Life, 1885-12-10 · page 10 of 34
Life — December 10, 1885 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis: "The American Peerage" This page contains a serialized ghost story (continuing narrative about a man named Maverick) and a satirical feature titled "The American Peerage," compiled by someone credited as "Perk." The satire mocks the pretensions of American journalists and writers who adopt aristocratic British affectations. The "Bennit" entry ridicules James Gordon Bennett (founder of the *New York Herald*), inflating his humble origins—starting a shipping news paper from "two ash barrels and a plank"—into mock-nobility as "Marquess of Ann-Street." The absurd titles ("Tickler-in-Ordinary," "Lord Admiral of the Yachting Fleet") and heraldic imagery parody British peerage while skewering American social climbing and journalistic self-importance. The accompanying brief editorial mocks British literary references, sarcastically naming American writers (Wendell Holmes, Bryant, Emerson, Longfellow, Lowell, Whittier) in exaggerated British accents, suggesting Americans ape British cultural authority. The joke: American newspapers and writers were adopting pretentious European mannerisms while their actual foundations were comically modest.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
330 mean to do to him? Where was Mrs. Maverick? Mav- erick’s limbs seemed bound with iron; he could not stir, nor utter any sound ; but his whole body seemed to be made of eyes and ears. It was standing close beside him now, and, extending its arm, it laid its cold fingers upon Maverick’s wrist. The touch was as light as a feather, but Maverick felt it through every nerve of his organism. Then the cold fingers left his wrist, and crept slowly upward toward his throat. The sweat broke from his forehead, and his heart trembled and stood still. The next instant, with a low snarl of desper- ation, Maverick had sprung from the bed, and seized in a frantic grasp the burly figure of Dr. Tibbets, his wife’s uncle. VI. “cc UT what could! do, John, dear?” pleaded Mrs. Maverick the next day, “ if uncle had n't fallen down up-stairs all this would n’t have happened; but, asit was, I .did n't dare tell you it was uncle, for fear you would do some- thing violent. I had asked him to come here, without your knowing it, in order to form an opinion, if possible, as to your condition by feeling your pulse and examining you when you were asleep, or in any way unaware of his pres- ence, But when you began hunting him in that wild way with | a revolver, what could I do but try to persuade you that you were mistaken? And as for poor uncle, he was nearly scared to death ; and, if he hadn't been very kind, he would have run out of the house at once and left you to your fate.” “You nearly had me that time up in the hall,” added Dr. Tibbets, chuckling. ‘ You heard me breathing just inside the embrasure of the spare room door ; and if that stair had n't creaked, by the mercy of Providence, just then, and got you off the scent, I'd have been a dead man. Then the slam- ming of that old barn door gave me a chance to communi- cate with Maria; but—well, excuse me from passing such another night for anybody !"” “ And what do you think is the matter with him?” asked Mrs. Maverick. Lack of good ale and outdoor air—and doctors!" re- plied the old gentleman. “I tell you, Maverick, doctors are the best company going; and the only way to get along without them is to have one to dinner once a week.” “ Well,” said Maverick, “I'll begin with you at our Christ- mas dinner to-day. After a ghost, even a doctor is a re- lief.” Julian Hawthorne. HE London Spectator speaks of ‘* Wendell Holmes,” doncherknow. Yaas, now that Cullen Bwyant, Waldo Emerson and Wadsworth Longfellow have left us, ‘gad! Wussell Lowell, Gweenleaf Whittier and Wendell Holmes are the most pwominent wemaining luminawies of the liter- wawy cwaft in the States, b’ Jove! HE peculiar glory with which General Shaler has suc- ceeded in covering himself is not a proper cause for rejoicing, perhaps, but the fact of its being discovered should send a thrill of joy through every citizen. - LIFE: THE AMERICAN PEERAGE. [coMPILED BY PERK, ULTERIOR KNIGHT FOR MANHATTAN.] Wennit. === 7 MAL Spo GvsP ENNIT, JAMES GORGON, Marquess of Ann-Street, Tickler-in-Ordinary to the British Aristocracy, Lieu- tenant of the Press Offensibles, Lord Admiral of the Yachting Fleet, etc. Lineage: Lord Ann-Street traces back one entire genera- tion to that eminent ecclesiastical dignitary, James Gorgon Bennit I., who resigned his position in the church in order to start a daily paper devoted to shipping news, on the basis of two ash barrels and a plank. The present Lord has advanced so far in social dignity that, whereas his father was merely J. G. Bennit I., he is known as James Gorgon Bennit A I. Having become an honorary peer of England and France, he was created an American peer in deference to the nobility of these countries. The Marquess is distinguished for his ascetic habits of life, and for tenderness towards his subor- dinates, whom he frequently discharges without a moment's warning, and without cause, in order to spare them the misery of suspense. Lord Ann-Street is a bitter foe of journalism, and maintains a pink paper and a white paper for the express purpose of discouraging young aspirants. Arms: Quarterly. First and fourth ermine, on a bend(er) sable the legend ‘* Two Cents,” copper; second and third gules, a herald’s tabard or. ; Crest : A bull surmounted by a naval crown, Supporters: Printers. ; Motto: “That I may do good.” Clubs: All-ofEm, WHaT hope for the temperance movement so long as | “ reading maketh the full man ?” comicbooks.com