Life — January 7, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RHYME A LA NOW. LEFT AGAIN. } OW the calculating mortal with his fingers on his pen, Doth balance up his Christmas books, secluded in his den, And he tears his hair with sorrow when it dawns upon his mind, That in spite of all his efforts he 's a dollar ten behind. . . . HE emblematic flower of the Hindoos is the Marigold. It don’t need much of an Hindoosment to many peo- ple to Marry gold.—ZL-nd-n P-nch. . . . E learn from London 7rwth that the Prince of Wales has appointed Lord Gosford as his Lord in Waiting. We're sorry for Wales. Her Royal Queenishness holds on so long that the poor Prince has tired himself out in waiting, and has had to ap- point some one else to do it for him! Here's a state of things, indeed. * * . THIRTY-TWO DEGREES, The way to school the small boy hateth, On learning, turns his back, and skateth. . . * N imbroglio between Great Britain and Hoboken is im- minent. Seven London Generals will conduct the campaign, and if Hoboken is subdued it will add largely to the prestige of the present Cabinet. . . . ES, Josephus, there is such an expression as “ Vain as a Peacock,” but it would be more proper to say Vane as a weather-cock, for reasons that are apparent. . . . A POPULAR magazine will shortly open its columns to a discussion as to whether Boston is losing its pugil- istic prestige. A ‘ old plank bench has been found in Stratford with the words, “ W. Shakespeare” cut in. Shakespearian scholars are much excited over it, and Dr. Furnival is dis- posed to believe that while the immortal bard did not carve it there himself, it is an evidence of Shakespeare's popularity in the 19th century, * . . * . RS. SPRIGGINS having taken the Weekly and Monthly Magazine for a number of years now desires a change, and has requested her son to subscribe for Harper's Ferry for six months. CORRESPONDENT asks why the Senate is spoken of as that “ august body?” We give it up, unless it be because the Senate gets pretty hot at times. . . . HE Members of Congress are hereby notified that the citizens of Dakota Territory have on hand a limited supply of ready-made States, to be had on application. * * * PICTORIAL SHAKESPEARE, STAY, MY LORD, AND LET YOUR REASON WITH YOUR CHOLER Question,—Henry VIII. . . . J Rete large number of Vice-Presidents who have died in office goes to prove that the Vice-Presidency is almost as fatal as the cholera, and many politicians would greatly prefer the latter. . . HE advocates of intemperance have almost as strong a card in hydrophobia as the Prohibitionist has in the delirium tremens. . . . ““ OR the first time in the history of the United States,” says the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, “there is not a single Smith in Congress.” True, but how many married Smiths are there ? . . . OVERNOR HILL is said to contemplate promoting all privates in the Seventh Regiment to the rank of Brigadier-General. In the appointment of his staff, the Governor has taken the first step in this direction. comicbooks.com