Life — June 24, 1886 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: WHAT KIND? HERE ‘S a great deal of bliss in a lingering kiss, And oceans of solid rapture ; There are lots of fun in a stolen one— . If you re clever about the capture. The cutest trick in a kiss that 's quick Is to put it where it belongs ; To see that it goes below the nose And knocks at the gate of songs. A kiss that is cold may do for the old, Or pass with a near relation ; But one like that is a work—that 's flat— Of supererogation. If you ‘re going to kiss, be sure of this— That the girl has got some heart in her ; 1 would n’t give a darn for the full of a barn Of kisses without a partner. The point of this rhyme is to take your time ; Kiss slowly, and do it neatly ; If you do the thing right, and are halfway bright, THE WRONG MORAL. You can win her sweet heart completely. David A. Curtis. S. S. Teacher: Svuprose MY WATCH MAD NO WoRKS, AND I —__—_—_——_ See eece cea, edtoetieas ae be ; ORDERS PORLARS SQUED. T is a very natural sequence that a man should take to his Pupil: 1 SHOULD HAVE LESS FOR THE OTHER FELLER! bier after having been ale-ing for months. THE CLASS IN BOTANY. LASS in botany please rise Q. Which is the most unpopular veg- etable after it is dead ? A. The beet. Q. Which is the most painful ? A. The b-onion. Professor—Shame on you, sir! Next. A. Corn. Q. Which is the most aristocratic ? A. The turnip. Professor—Explain yourself, sir ! A. Because the best part of it is under ground. TRIALS OF A LANDLORD, IRST TOURIST (to summer hotel landlord): Do you allow dogs in the house ? Landlord (emphatically) : No, sir. | First Tourist : Then I must go somewhere else. My wife has got a dog. Second Tourist (to same landlord): Do you allow dogs in the house? First old farmer (seeing the sights): SOME KIND OF A PATENT CHURN HE'S Landlord : Oh, yes, sir. A-SHOWIN’ UP, I RECKON. a 4 Second Tourist: Then I must go some- Second old farmer; CRACKY, HOW SHE DOES SQUEAK! I SAY, MISTER, YE BET- where else. My wife can’t bear dogs. | TER ILE HER UP: SHE'LL RUN SMOOTHER! comicbooks.com