Life — November 12, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE Wie ‘Al $egfoRS At Mal ENTERPRISE. RAMP: “Please, sir, will you buy this ring? _I am starv- ing. It's my wife's wedding ring ; I—" (breaks down and bursts into tears). Gentleman (indignantly) : “You lying tascal! I bought your wife's weddin, ring from you only last week to save you from starvation, You are an impostor !{” Tramp: ‘Not at all, sir. This belongs to my second wife. I was married again last Monday." —PAiladelphia Call, “ Let the gods have the heavens, but let us have the earth,” he [Colonel Robert S. Ingersoll] exclaimed. Those who h long maintained that the famous infidel wanted the earth will now feel that they have not lived altogether in vain. The Colonel's generosity in giving up the heavens may be in part accounted for by the fact that his interests up that way are sup- posed to be pretty heavily encumbered with mortgages, anyway. —Detroit Fournal. THE CULTIVATION OF MEMORY. MABEL (to her grandpa): And can you really remember George the Fourth ? Grandpa: Yes, little one; you see I am a good deal older than you are, Mabel: How much older must I grow before I shall be able to remember him ?—/Jack and Jill. 279 First PeppLer: What are you carrying? Second Peddler: Patent medicines, First Peddler: Well, all right ; you go ahead and work up the business, and I'll follow. Second Peddler: Why, what are you carrying ? First Peddler: Gravestones.—Ramébler. Tue wife of a Common Councilman found herself placed next the plenipotentiary of the State of Dummerjungen at the Man- sion House dinner, Resolving to profit by her proximity to so exalted a personage, she talked volubly to him, and at first ad- dressed him as ‘* Your Excellency” at every tenth word. By and by she grew more familiar and called him ‘* Herr von Dum- merjungen,” Then she got on to “ Dummerjungen,” and pres- ently to “‘ My dear Dummerjungen.” ‘* Madame," observed his Excellency, with a bow, ‘my Christian name is Fritz." That shat her up, and she spoke no more, but devoted herself to lessert.— Ex, Wuen Rubinstein was over here he was presented to Josh Billings, and the pianist was careful to impress the American with accounts of the nobility of his ancestors, ‘* My famil said he, loftily, goes back to the time of the Crusaders. iy researches in this direction enabled me to discover that one of my ancestors accompanied the Emperor Barbarossa." Josh smiled, and affecting to be immensely 10 impressed, immediately re- marked : ‘*On the piano, of course."—PAil, Times. Horatio (thought to have proposed to Miss Lucy) : like ginger ale, Miss Lucy? Miss Lucy: No, I don't like anything that pops, except champagne. All present (in chorus) : Do you We thought so!—Mew York Sun. Messrs. Hen: Holt & Co. HAVE JUST PUBLISHED A New and Cheaper Edition of mes, Menmire. o5 GREECE AND ROME. booksellers; seat post. Kno@ack, 14 Nassau Street, GERMAN SIMPLIFIED. As eminently practical new method for learaing th numbers at 1 Cents each, sold separately paid, oo receipt of price, by Pr ew to, selbinstroct 3 3 ‘or sale by al KIKRAKAVER Their Life and Art. By JACOB YON FALKE, Director ofthe Imperial Museum, Vienna. Translated by William Hand Browne, Associate of Johas Hopkins University. With over Gat wanded Wesraions. ars, mptuoes work. The labors ofthe draughtsman have been lavthly cuployed. ted we have porttior views of places and buildings, both a thelr presest condition and Fest Nations of dress, forniture, x domestic interiors, street and ga ig of statuary. clc., etc. ‘There are about Aiiy ts, and pearly three m the work of folio, hand seit Bo fort the drawing 0 NEW AMERICAN NOVE SUZETTE: by NARY SPEAR TERNARY 1en0, $1: OBLIVI Ni by M.G. MCCLELLAND. 16mo. PREJUDICE IS A THIEF. And will rob you of many food t things, Out cigarettes are a8 fine as can be produced. The lately been improved, are not hard bor dry—Witl gree and moist-—Will net crumble inthe pocket nor Match you, ia the 1 Jou are not opposed 19 8 henge Zod canmet obesia them ol yout Cash, stad to the manufacturers for asample. WM. S. KIMBALL & CO., Enclose three Red Stamps. ROCHESTER, N. Y. ALFRED T. CARROLL |, Tailor and Importer 166 SIXTH AVE. | TWO HLOCKS BELOW FOURTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. Correct Styles, Exclusively the Finest. an. S fe o ERS: CELEBRATED HATS|¥ aN. his AND H LADIES' ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, LADIES’ TAILOR, 19 EAST aust ST., KRW YORK. LONDON AND NEWPORT. In new showing hs fresh eove- the Autumn Season se. at {rom rom ceding ‘London and Pifiadies will nd hia stock the est and ‘America jickirs, Riding Hables with er latest Improvements. GARMENTS “AR staicriy’ TaiLon” MADE and Desicnan. 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