Life — August 20, 1885 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SUMMER At a Fashionable Resort. THEY DO THIS ALL DAY. THEIR STAY IN THE COUNTR THEY LOV LIFE, WITH PLENTY OF RCISE. THEY ARI HOW REFRESHED THEY WILL BE AFTER SIMPLE, Ww YORKERS. 103 DOUBT. ERPLEXITY'S a state that's absolutely tiring! Suppose a case: Two maids of beauty rare, Both charming, modest—brilliant yet retiring— In fact the very girls for an aspiring Youth like me. Yet tho’ a deal I care About them both, I'm hanged if I'm contented To judge between them, since they ‘ve both consented ! For if it's true that Mary's purse is lighter Than Anna's head,—then Mary's poor, indeed ! And if, again, Ann's shekels are still brighter Than Mary's eyes, they need a greater writer Than I, their tempting bril- liancy to plead. When I shall find the great deséd- eratum, Lucre or love shall be my w/tima- OUT-OF-DOOR tum. W. S. Case. SUMMER SAUNTERINGS. Il. Lonc BRANCH. Te SAUNTERER suffered so much exposure in New York subsequent to his Saratoga trip that for pru- | dential reasons he departed, as soon as was practicable, for Long Branch, having in the meantime substantiated his claim beyond the possibility of a doubt to Israelitish ancestry. The seventeen hundredth generation, in a direct line back, of the Harcourt family were heirs to a considerable acreage in the Promised Land; but, having failed to m solidity with Joshua that characterized the family’s favored followers, and is now occupied by neighbors of the late Mahdi. The SAUNTERER would like to lay claim to his | ancestral domain, but he unfortunately comes under the category of offensive partisans, and his chances are therefore null and void. The present inhabitants resent any attempt to introduce occidental customs there, and the SAUNTERER'S family, having dwelt in New York from the time of the Knickerbockers, have become so used to traditionary habits of life that to set up as a gentleman in Jerusalem in the true ain that | relations | with Moses, the Harcourt share was distributed among more | With papers proving the identity of his family as the above, it may be readily believed that the SAUNTERER’S reception | at this popular seaside resort was flattering toa degree; and although a convert to the modern, revised version of Chris- tianity, he was made perfectly at home at a hotel where it is tacitly understood and firmly enforced that no Gentile need apply. Gentility is at a discount at Long Branch. The Misses Oppenheimer, of New York, gave a German on | Thursday evening which was led by Mr. Ikey Solomons, of the great clothing house on the Bowery. The favors were very handsome and unique, the ladies receiving pawn tickets which, upon presentation at the supper-room, entitled the bearer to a plate of ice cream, and the gentlemen getting little cigarette cases with the words “ 50% off for cash” embroidered on the covers in old-gold letters. Sacred concerts are given at the hotels every Saturday morning which are very popular with the guests; the draw- ing card at most of the concerts being the concerted arrange- ment of “ Pharaoh's Daughter on the Bank, Little Moses in the Pool.” Speaking of Pharaoh's daughter reminds your correspond- ent of a significant fact. The celebrated Pharaoh Banking Institute here has been forced to suspend payment so strong Oriental style would involve too much trouble, expense, and | is the inherent prejudice of the race against the eminent Brick a very wearing variety of mother-in-law. | Merchant. comicbooks.com