Life — February 18, 1886 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*“LCPFE- DEFIANCE TO CUPID. DEFY him who destroys All their peace who trust his joys. I'm a man, my heart is free, Let him twang his bow at me, I'll not tremble at the noise. ‘T is in vain that he employs Lovely maidens as decoys ; I’m not Beauty's devotee ; I defy him. Timid ones may dread the poise Of his mimic, war-like toys, But I'll never bend my knee To a traitor such as he, This blind god of little boys ; I defy him. Dudley C. Hasbrouch. R. JAMES'S narrative, “The Bostonians,” is finished in the February Century. A man in Boston who can show affidavits that he has read it through has received over five hundred applications for his services from dime museums. But he has refused them all, and will take the field as a lec- turer. He has a fortune awaiting him. The American public who got as far as the third chapter wants to know what it was all about. ST. VALENTINE'’S DAY. Disconsolate Lover (who has just leaped the fence): DEAR ME, THERE HE SITS WITHOUT A SION OF MOVING. WHAT AM I TO bo? HE'S TORN MY PANTS COMPLETELY OFF AND I'M FAIRLY FREEZING. IF] ONLY HAD MY UMBRELLA AND A PAPER OF PINS, THE PRESIDENT’S CRADLE. HE discovery of the cradle in which President Cleveland squal- led away his infancy, has ex- cited not only the interest of » the politicians, but archzolo- gists generally. - That the President had founded his physical being on a Rock was £ strongly suspected by his friends and foes alike, but certain phases of his character have lead all to believe that he was rocked in the cradle of the Deep, and not in a two by three pine plank bedstead on wheels. The discovery that a man in his position began life in a simple, Jeffersonian home- made horse trough on rockers is highly pleasing to the true American, and goes to show the babies of this land that it is possible for aman to nse from the deepest depths of a bass-wood baby jumper to the highest niche in the nation’s gallery of office, the incarnation of which is the Mahogany stool known as the Presidential Chair. It is to be hoped that in recognition of the example to be drawn from this homely bundle of planks that Congress will pay the ten or twelve thousand dollars which the discoverer of this interesting relic will probably demand for it. There are already in the possession of the Government the trousers that George Washington wore on Inauguration Day; the coat and vest which the simple Jefferson wore the day he ran | into the backwoods at Monticello to get away from the ruth- less invader; and the patch with which, it is understood, Benjamin Franklin adorned the seat of his trousers while rep- resenting the United States at the Court of the ill-fated Louis. The lessons to be drawn from these three possessions of our patent office are invaluable. The first will inspire every boy of the land with a love of truth, which if it does not permit him to wear trousers upon the day of his inauguration as President, will nevertheless keep him in a position to wear them on all other days of his life, an average which it does not fall to the lot of every man to strike. The second is a shining illustration to the hardy Democrat who clamors for more simplicity that it is not really neces- sary for the Jeffersonian simpleton to run around in his shirt sleeves, making a fool of himself at the “rate of forty miles an hour,” to quote the words of an illustrious ex-candidate. And the third, the historic patch of Franklin’s pants, this is a beacon of light to the poor lads of our land, point- ing out the straight road to eternal glory as well as convey- ing to our minds the true reason for our never seeing.a wood cut of Franklin in which the old gentleman has n't a long- tailed coat on his back. So by all means let our legislators buy up this relic of the comicbooks.com