Life — December 10, 1885 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GREAT SALE OF MATERIAL FOR BOSTON | NOVELS. T has a number of times been delicately hinted in LIFE. | that there is a remarkable, not to say monotonous, simi- larity in the characters which are depicted in the present | generation of Boston novels. Out of this simple fact we have developed the ingenious | and humanitarian scheme for a “ Depot of Novelists’ Mate- rials,” where the ambitious beginner or the hardened literary sinner can purchase, at a reasonable rate, all the characters, scenery, situations, etc., which are necessary for the con- struction of a first-class Boston novel. These we are pre- pared to furnish in more than 1,000 different combinations to suit the varied talents of our customers. It is only possible here to briefly outline a few of the most attractive features .of our stock, but a fully illustrated cata- | logue of one hundred pages will be sent to any one desiring full particulars. language, pure Bostonese; dress, @ /a Howells, with Worth attachments, extra; Beacon street etiquette ; emotional temperament, never higher than 10°, with an average of o. 1. The Indifferent Harvard Man.—Assorted ages, from twenty-one to forty; self-satisfied, from twenty-one to twenty-five; doubts whether the world appreciates a good article, from twenty-five to twenty-eight ; cynical, but ready | to be redeemed by a rich young girl of good family, from twenty-eight to thirty; hopelessly soured on the world, but still ready to marry a millionaire’s daughter, from thirty to thirty-five; disgusted with time and a possible eternity, | meditates suicide, but marries a country girl and lives with her father on the farm, from thirty-five to forty. N. B.—We do not keep this character in stock beyond forty years of age, because he then acquires an amount of good, worldly wisdom, which unfits him for the Boston | novel. 2. The Commonplace Young Man With a Fortune— Father, in trade; blood, blue, but of a very light shade ; tolerably well satisfied with the world, the flesh and the devil ; speaks Bostonese, but is a little rusty in Emerson ; went to the Boston Latin School, but was kept out of Harvard by a mercenary father. 3. The Eccentric Artist or Literary Man.—Ten styles, from mildly mysterious to horribly weird ; suited to be either the good or bad angel of the story; unhappily married ; always an atheist ; a genius for doing the impossible. from the first man on shore from the Afayflower ; the only CHARACTERS (Class A.)—All materials used, first class; | | striking combination from our large and varied assortment. 4. The Imperious Beauty with a Misston.—Descended | - LIFE: daughter of a proud father; believes that Chicago can only be redeemed by a Boston girl; thinks she is the girl; there- | 335 fore, will never marry; tumbles, however, at the first opportunity. 5. The Prectous Little Goose.—Never had a mission, and | doesn’t want one; not up in the transcendental lingo ; never tried the mind cure, because she lacked the material to work on; is liable to follow her heart ; temperature 5° above Bos- ton standard. 6. Miscellaneous.—Job lots of spinsters with eye-glasses Unitarian ministers, decayed aristocrats, Harvard professors and blasé club men. SCENERY.—Boston Common, wet or dry, by sunlight, star- light, gas light or electric light. Faneuil Hall—A fine background for eloquence. The Charles River—With Longfellow’s bridge, etc, Beacon Street.—With Jeunesse dorée accessories. PROPERTIES.—Culture in chunks; Blue Blood by pint, quart or gallon ; ancestral halls from 100 to 250 years old ; 40n mots in assorted packages ; dialogue by the yard. Plots are no longer fashionable, and are not in- cluded in our stock. Customers can display great ingenuity in selecting a A Review suitable for insertion in the At/antic Monthly or Boston 7ranscrift is given free with every purchase. Address our special agent. Droch. HATEVER may be in store for Prince Alexander, at all events he cannot be accused of sub-Se: EHEMIT Ben Hasheesh El Hin Was famed for the length of his grin, For the smile that he ‘d smile Ata joke on the Nile Would extend to a joke in Pekin. O.#H. comicbooks.com