Life, 1885-10-22 · page 5 of 16
Life — October 22, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis This page contains two unrelated items: **"Scientific Navigation"** discusses the historical log of the *Mayflower*, comparing ancient and modern sailing methods—a straightforward historical article with no satirical content. **"The Jackass and the Dude"** is a fable wherein a Dude attempts to prove kinship to a Jackass by claiming they're "nearly related." The Jackass refuses, noting he's never insulted humans by calling them jackasses. The moral warns against attempting to claim acquaintance with a hotel clerk—likely satirizing social climbing or pretension among the working class. The accompanying illustration shows well-dressed women encountering street children, with the caption about bringing a "lovely dog" to a "miserable place," reinforcing themes of class distinction and the mockery of those who patronizingly visit the poor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NAVIGATION—ANTIQUE AND MODERN. AVE the centuries shown any change in the manner of | sailing vessels? Do we manage our crafts by the same methods that were used by our marine ancestors? Have our sailors inherited the sea secrets and tactics which the early skippers used to such advantage ? The proper way to make the comparison is to consult the logs of antique and modern vessels, carefully noting any points of difference therein, and thus arriving at the result. Accordingly we have secured the original, bilious-looking log of the Mayflower, with which we will compare the heavy- calendered, dry-finish legal cap report of our latest vessel— the Purttan; and in thus confining our comparisons to sailors of one race and religion, we flatter ourselves we can arrive at a conclasion on scheduled time. I. LOG OF THE “ MAYFLOWER.” On board Mayflower, off Milford Haven.—The last spin- | ning wheels, tuning forks and tracks having been stored 229 in the starboard hold, Praise-God-Barebones has ordered prayers for the voyage ; and same are continued during the entire outflowing tide. At slack water Brother P. G. B. B. is still at his prayer, when the captain, seeing that his vessel has lost her opportunity to clear the harbor, forgets temper- ance of speech and roars out: “I'll be jiggered!” He is immediately taken ashore in irons, and a new master en- gaged at the rooms of the Y. M. C. A. Way Of, Saturday. —The Mayflower is now out of sight | of land, and the last picnic straw hat floated wearily past the lea stern more than five hours ago. 1 At sharp six the helmsman leaves his tiller, and the vessel must take care of herself for the next twenty-four hours, in accordance with a clause in the Blue Laws, forbidding manual labor on the Sabbath. A dangerous gale is blowing, | and rocks loom over the chandelier, but the Mayflower must buffet, unaided. Sunday.—At six P. M. the helmsman resumes control of the tiller, just in time to sheer off from a reef, on which the vessel has been driving. One brother, who kissed his wife at the eighth bell, is made to walk the plank. The elders now play a new game (the only one permitted) called “ The Tile Test.” This game is very simple, being played as follows: ‘The brothers’ hats are hung upon a row of pegs, and the hat whose brim extends further down than the rest wins. This game affords great glee, and is FABLES FOR THE TIMES. | THE JACKASS AND THE DUDE. T a meeting of the farm animals the Dude once at- tempted to prove his relationship to the Jackass, “Why,” he said, vainly, “ just look at my ears! We must be nearly related.” “True,” returned the Jack- ass, “ you may be a degenerated | mule; but though I have often heard men call you a Jackass, they have never yet insulted me by calling me a Dude.” At this speech the other animals burst into roars of laughter, and the crestfallen Dude slunk silently away. MoRAL: This Fable teaches us that an ordinary mortal should not attempt to claim the acquaintance of a hotel clerk. BEN BUTLER took a sail in his yacht last week. A sort of widow's cruise, as it were. HIGH-TONED—A fife. O, MABEL, IS IT NOT DREADFUL! UP SUCH A LOVELY DOG! WHAT A MISERABLE PLACE TO BRING comicbooks.com