Life — June 17, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A LESSON IN PRONUNCIATION, R, FEATHERLY,” said Bobby at the dinner table, ** how do you pronounce d-o? ‘*Do, Bobby,” replied Mr. Featherly, indulgently. “ How do you pronounce d-e-w ?"” “D-u-u-ew,"” and here Mr. Featherly put on a genteel air for the benefit of Bobby's big sister. “* Well, then, how would you pronounce the second day of the week?” ‘* Tewsday, I think. iM? ** You ‘re wrong.” “Wrong? How would you pronounce the second day of the week?” ““Monday."—Mew York Times, TAKING BIG CHANCES. COACH to college athlete: Your muscles seem soft and your whole system needs toning up. Are you drinking anything? College Athlete; Not a drop. Coach : Smoking to excess ? College Athlete: No. Coach ; Studying? College Athlete: Er—yes, a little. Coach (indignantly): Great heavens, man, do you want to lose the race ?—Mew York Sun. 349 ACQUAINTED WITH GRIEF. “ CaN you conceive,” asked the professor, *‘ an eternal vacuum, a portion of space unoccupied, an empty void into which nothing ever enters, from which nothing can ever come, which maintains inviolate and forever its own eternal emptiness?’ “1 can,” re- plied the student; ‘I have a stylographic pen.”—Philadelphia News, PRESSURE OF HARD TIMES. “*SHALL I vind the clock, fadder?” asked young Jacob Isaac- stein, as they were about to close the store. ‘* No,” said the old gentleman with a sigh, ‘‘pizness vas too pad. Choost let it alone, Jacob, und ve vill save the vear and tear on the veels."— New York Times. WHERE HE DREW THE LINE. “* ARE you a Christian, youn; missionary of a bystander woaes ful case. ‘Oh ! dear, no,” was the cheerful reply ; “I'm a choir singer.” —Chicago News, man?’ asked a melancholy ¢ thought might prove a hope- Tue colporteur had crossed over the line into Kentucky with- out knowing it, and as he entered the tavern with a handful of tracts he said: “*Gentlemen, may I ask you to——" and every gentleman then and there arose from his chair, took his quid from his mouth and cast it behind the stove, and sauntering briskly toward the carpenter shop, “Thanks, lon’ "t care if I do.” And then, seeing he was in Kentucky, the colporteur “ jined the gentlemen."—Brvoklyn Eagle. Recent American Novels. CHILDREN OF THE EARTH. By ANNE ROBERTSON MACFARLANE. r6mo, Leisure Hour Series, $1.00. Gust PUBLISHED.) WHOM GOD HATH JOINED. By Mxs. HOMER MARTIN. x6mo, Leisure Hour Series, $1.00, sersireite, by acroman oe an to describe as able, ‘of * Whom God the universe, but she ba acters very cleverly. The delineation of Kathart ‘and complete. The plot is coherent and lagenious."* AFTER HIS KIND. By JOHN COVENTRY, x6mo, Leisure Hour Series, $1.00. “ The: Adyilic, of the writing ts beyond praise ; on Tegel a as ene abana lish midland scenery is bet ove eos ot Goa any od fold charms of the book.”"—Lendon Saturday Review. OBLIVION. (Second Edition.) A Romance of the North Caro- lina Mountains. By M. G. McCusitann. x6mo, Leisure Hour Series, $1.00. i the great eerie of Cea bok baie ee ez or tender ag. tere cute encur i. me rentee e e as well as cyecsaTeone HENRY HOLT & CO. NEW YORK. PHOSACID. Good for Nervousness, Excellent in Soda Water, or Mixed with Liquors. For Sale b DF ists Generally. ART. KALBFLE(SCH'S SONS, N. Y. CELEBRATED HATS AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chit 914 Chestnut Street, Phila elphia. JEAAKAVER LADIES’ TAILOR, HABIT MAKER and HATTER, | 19 EAST 21ST STREET, NEW YORK, Newport and Londé Is now exhibiting the largest selection of Stafls fabrics, comprising the latest patterns from leading manufacturers in Europe—rmRSOMALLY St- LECTED FOR MY SPECIAL~ TY. Ladies who favor me with their patronage can be assured that my estab- lishment will, as bereto- fore, sustain its reputation for iaste, tyle and uneur- ‘workmansbij The Latest in Ridi Traveling and Yachting Hats. ‘ ‘A. perfect fit guaran- teed, and every garment STRICTLY TAILOR MADE. PRIESTLEY’S NEW SILK WARP FABRICS mong the new materials especially commended is the Clairette, also shown with a border Tig soft, dainty fabric seems impervious to hardahip, and while light in weight, is ia deep mourning. y Cloth is aa etamine foe y is a solt twill, fine and beautiful, and will undoubtedly prove a favorite.—Delincasor. Wheat Baking Powder. SUPERIOR TO ALL IN WHOLESOMENESS. MARTIN KALBFLEISCH’S SONS, Sis cee to be assumed eve! early spring. This Pansy gti NEW YORK, BROOKLYN, Convent cloth will be much worn in the artistic in draping, while firm in texture. BUFFALO, CHICAGO, comicbooks.com