Life — January 1, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SeISQeRS AT Wb HE GAVE THE DOCTOR TIME. 6¢ T)ocTor,” said an anxious citizen, ‘ something has hap- ned to my wife. Her mouth seems set, and she can’t word,” Why, she must have lockjaw !" said the doctor. “*Do you think so? Well, if you are up my way some time next week I wish you would step in and see what you can do for her."— Toledo Commercial, “ Now be a good little boy, Willie,” said his mother to him one day, wishing to impress upon him the reward in store for the just, “and when you die you will have a gold harp to play on.” ‘I don’t know how to play on a gold harp,” he grumbled, “and I don’t want nuthin’ anyway what I 've got to die to git. Let Johnny be good and git the harp, and gimme a drum."—Zs. Amonc the wits, legal and lay, of New York, John Van Buren holds on second place. One day, as he was lunching at the Astor House, an enemy named Wadman came up to him, “Mr, Van Buren,” said Wadman, ‘‘is there any case so un- just, mean, and dirty that you will not take it?” “Well, I don’t know,” said Van Buren, Picking op an oyster on his fork. ‘* What have you been doing now, Wadman ?’— Ex. 13 ROUGH ON PHILADELPHIA, THE New York people have a great contempt for the residents of such small towns as Boston and Philadelphia. Frank Siddalls was in New York not long since, and on being introduced to a entleman who was born and had lived all his ite on Manhattan island, the latter said: “Are you still living in—in—what is the name of that little town over in Pennsylvania?” ‘* Philadelphia ?” suggested Siddalls. “Yes, I believe that's the name of the town. Are you still living there in—what did you say the name of the place was?” ** Philadelphia.” PACS Philadelphia. Are you still living there ?”" “Yes, that is still my home,” replied Siddalls. ‘Yes, I suppose it must be very still there. would like to ask you a question.” “*Go ahead.” “Mr. Siddalls, do you live in Philadelphia in order to be con- sidered eccentric ?”"—E£x Mr. Siddalls, I STRAINED AND UNNATURAL, Tue wife of a New York cashier remarked at the supper table: “* Have you read the late novel by Wilkie Collins?” “* Have n't read it.” ** Well, there is a cashier of a bank in it just like you. He is honest and faithful, and does not run off with his employer's money.” sy That *s the way it is with those novelists. They are so un- natural and improbable in their descriptions of men.” N. B.—Since the above was written the cashier has disap- peared, and foul play is suspected.— Ex. GREECE AND ROME. Quarto, $10. SYMONDS'S RENAISSANCE. § vols, $2 per vol. ComMON SENSE BINDER FOR BINDING FE: . Cheap, Strong and Durabl Will hold 6 numbers. Mailed to the United States for § SUMNER'S PROTECTIONISM. | Adare: office of “ LIFE, KRAKAVER le, my part of 1155 Broapway, N.Y. 16mo, $1. ROUMANIAN FAIRY TALES. Sq. I2mo, $1.25. WISHMAKERS' TOWN, A Poem. By WM. YOUNG. 16mo, vellum, $1.25. MC'CLELLAND'S OBLIVION. 16mo, Leisure Hour Series, $1. a ie LADIES’ TAILOR, HABIT MAKER ax HATTER, 19 EAST aust ST., xEW York. London & Newport. DE BACOURT’S LETTERS. 12m0,| CELEBRATED HATS 1.50, aD 3 LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, PRIESTLEY’S SILK WARP HENRIETTAS Are easily distinguished by their softness and deauty and regularity of finish. They are made of the finest silk and best. Austraiian Wool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. Will, as last year, in order to keep his force of skilled hands “fully em- joyed, MAKE ESPRC- TALLY LOW. PRICES Frota date’ to. Febroary agth next. N.B—All garments made reduces prices to be braced. ‘within the Dove period, HENRY HOLT &CO.,N.Y. PUBLISHERS. ALFRED T. CARROLL Tailor and Importer 166 SIXTH AVE., TWO BLOCKS BELOW FOURTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. Correct Styles, Exclusively the Finest. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose, Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com