Life — March 25, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IAT SERS ALLS 667 RAN'MA,” said a boy of nine years, ‘how old ure you?” ‘* About sixty-six,” said the grandmother. ou'll die soon, won't you, gran’ma?” “** Yes, dear, I expect to.” ** And when I die, gran’ma, can I be buried 'side of you?” “* Yes, dear,” said she, as her heart warmed toward the little | one, whom she folded closer in her arms. “Gran'ma,” softly whispered the little rogue, ‘gimme 10 cents."—Clinton Bugle. A HusBAND who had incurred the anger of his wife, a terrible virago, seeks refuge under the bed. “Come out of that, you brigand, you rascal, you assassin !” screamed his gentle com- panion, out. Iam going to show you that I shall do as I please in my own house,"”—Z x, A younc lady from the West, who is visiting friends in Boston, made use of the word ‘‘ pants” in the presence of her aunt. “In Boston, Sarah, dear,” corrected her aunt, ‘‘ we never say ‘ pants,’”” ““T beg pardon,” said the Western young woman, with a blush of vexation, ‘I should have said ‘ pawnts.’"— The Sun. **No, madame,” he replied calmly, ‘tI won't come | A LITTLE boy whose sprained wrist has been relieved by bath- ing in whisky surprised bis mother by asking: ‘* Did papa ever sprain his throat when he was a boy ?’—Chicago Telegram, ‘*MapAM,” said a polite passenger in a crowded street car from his comfortable seat to a lady who was preserving her bal- ance with difficulty, “ permit me to——” “Oh, thank you, sir,” replied the lady, sweetly, as she pre- pared to sit down,” “ Er—as I was about to say—permit me—ah—to call your at- tention to that strap."— The Sun, TEACHER: ‘‘ Now, Klaus, if I say the father blessed his six children, is that active or passive?” ‘* That is active.’’ ‘* Cor- tect, and what is passive?’ ‘‘The father was blessed with six children."—German Humor. “A COMPROMISE. Mr. PupwortH: ‘* Well, my dear, I hope you will order an- other case of Burgundy to-morrow.” Mrs. Pudworth: ‘* You forget that Lent begins this week. ‘*So I did, to be sure; so I did, Well, make it claret,”— Philadelphia Press. A TEACHER in the public schools had promoted a little pupil, and meeting her a few days later, said : “ Well, Lizzie, how do you get on in your new class ?” “Ob, pretty well, I missed in arithmetic to-day, bat it was an awful hard question.” “+ Let me hear what the question was,” said the teacher. “Tt was, ‘How many chickens had the boy?” said little Lizzie, and the symopathizing teacher agreed that it was a puzzler. NEW BINDING FOR “LIFE: In Maroon and Gold, to be ready in a few Same prices.” $5 per vol. —San Franciscan; CELEBRATED HATS LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. LADIES TAILOR, HABIT MAKER and HATTER, 1g EAST 21ST STREET, KEW York, Newport and London, Is now exhibiting the largest se- lection of Stats and Fabrics, coma Cavanagh, Sanford & Co., Merchant Tatlors and Importers, 61 West 23d STREET, PRIESTLEY’S SILK WARP HENRIETTAS } Are easily distinguished by their softness and beauty and regularity of finish, They are made of the finest ‘ool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. silk and best Australian Opposite Fifth Ave. Hotel, NEW YORK. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose, MAKERS OF THE Se SHIRT PAJAMAS AND G $s UNDERWEAR. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valleys. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. . comicbooks.com