Life — January 1, 1886 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

VOL. VII. JANUARY 1, 1886. 1155 Broapway, New York. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office. Vol. 1.. 50 cents per number ; Vol. II., 25 cents per number; Vols. I1T., IV. and V. at regular rates. Rejected contributions will be destroyed unless accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope. HE esteemed 7?mes has resuscitated its map of the In- ternational Yacht Race to show that there was fraud at the late elections, Thus it will be seen how the experienced journalist turns every little thing to account, and the moral is conveyed to young newspaper men that no stickful of reading matter is of so mean an order but that, at some time or other, it may be run in as an obituary of a leading citizen, or as a treatise upon politics in Europe. . . . Tris a matter of surprise to us that Senator Evarts should so far forget the proprieties as to make a speech in the Senate. If we understand politics in this State—and our under- standing is based on the past—speech-making is not what Mr. Evarts is hired for. Mr. Lapham was never guilty of any such freedom. Mr. W. Pulp Miller, in so far as we know, has never said any- thing, although he has tried several times. Mr. Conkling was heard to utter an occasional remark while he graced the Senate Chamber, but he rests his claim to fame upon the fact of his going into the lobby and holding his nose while some of Mr. Blaine’s cooked dishes were being forced down the throats of his fellow Senators. After such extended precedent it seems strange that Mr. Evarts should be so rash as to open his mouth and consent to be known as anything else than the Nincompoop from New York. We trust this will not occur again. AS a supplement to a modest, retiring little society jour- nal in this city, Town Topics by name, whose editors recently sent us a neatly-printed advertisement dwelling up- on their own wit, beauty of character, purity of soul and gen- eral excellence as intellectual paragons, there is printed a crayon portrait of two ladies prominent in New York society. The pictures are lovely and the ladies are presumably equally so, but, as long as they will permit their features to adorn the world of Jenkinsiana, they must be prepared to bear criticism adverse to themselves when compared to the true ideal of American womanhood, which shrinks fromthe typographic display of its loveliness upon the news-stands, in the bachelor’s apartments, and the bar-rooms. Such vulgarity is more worthy and like our British cousins, who are frequently photographed and peddled in counterfeit for the sake of pounds, shillings and pence. . . . T HE Western Union Telegraph Company's quarterly dividend has been reduced to a five per cent. rate. This is no doubt because the public has waked up to the fact that a special delivery stamp will cause a letter to be delivered, on an average, some seven or eight days sooner than a telegraghic message, and the writer does not have to act as if some bloated bondholder had a corner on the Eng- lish language either. s s * IFE wishes you.A Happy New Year. That the cares and perplexities of existence may bear more lightly upon you in 1886 than during the twelve-month that has passed ; That your Christmas bills may not be so overwhelming as to make you wish there were no red-letter days in the calendar ; That, be they ever so great, you may get the money to pay them; That you may be quit of dyspepsia and malaria; For you, dear madam, that your son at college may not entirely forget what you taught him in his childhood ; For you, dear sir, that your daughter may not be en- trapped by the wiles of any but a solvent Lothario; For you, Benedict, that Beatrice’s intimacy with the cook may be in inverse ratio to her acquaintance with the mil- liner ; For you, Juliet, that Romeo may not take his poison pre- maturely ; For you, Romeo, that a glorious issue out of all your trials may antedate the expiration of your credit at the florists ; For you, Mr. Cleveland, that your shadow may not dimin- ish, but that outlined more portly by the radiance of the Sun, your heroic dimensions may become obvious to the World ; For you, esteemed Pucé, that rivaling the rainbow with your prismatic tints, you may grasp the fabled treasures at its end ; For you, rich, that the Aldermen may leave you some- thing; Pax Vobiscum. Be good, and Heaven prosper you. Business is looking up. '86 will bea happier year than ’85. comicbooks.com