Life, 1885-09-10 · page 13 of 16
Life — September 10, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains four brief humorous anecdotes typical of *Life* magazine's satirical humor from the late 19th century: 1. **"At Scissors at Nulls"**: A Kentucky gentleman rushes into a saloon requesting whisky, explaining his house is on fire—but doesn't want to wait for a fresh barrel. The joke plays on Southern stereotypes about whiskey consumption and priorities. 2. **"Where He Drew the Line"**: A Southern aristocrat happily eats shrimp at a Charleston hotel but refuses celery, calling it "bugs" and "grass." The humor mocks regional unfamiliarity with certain foods. 3. **"The Cost of an Education"**: A student receives money from his father for books but admits he doesn't study hard—the irony being education costs money while the student contributes minimal effort. 4. **"Professional Consolation"**: A doctor tells a patient his disease is novel enough to be named after him—a dark joke about terminal illness disguised as honor. The remaining content is advertisements for books, clothing, and toiletries, typical of period magazines. The cartoons rely on period stereotypes and gentle domestic/professional humor rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
$2G0ORS AT NLL K PxtucKian (rushing into a’ saloon in great haste): Here, give me a drink of whisky. Bartender: I'll have to go down cellar and tap a fresh barrel, Colonel; the old one has run out, But it won't take me a minute. Kentuckian: All right, go ahead; but be quick about it. I've just heard that my house is on fire, and J 've no time to lose, —New York Sun. “HELLO, old chappie. months.” “No. T went out of town last fall.” I should—ah! say you have been away. pick up such a deuced American accent? English at all, doncher know.” “in England.” “Oh! Haven't seen you in Boston for Where did you You don't speak WHERE HE DREW THE LINE, Tey tell a good story on a South Georgian statesman, who went to Charleston in the old days and stopped ata hotel. A waiter brought out some shrimps, which the Georgian siowed away as best he could. In a moment the waiter reappeared with a stand of celery. ** No,” said the Georgian, shaking his head solemnly, ‘' I have tried your bugs and I don't like them, and you can bet yer life T'do n't want none er your grass !"—AWanta Constitution. 153 THE COST OF AN EDUCATION. “Your studies are costing me a great deal,” said a father to his son, as he reached in his pocket for money to buy more books with, | “*T know it, father,” replied the son, with some emotion, as he pocketed a $10 bill, ‘and I don’t study very hard, either."— New York Sun, “*Say,” said the editor's smart little son, as he entered a store, “do you keep knives?” “Ob, yes,”’ responded the storekeeper. for years.” “Well,” returned the boy, starting for the door, “ you ought to advertise, and then you wouldn't keep ‘em so lung."—Wor- ristown Herald, “We've kept them PROFESSIONAL CONSOLATION, FamiLy PHYSICIAN Patient (excitedly): ‘* I will recover.” Family Physician Not exactly, but—well, after consultation we find that your disease is entirely novel, and if the autopsy should demonstrate that fact, we have decided to name it alter you."—Philadelphia Call. Well, I congratulate you.” Simpson and his wife were on their way to church and the lady was putting on her gloves. “My dear,” he said, pettishly, ‘you should complete your toilet at home, I'd just as soon see a woman putting on her stockings on the street as putting on her gloves.” “Most men would,” she said, promptly; and the abashed husband did n't say another word.—£vansville Argus. HENRY HOLT & CO, | Cashmere NEW YORK, HAVE JUST PUBLISHED HEALEY,| By JESSIE FOTHERGILL, Author of “ THE First VIOLIN, “PERIL,” Etc, Leisure Hour Series, $1.00. soap. Bouquet | Toilet Soap. Has the largest sale of an erfume novel and excep- tionally strong. Send four cents in stamps to Colgate & Co., N. Y. ~ KRAKAUER, LADIES’ TAILOR, 19 EAST arst ST., NEW YORK. LONDON AND NEWPORT. Is now showing bis fresh novelties for the Autema ‘Season selected from lead ing London and Paris Houses. Ladies will fd bis stock. the largest and choicest in America to select from for TRAVEL ING. ACK superfine toilet ding for sample cake. their latest improvements, Leisure Moment Series, 35cts. Jolfeed Go. Carroll, TAILOR & IMPORTER. In view of the increasing demand for garments of elegance and HIGH CLASS STANDARD of style, at reasonable prices, we are receipt of v and tion, measurement, Henriette Frame, ROBES AND MANTEAUX, takes occasion to announce that she is in choice novelties for Spring er Baton ‘Out of town orders receive special atten- Perfect St guaranteed on receipt of 232 Weat 32 Steet, New York. ALL GARMENTS ARE NOT ONLY STRICTLY TAILOR MADR, BUT AL- 30 TAILOR DESIGNED. A perfect Stand satisfac: tion "guaranteed. without enogal tatereiew, Or Ker by mall peomptly a tended to, amen. 8 for Business of Colege. d Boys. Single of 4 MEDIA ACADEMY : Bla i, SWITHIN C, for Backw: rooms, “All students board with Princ SHORTLIDGE (Harvard A.B. and prepared to meet the emergency with an unusually select line for spring wear, acceptable to the most refined taste. Riding Costumes and Liveries in English Styles. 166 Siccth Sbve., CARMEL SOAP is made of Pure Otive Ort only, by a Mission Society in Palestine It is shipped direct to the Society's Agent in New York, thus offering a guarantee of ABSOLUTE PURITY, Though fragrant, no per- famery is used to conceal poor materials. other soaps for the Nursery, the Teeth and the Hair. ‘An elegant requisite for Toilet and Bath ; it is superior to all Id by first-class druggists and grocers. NEW YORK, ——COMMON SENSE BINDER——— FOR BINDING *LIFE: Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Cheap, Strong and Durable, Will hold 06 numbers. Mailed to any part of the United States for $1. Address, office of “LIFE,” 1155 Broapway, N.Y. <1 Lundborg’s Perfume, Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lily of the Valley. Lundborg's Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com