Life — September 10, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LITERARY NOTES. M ARKUS TWAIN is picking chestnuts In this lovely autumn weather, While the blizzards o'er the land begin to blow. Henry James is curs In the midst of Scottish heather, That he really is n't English, dontcherknow. Mr. Howells has let up on Silas Lapham and his rising, For he’s reached at last the season of the fall. Oscar Wilde has gone to seed and Quit his attitudinizing, As he listens to his tiny infant's bawl. “Doing Better” is the title Of a paperette religious From the facile pen of Reverend E. P. Roe; And we hope in doing better His advancement is prodigious, For he's heretofore been just a little slow. « . * TL HE Tribune prints an editorial with nine paragraphs, | each of them ending with scals This is the cheekiest performance we have yet seen from a New York daily. What claim has the 7rébune to Mr. Cleveland's patronage ? . . . HE World says that some of its ablest correspondents are knocking about as Botanists and Conchologists this summer, We do not doubt it. The World's columns give evidence that its ablest correspondents are not attending to news- paper work. * * . T is announced that Samudu, a Mandingo with 100,000 men, has driven great quantities of thieves out of the country. We hope they have left enough Mendingos at home to look after the Ladydingoes. * . + NOTHER Democratic extravagance has come to light. United States Consul Sprague is issuing clean bills of health at Gibraltar, * * HE Philadelphia 7¢mes states that if the legend be true this is not the first time a Priscilla has been captured by a Puritan. No, indeed; and it isn’t the first time a Puritan has thrashed his Priscilla, either. A Re imminent embroglio between France and Great Britain is believed to have been originated by an enterprising Yankee quack doctor as an advertisement of his Pain-killer remedy. . * * HE police have had two very quiet weeks lately. The politicians have been away on business. . . * apue truthful 7yzéune tells of a horse in Brooklyn that was found with one of its hind hoofs so firmly embedded in its mouth that tackle had to be used to get it out. That horse ought to be sent out to Mr. Hoadly, of Ohio. e . . E regret to hear of the demise of the Chicago Current. It was good while it was in the swim, but a trifle weak in its financial theories, and when financial theories get weak somehow or other the financiers themselves have a way of “ Petering.” * * * YRUS W. FIELD is now known as a second Columbus, because he laid the cable. Just how appropriate this is will be seen when we consider Columbus's efforts in this line. . . * HE people of Lowell are desperately afraid of a small- pox epidemic. We had supposed that the home of ex-Governor Butler had had its meed of hard luck. « * * a]F HE 7rvbune intimates that the Republican Party has a bright outlook. Yes, indeed, but we had an idea they were after an “in” look. How is this, Mr. Reid? * * . WE advise English relief expeditions hereafter to place their generals in the rear and their water-carriers in front. Arabs are much more afraid of water than of British | military men. * * . M R. PULITZER declines his Congressional perquisite of thirty-two quarts of wheat. We would n't care to give Mr. Pulitzer the refusal of thirty-two pints of rye on this account. comicbooks.com