Life — December 3, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: A LITTLE boy refusing to take a pill, his mother placed it in a piece of preserved pear and gave ittohim. Ina few minutes she said ; “* Vernie, have you eaten the pear?” “ Yes, mother, all but the seeds."—Zx, Some of the railways down this way are still a little shaky. | The old Jerkwarter line is especially loose in the joints. A com- mercial traveller who came in yesterday relates a little experience while bounding over the road. ‘*We were whooping along,” he said, ‘tat the rate of about seven miles an hour, and the old train was weaving terribly. Passengers were rolling from one end of | * smile on the car to the other, I held on like grim death to the arms of my seat. Presently we settled down to the quiet running—at least I could keep my hat on and my teeth didn’t chatter. The conductor was in hailing distance, I looked up with a ghastly smile, wishing to look cheerful, and said : “We are going a little smoother, I see.” “Yes,” said the conductor, “we're off the track now."—Lexing- ton (Ga.) Castanet. 321 Younc Housrwire (consulting with cook about the dinner for a party): ‘* As a second course we will have eel.” Cook: ** How much ought I to get, ma'am ?” Young wife: ‘I fancy ten yards will be about sufficient.”"— Fliegende Blatter. Tere was an old woman named Guelph, Exceedingly fond of the puelph ; She ruled a great people, Was stiff as a steeple, And kept, all the time, to hersuelph. —The Judge. Suopkeerer: ‘‘T beg your pardon, sir, but one of them half- crowns is counterfeit.” Customer: ‘I know it, sir. I got it here last week.” Seeing smile on the shopkeeper's face he says: *'I see you doubt my Shopkeeper: ‘Not at all, sir, I was merely thinking how remarkable it was that you should have got this money here last week when I only opened to-day,"—£x. ‘* A GENUINE patriot,” said an election orator recently, ‘* must at all times be ready to die for his country, even though it slould cost him his life!" (Thundering applause.)—Lustige Historien. To be ready Dec. 71h will contain more than twice the usual The Christmas Number amount of matter, with an original and ghostly tale by of LIFE JULIAN HAWTHORNE. FOR SALE BY ALL NEWSDEALERS; PRICE TWENTY CENTS. _ Mess. HENRY HOLT & CO. | PUBLISH NOVEMBER 28rn Roumanian Fairy Tales Collected by Mite Kremnitz and translated by J. Mz Percival. Illuminated cloth, sq. ramo. $1.50. Wishmaker’s Town. A poem by Wm. Young (author of Pendragon) ramo., vellum, gilt top. $1.95. RECENTLY PUBLISHED, OBLIVION, ‘An episode in the Tennessee mountains by M. G. McClelland. x6mo. Leisure Hour Series. $t. Jt ts pethaps the dealing with mountaineer life which rraddock so quickly, and the ew author does not Er by tie comarca. The conversations while perfect: rough romance that suggests the ® Ty natural, Cs THE CRITIC. ALEXANDER MACGREGOR’S SCHOOL FOR DANCING, 112 FIFTH AVENUE, Family Classes every day. Private Lessons any hour daily. For Terms, &c., see Circulars. ALFRED T, CARROLL Tailor and Importer 166 SIXTH AVE., TWO BLOCKS BELOW FOURTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. Styles, Exclusively the Finest. Correct GERMAN SIMPLIFIED. An eminentiy practical new method for learning the Ger- man languace, especially adapted to self-instruction; 12 pembers/at to Cents each, gold separately. For sale cellets : Seat pott-pald, on receivt of price, by Prot, Knotiach, 140 Nassau Street, New York sg,” JJUNLAp © Co CELEBRATED HATS AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, KRAKAVER |\LADIES’ TAILOR. a 19 EAST ast ST.. ¥ Kew yore. Lonpon ano NEwporT. Is Now smowinc Fresn suianle jesigns.—For Winter Habits « fall “line of Meltoas in all weights. ALL GARMENTS | ARE STRICTLY “TAILOR MADE and Dxsicnxp. A perfect &t and satisfaction erfect ft and satistactios Orders by mail 7 attended to.” Sremeey every house, Menand wotnen agents werywhet 2” Bool Wi Gi DUBEET £00. lola Guasteet Ge Phindeaa re PRIESTLEY’S SILK WARP HENRIETTAS Are easily distinguished by their softness and deauty and regularity of finish, They are made of the finest silk and best Australian Wool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com