Life — December 17, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: 357 IMPKINS: You ‘re looking kinder down in the mouth this morning. Jones: I feel so. Timpkins ; Dead broke ? Jones : No, pawn broke.—oston Globe. AN Eastern young man returned home a few days ago from a a trip to Colorado for his health, and in narrating his adventures he told about buying a silver mine for $3,000. “LT knew they ‘d rope you in!” exclaimed the old man. you were ass enough to buy a humbug mine.” I formed a company and sold half the stock to a Connecticut man for $7,000.” “* Yyou did !" gasped the old man as he turned white. “I'll “Yes, but I didn't lose anything, bet I'm the one who bought it.” “I know you are,” coolly observed the youn; crossed his legs and tried to appear very much at Street News. Wuite Keene was playing ‘* Richard IIIf.” in Little Rock— just as he called for a horse, a man from Washington county said to his companion: ** Come on, Ab, an’ les’ go.” “*Waita minit, Sam. The clown has called fur a hoss, an’ I | reckon the show 's goin’ to begin." —Arkansas Traveler, “| Have such an indulgent husband,” said little Mrs. Doll. “Yes; so George says,” responded Mrs. Spiteful, quietly ‘* Sometimes indulges too much, does n't he?” They no longer speak to each other.— amber, AN IMPERFECT POEM. Post (to editor): ‘A poem, sir, I just dashed off.” Editor: “Yes. I have only one trouble with it, sir.” Poet (anxiously): ‘ And that is?” Editor: “ You didn’t dash it far enough off."—Ex. In one of the many Bibles scattered about a hotel in Grand Rapids for the use of its guests a matter-of-fact drummer wrote in large letters on the title page an appeal for ‘‘less Bibles and better beds."—V. Y. Sun. ee, CURE FOR LOQUACITY. A very loquacious lady, calling one day to consult her La sician, talked on and on with such volubility that the latter could not get ina word edgeways. Growing impatient, he at length told her to put out her tongue, which she did. He then said: “Now please keep it there till yon have heard what I have got to say to you." —Cologne Gazette. ° man, as he jome.— Wall Dupe (to theatre doorkeeper): ‘!Ah, could you—aw—let me see—aw—Mlle. de Montfort. You know her—chawming young cweature, with blonde hair, do n't ye know, Dawnces—aw—in the ballet.” DoorKEEPeER (gruffly) : ** No, you can’t see her, young feller. If you have any message, give it to me. I'm her grandson.” | —Paris Moming News. Messrs. HENRY HOLT & Co.'s HOLIDAY BOOKS. Von Falke’s Greece and Rome. A cheaper edition of this beautiful standard | work, from the original plates, and with all the original illustrations, is ready for $10, Quarto, cloth, gilt edges. “Certainly those who are in search of gifts, can find nothing more appropriate than this handsome volume."—Christian Union, Roumanian Fairy Tales, Sq. 12m0., $1.50. “It is very prettily made up, and will bea pleasant book for the holidays."—Hart/ord Courant. ALFRED T, CARROLL Tailor and Importer 166 SIXTH AVE., TWO BLOCKS BELOW FOURTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. Correct Styles, Exclusively the Finest. fapts | Rekaclen est pees GERMAN SIMPLIFIED. Aneminentiy practical new method or learning the Ger- man language, especially adapted to self-instrection; 12 embers at 10 Cents each, gold separately. For sale by all booksell seceivg of price, by Prot. A rw York. ERAKAVER |'LADIES’ TAILOR, HABIT MAKER AND HATTER, 19 EAST asst ST., New vorx. LONDON AND NEWPoRT, wit, IAD & s last year, in order to Keep his large force of skilled hands fully ‘employed, MAKE SPECIALLY LOW PRICES From date to February 1sth next. COPVRIGKYED. h CELEBRATED HATS | S LADIES’ ROUND HATS. l 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. | ithie the above periods and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., | — New York. (On receipt of stamp, will vend eam. FREE eer ie: Palmer House, Chicago. 0 ee ee nieot 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. | BUSS Porhints Ea narook Ascots Wanted? PRIESTLEY’S SILK WARP HENRIETTAS Are easily distinguished by their softness and beauty and regularity of finish. They are made of the finest silk and best Australian Wool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. N.B—All garments made at Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valles. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com