Life — October 1, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PRS AT NLL AM SEISSORS AT NvLLy MONSIEUR MELINIQUE’S DEPORTMENT. Monae MELINIQUE lost Bis danghtes the other day. An American friend met him on Broadway after the funeral and said: “T saw you at the house during the sad services.” “Qui, and how does monsieur think I deported myself on ze occasion ?” “Oh, admirably.” “* Ah, oui, you tink so, By gar, should have seen me at ze grave. TIMID GASLAMPS, ou saw me at ze house, You raised ——!"—Old Favorite, Tue gas furnished the city of San Antonio is of a very inferior uality, and consequently the streets are very poorly lighted, but they are allowed to burn until after daylight. A stranger asked George Horner, a prominent druggist: ‘* Why do the gaslights burn all night in this town?” ** Pecause dose gash lights vas so scmall dot dey vas afraid to go out ven it vas dark."—T7exas Siftings: DENYING THE SOFT IMPEACHMENT. “Let me see,” said a minister who was filling out a marriage certificate, and had forgotten the date, ‘‘this is the sth, .is it not?” **No, sir,” said the bride, with some indignation ; only my second.” —Ex. “this is 195 TOO GREEN, Scene in a grocery stone: Proprietor talking with customer while clerk tries to get a bushel of potatoes out of a barrel into a sack, Proprietor: They ‘ll be ready in a few minutes, sir, Customer: What's the matter with your clerk ? Proprietor: In rienced, Customer: Why don’t you fire him ? Proprietor: Too green to be fired.— Texas Siftings, A PROMISING BOY, JEWELER (to new boy): out, Johnny ? New Boy: Yes, sir, I sold six plain gold rings. Jeweler (very much pleased): Good, my boy. We'll make a first-class jeweler of you one of these days, You got the regular price, of course? New Boy: Oh, yes, sir. side 18c., an’ the gentleman took al Did you sell anything while I was The Race was marked on the in- 1 there was left, sir.—Zx. “On, George, how superlatively still, clear, and beautiful is the night!” "he wh’ spered, leaning her finely veined temple against his coat collar: “how soothing, how restful!” ‘* Yes," he replied, toying with ‘her chestnut aureole hair; ‘what a night to shoot cats !"—Z£x, “Don't you thiok,” said Mrs. Keener, ‘‘that when Adam realized the vastness of the world into which he had been ushered that he must have had agreat deal on his mind?” “Well,” responded Mrs. Blunt, ‘from the ‘photographs Thave seen of him I should say that whatever he did have on must have been on his mind,”— Yonkers Gasette, Good New Light Reading IN THE Leisure foment Series THE RED ROUTE. By Wiliam Sine. HEALEY. & fesic Fothergll.” 35 cts. Alexander, A FAMILY REFAIR: By Hugh Gonpay. 30 cts. MADAME DE PRESNEL. by E. F. Poynter. caRRigtoN's GIFT, ETC. py Hash Coser. tha EY aul) A Mitt AIRE’ Oust By Baily Law- Jess. 2gets, A SECOND LIFE. By Mrs, Alexander. 35 cts. THE DYNAMITER; on New Aranian NiGurts. asets. soap, Cashmere Bouquet Toilet Soap. Has the largest sale of any superfine toilet Perfume novel and excep- tionally strong. Send four cents in stamps to Colgate & Co., N. Y., for sample cake. IKKAKAVER LADIES’ TAILOR, 19 EAST aist ST., NEw YORK. Loxpon AND NEWPORT. ng i ected trom leading London end Paris Houses, Ladies will fad his stock the Second Series. By R. L. Stevenson, yo cts. BOUND TOGETHER. By Hugh Conway. gocts. DARK DAYS. By Hugh Conway. a5 ct THE paBy's GRANDMOTHER. By L. B. Walford. 30 cts. HENRY HOLT & Co. PUBLISHERS, NEW YORK. Jbffeed 6. Carroll, TAILOR & IMPORTER. ‘Autumn and Winter’? London Also Specialties in Low Priced Suitings Novelties in great variety. and Overcoatings, Exclusive and Correct Styles. 166 Srocth SAove., NEW YORK. Henriette Frame,| Je ‘ ROBES AND MANTEAUX, / = takes occasion to announce that she 1s in receipe of very choice novelties for Spring Out of town orders receive special atten- tion, Perfect fit guaranteed on receipt of 232 West 22d Street, Tew Ufork. | PRIESTLEY'S SILK WARP HENRIETTAS Are easily distinguished by their softness and beauty and regularity of finish. They are made of the Wool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. ALL GARMENTS ARE STRICTLY TAILOR MaDmand Desicnen. BYY THE MINIATURE: STATUETTE OF the Bartholdi Statue. 1.00 each, Address, RICHARD But ER, Sac’y. Mercer Street, New York. Jinest silk and best Australian comicbooks.com