Life — September 10, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

$2G0ORS AT NLL K PxtucKian (rushing into a’ saloon in great haste): Here, give me a drink of whisky. Bartender: I'll have to go down cellar and tap a fresh barrel, Colonel; the old one has run out, But it won't take me a minute. Kentuckian: All right, go ahead; but be quick about it. I've just heard that my house is on fire, and J 've no time to lose, —New York Sun. “HELLO, old chappie. months.” “No. T went out of town last fall.” I should—ah! say you have been away. pick up such a deuced American accent? English at all, doncher know.” “in England.” “Oh! Haven't seen you in Boston for Where did you You don't speak WHERE HE DREW THE LINE, Tey tell a good story on a South Georgian statesman, who went to Charleston in the old days and stopped ata hotel. A waiter brought out some shrimps, which the Georgian siowed away as best he could. In a moment the waiter reappeared with a stand of celery. ** No,” said the Georgian, shaking his head solemnly, ‘' I have tried your bugs and I don't like them, and you can bet yer life T'do n't want none er your grass !"—AWanta Constitution. 153 THE COST OF AN EDUCATION. “Your studies are costing me a great deal,” said a father to his son, as he reached in his pocket for money to buy more books with, | “*T know it, father,” replied the son, with some emotion, as he pocketed a $10 bill, ‘and I don’t study very hard, either."— New York Sun, “*Say,” said the editor's smart little son, as he entered a store, “do you keep knives?” “Ob, yes,”’ responded the storekeeper. for years.” “Well,” returned the boy, starting for the door, “ you ought to advertise, and then you wouldn't keep ‘em so lung."—Wor- ristown Herald, “We've kept them PROFESSIONAL CONSOLATION, FamiLy PHYSICIAN Patient (excitedly): ‘* I will recover.” Family Physician Not exactly, but—well, after consultation we find that your disease is entirely novel, and if the autopsy should demonstrate that fact, we have decided to name it alter you."—Philadelphia Call. Well, I congratulate you.” Simpson and his wife were on their way to church and the lady was putting on her gloves. “My dear,” he said, pettishly, ‘you should complete your toilet at home, I'd just as soon see a woman putting on her stockings on the street as putting on her gloves.” “Most men would,” she said, promptly; and the abashed husband did n't say another word.—£vansville Argus. HENRY HOLT & CO, | Cashmere NEW YORK, HAVE JUST PUBLISHED HEALEY,| By JESSIE FOTHERGILL, Author of “ THE First VIOLIN, “PERIL,” Etc, Leisure Hour Series, $1.00. soap. Bouquet | Toilet Soap. Has the largest sale of an erfume novel and excep- tionally strong. Send four cents in stamps to Colgate & Co., N. Y. ~ KRAKAUER, LADIES’ TAILOR, 19 EAST arst ST., NEW YORK. LONDON AND NEWPORT. Is now showing bis fresh novelties for the Autema ‘Season selected from lead ing London and Paris Houses. Ladies will fd bis stock. the largest and choicest in America to select from for TRAVEL ING. ACK superfine toilet ding for sample cake. their latest improvements, Leisure Moment Series, 35cts. Jolfeed Go. Carroll, TAILOR & IMPORTER. In view of the increasing demand for garments of elegance and HIGH CLASS STANDARD of style, at reasonable prices, we are receipt of v and tion, measurement, Henriette Frame, ROBES AND MANTEAUX, takes occasion to announce that she is in choice novelties for Spring er Baton ‘Out of town orders receive special atten- Perfect St guaranteed on receipt of 232 Weat 32 Steet, New York. ALL GARMENTS ARE NOT ONLY STRICTLY TAILOR MADR, BUT AL- 30 TAILOR DESIGNED. A perfect Stand satisfac: tion "guaranteed. without enogal tatereiew, Or Ker by mall peomptly a tended to, amen. 8 for Business of Colege. d Boys. Single of 4 MEDIA ACADEMY : Bla i, SWITHIN C, for Backw: rooms, “All students board with Princ SHORTLIDGE (Harvard A.B. and prepared to meet the emergency with an unusually select line for spring wear, acceptable to the most refined taste. Riding Costumes and Liveries in English Styles. 166 Siccth Sbve., CARMEL SOAP is made of Pure Otive Ort only, by a Mission Society in Palestine It is shipped direct to the Society's Agent in New York, thus offering a guarantee of ABSOLUTE PURITY, Though fragrant, no per- famery is used to conceal poor materials. other soaps for the Nursery, the Teeth and the Hair. ‘An elegant requisite for Toilet and Bath ; it is superior to all Id by first-class druggists and grocers. NEW YORK, ——COMMON SENSE BINDER——— FOR BINDING *LIFE: Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Cheap, Strong and Durable, Will hold 06 numbers. Mailed to any part of the United States for $1. Address, office of “LIFE,” 1155 Broapway, N.Y. <1 Lundborg’s Perfume, Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lily of the Valley. Lundborg's Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com