Life — March 11, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: Sega = AT SEISSRS AT NLL ‘A BUTLER, PENN., man sent twenty-five cents to learn how to make $50 a week at home working cn a capital of $1, and received the following printed slip: ‘* Fish for fools, as I do."—Portland Transcript. “Dan,” -said the President, earnestly, you must be more careful when)selecting wine hereafter.” “Which wine do you mean?” inquired Dan, seven kinds in the cellar.” “The claret. I heard Evarts tell his neighbor that the claret was very old. Get it fresh, Dan, no matter what it costs.”— New York Sun, “There are IT DEPENDED ON CIRCUMSTANCES. “« Witness, I believe you said you were a saloon keeper ?” “Yes, sir.” “Do you know the prisoner at the bar?” ** Well, that depends. When he has the money about ‘im I do, but when he wants it put on the slate I don’t."—Chicago News, Pivot Rocers, of the wrecked steamer Cambridge, says: ‘1 knew when we struck just where we were!” This reminds one of the Irish pilot who boasted that he knew every rock on the coast, and the ship just then striking one, added, *‘and that’s one of ‘em."—Portland Transcript. 153 OLtie, who has been a naughty boy, has just finished his usual evening prayer, when mamma says: “‘Are you not going to ask God to forgive you?” **Oh, yes, I s’pose so, Please, God, forgive me for being a bad boy, and forgive my mamma, too, for being very wicked (a long breath while he tries'to bring some evidence of his assertion— then an inspiration), for she killed a fly, Lord, that you made !"— Boston Record. A “CRY OF THE HEART.” SEYERAL little boys, who always play together, went off one afternoon lately, leaving one of their number behind. His eldest sister, seeing him at home, asked : “Why, where are the others?” “* Gone off !’” **Gone where ?” “ Well, for what they call ‘ fun,’ but mother calls ‘ mischief.’ “ But,” persisted the sister, ‘* why did n’t you go, too?” “Oh, mother trusts me so dreadfully I can't ever have any fun !"—Boston Record, ELmira TEACHER: Who discovered America, OHNNIE ; Christopher Columbus. ‘bat is right. Now, how did he come todo it? He come by water.—E/mira Gazette, A ‘THREE-YEAR-OLD " discovered the neighbor’s hens in her yard scratching. In a most indignant tone she reported to her mother that Mrs, Smith’s hens were *‘ wiping their feet on our grass."— Troy Telegram. Tue New York 7imes has an article on “ Our Brother, the Ape.” Really, this war between the editors of the 7imes and the Evening Post is waxing too personal.— Buffalo Express. HENRY HOLT & CO., 29 Wast 230 Staget, New Yorx, Have Just Published THE HISTORY OF NEW BINDING FOR “LIFE: In Maroon and Gold, to be ready in a few days, Same prices. $5 per vol. KRAKAUER LADIES’ TAILOk, A WEEK, A NEW ROMANTIC NOVEL BY L. B. WALFORD, ILLUSTRATED. Lersure Hour and Leisure Moment Series, $1 of asc. “The story of this book passes In and around a lovely old castle on the Scotch Coust, in av single bleak November week, “Though of the preseat day. the tale ly very 10" man Earlier Novels by the Same Author. Leisure Hour and Leisure Moment Series: The Baby's Grandmother, $1 or 30 cts.; Dick Netherby, $t; Troublesome’ Daughters, $1 or 15 cts.: Cousins, $1 or 35 ct; Pauline, §:; Mr. Smith, $1 of 25 cts. RECENTLY PUBLISHED In the Leisure Hour Series, $1 each: Arar His Kino by John Coventry." Osiivion by M. A. McClelland. A Carpinat Siw by Hugh Conway. “Leisure Moment Series, 30 cts. sm JJestap X Co. COpVRIGKTED. CELEBRATED HATS AND. Sie » can be assured that my LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d. Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago. 94 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. HABIT MAKER and HATTER, 19 EAST 21ST STREET, NEW YoRK, Newport and London, Is now exhibiting the largest selection of Stuffs and Fabn comprising the latest {rom leading manufacturers in Europe — rexsowaty } SELECIRD FOR MY SPEC- 1ALTY. Ladies who favor me with their patronage, establishment will, as heretofore, sustain’ its Teputation’ for ase; style and unsur workmanship, The Latast in Riding, Trav- cling and Yachting Hats, A perfect fit guaran- teed, and every garment STRICTLY TAILOR MADE. ALFRED T. CARROLL Tailor PRIESTLEY'S SILK WARP HENRIETTAS | Are easily distinguished by their softness and beauty and regularity of finish, They are made of the Wool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. finest silk and best Australian and Importer 166 SIXTH AVE., TWO BLOCKS BELOW FOURTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. Correct Styles, Exclusively the Finest. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valles. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. _ comicbooks.com