Life — April 22, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE AT SEMPRS AT MLL ‘THE SOUL OF HONOR. N_ American went to one of his friends who was in an hospital. “ Well, and how are you getting along?" he asked. “‘ Badly, old man, very badly. The doctor has just told me that if I turned over on my left side it would kill me im- mediately.” “* You surprise me.” “T's just as I have told you.” “It's all nonsense.” ‘* You do n't believe it “T'll take ‘* Well, then, look here,"’ and the sick man turned over and died. His friend deposited a $10 bill on the side of the bed and left."—Paris Gaulois, A GERMAN rushed into a drug store on Penn avenue yesterday and exclaimed ; ‘* Mein Gott, young man, I eat raw bork, and I dink dere vos dose machinery in it."—Pittsburg Chronicle. Telegraph. TuE New York Sun says : and a five,”” Unless the Sus plays poker with dice he had better never come west, where a concurrence of these hands in a single deal of poker is always the occasion of a double fugeral, the pot going toward paying the funeral expenses.—Omaha Herald. well, I will bet you $10 it is so.” “Four aces and a six beat four aces A YounG married lady who moved into the country from a city home considered keeping hens a pleasant and profitable duty. As she became more absorbed in the pursuit her enthu- siasm increased, and “hens” made a favorite subject of her thoughts and conversation. During one of her animated descri tions of success a friend inquired :\“' Are your hens good hens ?’ “Oh, yes,” she replied, in a delighted tone, ‘ they have n't nid a bad egg yet.”—Catskill Mail, T. B. ALpRIcH, editor of the Aéantic, is quoted as sayi referring to a well-filled graveyard near his residence: ‘I have excellent neighbors; they never send in any manuscript.” From which it is inferred that Mr. Aldrich has a poor opinion of per- sons who send in manuscript, and would rather write all the ine himself. He should be permitted to do so, We should prefer it that way. There is not so much weary dialect stuff in his writings.—Norristown Herald, Visrror (in penitentiary): What brought you to this place, my friend? « Convict : Sneezing. Visitor: Sneezing? Convict: Yis, sorr. It woke the Garemes up, an’ he nabbed me. Have ye got a bit of tobacky about ye, sorr? “Too much absorbed in his business,” was the comment of a per on the death of a brewer who was found drowned in of his own beer.—French joke. Jupce: “You attacked this Gentleman ; } you knocked him down and robbed him of his watc Prisoner: “ Your Honor is right. But if I had not taken the initiative who can tell but that he might have done the same thing to me ?"—ZJmilation joke in the Graphic. ai H. B. KIRK & CO. 1158 Broadway, cor. 27th St. 69 Fulton Street, g Warren Street. Recognized as one of the Leading and Most Reliable WINE HOUSES IN AMERICA, ESTABLISHED 1853. tas of Grocer’s Condi: The Ales veeY esa Custer WINES AND LIQUORS, Some of which we have owned ourselves THIRTY YEARS, AT MODERATE PRICES, Honest at Madeira, $3.50 per gallon: good value. Sour M lash Whiskies, five Summers old, $4 per Pues other house can furnish Old Crow RYE. ~ CROUCH & FITZGERALD MAKE THE MOST RELIABLE Trunks, Bags, &e., &e., SIXTH AVE. below ext St B'WAY, below Prince MORTLANDT ST. cor. D'vay NEW YORK. Cavanagh, Sanford &.Co., Merchant Tailors and Importers, 61 West 23d STREET, Opposite Fifth Ave. Hotel, NEW YORK. MAKERS OF THE So $ SHIRT PAJAMAS AND G UNDERWEAR. The Second Edition of Oblivion, Miss McClellanad’s Romance of the Mountains of North Carolina, ts now ready, \6mo. Leisure Hour Series $1. Henry Holt & Co., N.Y. KRAKAUER LADIES’ TAILOR, HABIT MAKER and HATTER, 19 EAST 21ST STREET, RW YorK, Newport and London, CELEBRATED HATS LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York, Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, garment | STRICT- LY TAILOR MADE. NEW ee FOR MOURNING, yet cool and light in weight, felt by all who have yatta jairette, Convent’ Gypsy, Princetta, ‘and Royal Serge. These come in different que pals Me Lundborg’s —— Te ; Lundborg’s Perfume, Marechal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. Lundborg's Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com