened the Greatness of Spain if, perchance, any still | slumbered in that unhappy land. arrival. The throne had been temporarily placed on rockers and the assembled court were bewildering the poor Potentatelet by such silly questions as : “+ Oose ittle kingy-wingy is oo?” And “+ Dozzer ittle Alphonso Pietro Carlsbad Wafer Don Carlos de Mar- tinez Cuba San Salvador XIII. wantee din-din ?” Etc,, ad nauseam, é ‘A hush of expectancy came over all as the Chum entered the royal presence. Alphonso had as yet done nothing but stare about him with a self-possession that was royal. It is true, he had absorbed the corners of a congratulatory address from the Cortes upon the event of his birth with his royal lips, and had gone so far as to trifle with the Prime Minister's oleaginous locks when that individual knelt to do him homage, but he had uttered no sound. It was not known how he would receive the Chum to Potentates, and Spain trembled lest an unguarded expression of dislike should | did not kneel. eee a da escape the Infant King and bring irretrievable ruin upon the land. A pretty enough picture the babe presented, The crown, one of his lamented father’s cut down, served to keep him from falling off the throne. He sat directly in the centre of the golden bauble and played peek-a-booh most nalvely with one of his pages from behind the central jewel. Slowly the Chum advanced, but, true to his Republican instincts, he He compromised and placed the King upon the genu- factious joint instead, and then he whispered : “Viva el Rey-let !” And the King, with royal disregard of his lack of teeth, first uttered a childish “ga-ga” of welcome and then set up a shriek of fear that “I guess the kid—I beg pardon, King—has n't caught on to who you are,” said Senor Sagasta. “No,” replied the Queen-regent, blushing, ‘* Phonsy does n't realize you yet, Mr, Smith," and then turning to the new arrival she said, “Sire, this is Smith !" At this the child turned pale and seemed confused, but he soon recov- ered himself by sucking the gold foil from one of the knobs of the throne. “Why did n't you say this was Smith ?” he asked, sternly.‘ Do you expect a man of my age to know everything by intuition 2” Turn- ing to the correspondent he added: ‘*Smith, I'm glad to welcome you to Spain. Here you, Sagasta, at least bring another bottle, Smith and I can't get along on one !” “Tam glad to see you looking so well, Phonsy,” said I. comicbooks.com