Life — March 18, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: PROFIT IN THE CHOIR. UFUS, wuz yer to de chu’ch dis mornin'?’ “ Dar’s jis’ whar I wuz, Clem.” “*T hope yo’ drawed in much profit from de sarbice, Rufus,” ‘What yo’ mean, sah? Jus’ yo’ take notis, Mr. Clem, dat w'en we plays keards in de quiah durin’ sarbice we jus’ plays fo" *musement, an’ nuffin’ mo’.""— Texas Siftings. Tue life of the British army in Egypt is now described as “all beer and skittles.” “Two years ago,” says the, Boston Transcript, ‘* it was all scare and battles." —£x, “Snow & Hucoins” is the name of ‘a Connecticut firm. These are not romantic names taken separately, but associated they awaken a very pleasant train of reflections.—Burlington Free Press, “cc Suz was young, she was green, she was very new in Washing- ton, Ata recent swell affair she had gone with the crowd into the refreshment room. Presently an elegant looking waiter, for all the world like a foreign ambassador, bowed politely before her and murmured : “Ts there any one waiting on you, Miss?” “ Sir? Sir?” she stammered in startled embarrassment. ‘* Pardonnez moi. Is there any one waiting on you?” “Oh?” she said, blushing brightly. ‘No, sir, not in Wash- ington. But when I’m at home I've got more beaus than any other girl in town.— Washington Critic, 167 Pat DonaN says that Montana asking to come into the Union is like a fellow trying to open a jack pot with two deuces.—£x. Some time in the misty future, when science shall have laid everything bare, when the Great First Cause shall have been tracked to its lair, when the Unknowable shall have merged itself in the Known—about that time the world will be making some progress in solving the problem why a°woman waiting for a street car walks toward it, while a man under like circumstances walks from it.— Buffalo Express. SOCIETY ITEMS. He was a new man in Washington and was the guest of a Congressman who hadn’t been a Congressman for more than a hundred years, They were dressing for a reception, “I say, Colonel,” inquired the guest, “ are gloves de rigueur?” ** Danged if I know,” replied the Congressman. ‘* Mine are kid.” —Chicage ‘Inter. Ocean, FICKLE MEMORY. A WEALTHY citizen of a neighboring city had been out until the small hours with convivial companions. It was not exactly a ‘dry locality” that he had visited, and he arrived home slightly exhilarated. He managed, by describing several erratic rather than geometrical lines, to get to his bedroom and into a chair. Then he called to his wife in a stage whisper: “«T can’t get my boots off.” “ What ’s the matter with your boots ?”” ‘*Nozzin’,” in a faint whisper. “What's the matter with your hands, then?” she cross-ex- amined, “* Nozzin’.” “Why do n't you pull your boots off, then?” ‘© Maria, I've forgot the combination !""— Boston Record. NEW BINDING FOR *“LIFE>- In Maroon and Gold, to be ready in a few days. Same prices. $5 per vol. IKAAKAVER COPVRIGKTED, CELEBRATED HATS |x zsh LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. | 3 a and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., | ing *¢ New York. Palmer House, Chicago. 9r4 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. LADIES’ TAILOR, HABIT. MAKER and HATTER, 19 EAST 21ST. STREET, NEW YorK, Newport and London, Is now exhibiting the we ieser abate baer foes Reding manutacturtrs te Europe eral reputation taste, style and sed work- The Lat: ling. Trav- Fachting . ‘A perfect St guaran- are teed, and every gar. meat STRICTLY TATLOR MADE. Cavanagh, Sanford & Co., Merchant Tailors and Importers, 61 West 23d STREET, PRIESTLEY’S SILK WARP HENRIETTAS Are easily distinguished by their softness and beauty and regularity of ‘finish. They are ads of the finest sitk and best Australian Wool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. Opposite Fifth Ave. Hotel, NEW YORK. MAKERS OF THE SHIRT PAJAMAS AND CGS UNDERWEAR. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valles. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne, comicbooks.com