Life — January 28, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE ANTICIPATION VERSUS REALIZATION. XPECTANT HEIR (before the will is read): Uncle's death was a sad and untimely one. To think that but a short time ago that noble old man trod the earth in perfect health ; to-day his voice is forever hushed in the song of eternity ! Ah, me! Expectant Heir (after the will is read): That will can be broken on the ground of insanity, The old fossil was crazy for twenty years.—Mew York Sun, NOT ASHAMED OF HIS ART, EnterinG the asylum for inebriates, he asked : * Do you treat drunkards here ?” “Yes, sir.” “Well, I'm one, Where's yer bar ?”—Chicago News. A YOUNG society belle from Manhattan, who was making a + visit in Boston not long ago, sat next a Harvard student atadin- ner party. In the course of the conversation she said to him: “Oh! I read a great deal. At present I am Feeding Kant.” “Oh! Are you? It's by the author of ‘Don't,’ I suppose.” —Chicago Times. * I musv have order in this court-room,” sternly commanded a justice of the peace, ‘I must and will have less noise and con- fusion here. I have already disposed of three important cases without being able to hear one word of the evidence,”—£x, 69 “ Do you allow drunken people on the train ?” asked a clergy- man, at the City Hall elevated station in New York. “Sometimes, but not when they are too drunk,” replied the - brakeman. ‘‘ Just take a seat near the middle of the car and keep quiet, and you'll be all right."—Zx. THE DESIGN. Mrs. QUICKENALTH'S husband had given her a fine dress of a new material and new design, and she had it on at a swell reception, “ That's a magnificent dress your wife wears,” friend, «Well yes, I thought so,” he responded pridefully, “ New design, too.” ** Yes, the latest.” ‘What is the figure on it?” continued the friend, putting on his eye-glasses for better examination. * Twelve hundred dollars,” replied the pleased husband, and the conversation stopped.—AMerchant Traveller, remarked a TEACHER: What are the names of the several days of the week? Boy: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Sat- urday. Teacher: That's only six days. You have missed one, When does your mother go to church ? Boy : When pa buys her a new hat.—Arkansas Traveller, SMALL Boy (pointing to a picture of the herald angels): Is them angels, ma? Mother: Yes, my child. ‘Small Ml Boy : How do they get their night-shirts on over their Cavanagh, Sanford & Co., Merchant Tailors NEW BINDING FOR ‘LIFE: In Maroon and Gold, to be ready in a few days. Same prices. $5 per vol. IKRAKAVER and Importers, 16 West 23d STREET, Opposite Fifth Ave. Hotel, NEW YORK. MAKERS OF THE SHIRT PAJAMAS AND iC) 2§ UNDERWEAR, Common SENSE BINDER FOR BINDING “LIFE: Cheap, Strong and Durable, Will hold o6 numbers. Mailed fa ano bert of the United States for Address office of LIFE.” 1153 Beonpway. N.Y. Desians Co CELEBRATED HATS LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, LADIES’ TAILOR, HABIT MAKER AND 4 HATTER, 19 EAST ast ST., yew yore. London & Newport. Win, as last year, a order te keep Rist force of shihed bands filly» caployed MAKE ESPECIALLY LOW PRICES From date to Feb- Nuary 1sth wext- N.B. All garments Bade “at “reduced ALFRED T. CARROLL Tailor and Importer PRIESTLEY’S SILK WARP HENRIETTAS Are easily distinguished by their softness and beauty and regularity of finish. They are made of. the finest silk and best Australian Wool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. 166 SIXTH AVE., TWO BLOCKS BELOW FOURTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. Correct Styles, Exclusively the Finest. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com