Life — June 10, 1886 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“OPWife there's Life there's Hope.” JUNE to, 1886, VOL. VII. 1155 Broapway, New York. NO. 180, Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office. Vol. I., $1.50 per number; Vol. II., 25 cents per number ; Vols. III., IV., V. and VI. at regular rates. Rejected contributions will be destroyed unless accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope. IFE is glad of it. Lire has always approved of mar- riage in the abstract, and never means to lose a chance to laud it in the concrete. It is admirable on general principles, because another man has been taken in out of the cold world and provided for. And it is particularly felicitous because the individual is the President. If it is not good for a plain man to be alone, how much worse is it for a President! Ask Dan if it is n't. . . HAKE, Dan! You did it. He never could have compassed it without you. The newspaper correspondents would have worked him off half a dozen times on'widows and spinsters of assorted sizes and conditions, but for you. You stood by him like a man, Dan. You sat in the front office and did n’t know anything through those weary months of waiting. You had those little talks with him that cheered him so, and told him apt passages out of Shakespeare. They say you wrote his letters to her—LiFE. do n't believe it—but you did come to meet her—did n't you, Dan ?—and you went down the bay on a hazardous tug and brought her ashore, and saw that she had food and shelter and a policeman in plain clothes to stand at the door, and flowers, and opportunities for public worship, and those other little attentions that a lady appreciates. You did, Dan, did n't you? . . - ND then, Dan, you went back and got the old man and brought him on, and you also got measured for h's clothes, and bought the ring, and paid the clergyman and had him married. All this you did, and the nation loves you for it. Just one thing would have pleased your grateful country a hair’s breadth more, and that would have been to have had a church wedding in the biggest church in New York (St. Patrick’s Cathedral, say,) and a great reception in Washington afterwards. Then you would have had reason- able scope for your powers, Dan, and you would have been crusted over with glory four fingers deep, so you would. UT the main thing hasbeen accomplished. Grover Cleveland is a bachelor President no longer, but signs himself now “ man and wife.” What an excellent expedient for the gentleman himself, in the first place. He has flocked by himself a good many years, and has learned what cold comfort itis. How beneficent a scheme it is for him. How it will con- duce to his personal comfort, and increase his reputation, and paint a halo around his character, and frustrate the fell plots of Ward, M.D., Piscator, and the little circle of Dick Deadeyes who used to cluster around the office stove at the Tifft House in Buffalo. . * . ND for Miss Cleveland. Well, she need no longer be tied down to duties uncongenial perhaps to her tem- perament. The house where she has made herself admired and respected—we salute you, Madame—must always con- tinue to feel honored by her presence, but in future she will be free to grace it only at such times and for such periods as suit her. Miss Cleveland is to be congratulated. And so are the gentlemen of the press whose heads have grown hot so long turning from conjecture to hypothesis and from rumor back to conjecture. They understand now how Ofhello felt toward the end of the play; but only for an instant. Their occupation can only fail them for a moment. Break down one subtly woven web and, spider-like, they spin another out of their own insides. . . * VEN the accomplished editor of the Sus. What he would put into his concentrated daily journal after the whole subject of Miss Folsom was exhausted might have been a puzzling question to any one who was ignorant of his resources. We who know him better understand that while there are hens in Ohio, or mortuary verses in Philadelphia, or Holmans in the House, or anything anywhere, the Sus will never lack for shows supplementary to the main circus. But it is better for a change now and then, and its readers are to be congratulated. . . . ND the bride: Shall Lire congratulate her?. LIFE was recently impressed with the remark of a person who said that a man who did not marry a woman that wes too good for him was unfit to be married at all. We have no doubt that the new lady of the White House is too good for the President, or any one else, and our congratulations must be offered to her, not because her husband occupies the highest position in the people's gift, but because she has found it in her heart to make a man happy. She is to be felicitated on the treasures of womanhood it has been in her power to bestow. LIFE wishes her joy to the end of the chapter, and has but one short precept to offer her, which is : Keep square with Dan! comicbooks.com