Life — September 17, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: IFE (at a late hour): ‘* Well, where in the world have you been Husband ; ‘To tell you the (hic) truth, m’ dear, some of the hic) boys at the offis gone ‘way on (hic) vacations, y’ know, an— an short-handed, y’ un’stan’, an’ I’ve bee—been fillin’ vacancy. Zat's hones’ truth, m’ dear, s’ help me.” Wife: “You seem to have filled the vacancy pretty full."— New York Times, THE ORACLE IN THE ART GALLERY. A LOCAL oracle was walking through a gallery with one of those large-eyed, artless, simple, modest girls the other day. He was enlarging on the different schools of painting. He appreci- ated everything ; he knew everything. They came toa picture. He saw without looking a name in the corner. ‘* Now, there,” he said, ‘'I can tell the Dutch school at a glance. That is by Edboker. Edboker is a favorite of mine. There is something so genuine in his painting, something so natural and strong in his handling of a subject. I think nothing is more marked or curious than the distinctions between painters in the way they treat the same theme. The strong Dutch indi- viduality of Edboker ——" “I beg your pardon, but it appears to me this picture is painted by E. A. Baker.” “Baker! Ah, dear me, so it is. How very Dutch he is."—San Francisco Chronicle, 167 “Now, you tell me I have a fair memory, a great capacity for learning languages, a large bump of veneration, and a well- developed head generally ! ** You have,” said the phrenologist. “*Is there anything,” said the man under examination, ih the exuberance of his joy, ‘that my head needs to make it absclutely perfect?” “Yes, “ What is it, pray?” asked the man, “A shampoo.” —Barbers’ Gazette: THE SMALL BOY HELPING THINGS ALONG. “tI say, Bobby,” whispered Featherly, “was your sister pleased to learn that I had called upon her “Yes, indeed, she was,” replied “ When mother told her that’ Mr. Featherly had called while she was out, she said, ‘Thank heaven !"" —Zx, cor HIM, A ngcRo boy, while walking along the street, took off his hat and struck at a wasp that had alighted ona tall shrub, hangin over a fence, The boy put on his hat, turned to a man and thought I got dat ar ole wass.” id n't you get him?” “No, sah, but I—" he snatched off his hat, clapped his hand on the top of his head, squatted, howled and said : “ Blame fi did n't git that ole wass."—Arkansaw Traveller, EQUAL TO THE OCCASION. Mrs. Spook, when her pastor called the other day, hastened to find a Bible for him to read. She could find only a few soiled leaves up in the garret, which she handed to the pastor, remark- ing: “ Why, really, I did n’t know we were so near out."—Ex, Good New Light Reading | IN THE Leisure Moment Series AT BAY, By Mrs. Alexander. 30cts. HEALEY, By Jessie Fothergill. "35 cts. A FAMILY AFFAIR. By Hy; way. 30 cts. MADAME DE PRESNEL. By E. F. Poynter. cts, CARRISTON’S GIFT, ETC. By Hugh Conway. With a portrait ef the eather, socks. A MILLIONAIRE’S COUSIN. By Baily Law- ess. acts, A SECOND LIFE, By Mra, Alexander. 35 cts. THE DYNAMITER ; on New Ananan Nicuts. Toilet soap. Cashmere Bouquet Has the largest sale of any superfine toilet erfume novel and excep- tionally strong. Send four cents in stamps to ‘A oR CKETS. “Ul fa Colgate & Co., N. ¥., for sample cake. z PRS is KRAKAVER, LADIES’ TAILOR, 19 EAST arst ST., KRW YORK. LONDON aNpD NEWPORT, Is now showing his fresh novel- ties for the. 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In view ‘of the increasing demand for garments of elegance and HIGH CLASS STANDARD of style, at reasonable prices, we are prepared to meet the emergency with an unusually select line for spriny Agent CARMEL is made of Pure, Otsve Ott only, by a Mission Society in Palestine, Ut is shipped direct tothe Societys New York, tus offering a guarantee of A! hs fumery is used to conceal poor mate: other soaps for the Nuxseny, the Teeth and the OAP SOLUTE PURITY. Though fragrant, no per- im elegant requisite for Tovlet and Bath its superior to all nis. Sold by first-class druggists and grocers. wear, acceptable to the most refin taste. Riding Costumes and Liveries in ish Styles, 166 Srocth Jbve., NEW YORK. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com