Life — May 27, 1886 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

306 moved an appropriation of two hundred and fifty thousand dollars for a survey of the work to be done, Mr, Mxrrxsxn, of Illxnxxs, proposed to amend the motion by striking out the words “two hundred and fifty thousand dollars” and inserting ‘‘ not one — cent,” and in- sinuated that under the XXXVIIIth Rule of the House Mr. Bxlmxnt was a chump. At this point the following letter from the President was laid before the House : To the House of Representatives of the United States: In response to the resolution of the House of the rst inst., inquiring as to my matrinionial intentions, I desire that the subject be allowed - LIFE: | to fall into innocuous desuetude, It isa chestnut—a marron glacé, as Dan Lamont has the gall to suggest. The correspondence con- nected with the matter is private and unofficial, and I positively refuse to let Mr. Edmxnds see it, It has nothing whatever to do with the fact that I recommended the White House being enlarged, or my having purchased an $18.00 peachblow diamond ring the other day. GRxvxR CLXVXLXND, EXECUTIVE MANSION, WASHINGTON, May 2, 1886. The communication was ordered to be printed, and on motion of Mr. Rxndall the House adjourned. SPORT EDARHURST is a barren, brown waste by the gray sea; but Society, the great, has laid upon the place the mystic chrism of its holy hands, and he who does not henceforth call it beautiful must be content to walk with publicans and sinners. ‘Have you been down to Cedarhurst? No? Ob, dogo by all means. It is such a lovely spot.” That's the sott of thing one hears every day now from the women of the racing set. Cedarhurst is not a lovely spot. never was, In times gone by it answered Byron's description of the Troad, which he spoke of as a “fine field for conjecture and snipe shooting.” wae ss, EDARHURST is beautiful to women because steeplechases take place there. It isacurious fact that the female mind is not contemplative. Women are miserably unhappy if they have to live alone in the country. They do not feast upon the riches of their own souls. They never commune with themselves. They always want some one else to converse with, tal intellects never satisfy them, Neither do flat races. Women want excitement, especially women of the world, and they want it all the time, Flat races are not exciting enough for them. mild, But when they can see human life and limb risked in a steeple- chase they are happy. This sounds harsh and cynical, does it not? But take the women away from Cedarhurst, and how long would the place last ?- Take away the steeplechases, let everything be run on the flat, and see how long the women can be induced to go there ! * . * HEY ought all to have been happy last Saturday, in spite of the fact that Wellington could not do better than finish seventh in the great race of the day. and generally broken in a most thorough and sportsmanlike style. It was a great day for the fashionable turf, Of course the same thing might happen to Work, or Keene, or Hitchcock ; but then it would be such a beautiful death to die. * ° * HAT odd little bundle of bones and sinews known as L. E. Myers propelled itself the distance of one mile last Saturday evening Te | Books, nature and their own immor- j The fact is, | women are al] gamblers at heart. They want to take the chances on | something. Betting gloves and buying five-dollar pool tickets is too | An Englishman was thrown and crushed | id GEARS beat Petit at tennis the other day. Sears is a disappointing player to the spectator. He never does anything astonishingly brilliant. But the secret of his play is simple. Wherever the ball is hit, there Sears is sure to be. His close watchfulness of his adversary's style of play and keen observation of his stroke, cut and the direction in which the face of his racket is turned enable him to find the place where the ball is going and to be on hand to return it, Young players would do well to study this feature of the game and spend less time in trying to master fancy services and exhibition back-handed cuts. faster than another bundle, known as W. G. George, was able to do. | It was a great sight for the American eagle, and his screams of joy were heard far and near. It was fair and honest rejoicing, too, for | George has been the greatest amateur mile runner of his time, while | Myers never pretended to be good for that distance. But the slow | time is conclusive proof of one thing. George was not at his best. He must have been far from it to run a mile eleven seconds slower than his best time.” again at as long a distance, it would be a good thing to make some inquiries as to the condition of the two men before wagering any large amount. In his normal condition George is great at a mile arid can beat Myers. This is not Anglo-mania ; it is simple common sense. Therefore, if he and Myers should come together | UP WITH THE TIMES. First Artist: WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING? WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES? Second ditto: I'VE JUST SOLD MY PICTURE AT THE ACADEMY, AND THE PURCHASER INVITED ME TO CALL ON HER, SO I’M PUT- TING A CREASE IN MY TROUSERS, _ o