Life — February 4, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

'TIS HERE. REPARING for the trade of Spring The merchants ‘bout do rush, And shoppers curse that awful thing Denominated slush. It's omnipresent—everywhere— Around in every street, A treacherous, destructive snare To the unwary feet. The shoppers all at once declare They really never saw, At any time nor anywhere, An awf'ler horrid thaw. And gambling men do offer odds That when streets flow and ebb, And mud doth concentrate in wads, We've reached the month of FEB. . . . N exchange announces that Knoxville, Tennessee, is built over a cave and occasionally the bottom of a street drops out. From a scientific standpoint this is an interesting fact, and one which would have consternated Sir Isaac Newton. The natural course would be, we should think, for the bottom of the street to drop in. . * . A TELEGRAPHIC RUMOR. RS. EVERETT, of Fremont, Ohio, hid her diamonds, worth $2,000, in an ash-barrel, and afterwards sold the ashes for five cents a pound.—Assoctated Press Dis- patch, LATER. Rutherford B. Hayes, of Fremont, Ohio, has made a bid of seven cents a pound for every ash heap in Ohio.—£x. . . * A impecunious ex-President, who desires to be name- less, has bought, with the idea of enriching posterity, a large invoice of pen-holders to leave to his descendants. He expects them to sell for ten or fifteen dollars in the course ofa hundred years if the fool-killer is not a little more enter- prising. + * . HE intelligent youth who wrote the 7%mes' criticism on Mr. Stevenson's last book should be retired on full pay. One of the strongest and most thrilling points in an already strong and thrilling tale brings a smile to the critic’s lips, and on the strength of this the situation is condemned. Mr. Poe should have had this gentleman's risibility for use in his “Imp of the Perverse.” GoME of our readers having expressed a desire to gaze upon the facial lineaments of the celebrated Dr. Pasteur, we have compiled the accompanying gallery at con- siderable expense for their gratification. It represents to the full the glorious possibilities of American journalism, which in taking such gigantic strides toward the goal of success, trampling down without apparent effort all such details as impossibilities, has shown the effete editors of Eastern nations that American enterprise is bound in the long run to leave them hopelessly in the rear. The first portrait is from our E.C., the Laramie Lung- Tester, a humorous periodical which languished in the throes of unsuccess until it joined the Associated Pictorial Press. Its portrait of Dr. Pasteur is placed first because it shows the eminent Inoculist in one of his genial moments—moments when the disposition waxes mellow and when an introduction is apt to be most welcomed. The second, from the Elite News of the Hub, shows the Doctor more in hours of complete mental repose. In number three, the Stadts Wetsse Brode of Weehawken gives us an instantancous photograph of the great scientist taken at the moment when Inoculism ceased to him to be occult. The last shoWs the Doctor in his moments of scientific meditation, the time when he is resolving the formulz of his science, and as it is, after all, as a benefactor to science that he is best known and loved, we venture to reproduce the philanthropic features which thus first saw light in the ~ sprightly columns of the Bloomingdale Bee. f. K. Bangs. comicbooks.com