Life, 1885-08-13 · page 10 of 16
Life — August 13, 1885 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page contains two unrelated satirical pieces: **"The Modern Pan"** is a nostalgic poem lamenting the death of classical mythology—Pan and nature spirits no longer haunt the world. Instead, modern society worships only money ("the God of Pelf"), leaving Pan abandoned "upon the pantry shelf." **"The Vendetta"** (cartoon) shows two wealthy men plotting petty revenge: excluded from the Boodles' party, they'll punish the hosts by simply *not attending*—presented as though it's a serious retaliation. **"Summer Saunterings II"** is absurdist satire about a gentleman (the Saunterer) who loaned a collar to a fake "Earl of Buncono." When the earl is arrested, the collar becomes "evidence of conspiracy," and the Saunterer is sentenced to thirty years—only to escape on bail through wealth and legal maneuvering. The punchline: his confiscated collar prevents his social acceptance in Saratoga, so he fashions a replacement from *newspaper margins*. The humor relies on class anxiety, legal absurdity, and the Victorian obsession with visible markers of respectability (collars).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
94 - LIFE: THE MODERN PAN. O more where finches chatter At morn he speed8 along ; N_ more the faun and satyr ‘Lrip after him with song ; No more mid river rushes rrom him the fleet nymphs hide ; No more his reed-pipe gushes At quiet vesper-tide. In vain the timid shepherd Now waits to see him pass ; No foot but that of leopard Or red deer stirs the grass, On wild Arcadian mountain Where once he wandered free; He haunts no crystal fountain Beyond the briny sea. The days of flowing kirtle Are ghosts of memory now; No wreaths of bay or myrtle Adorn the minstrel’s brow. We bow with vows and sighing Before the God of Pelf,— While Pan (poor Pan‘) is lying Upon the pantry shelf! Clinton Scollard, THE VENDETTA. 1st Old Chappie: 1 SAY, OLD CHAPPIE, YOU GOING TO THE BOODLES'’ PARTY? 2d Old C.: No. I'M NoT ‘VITED. 1st Old By Jove! NeITHER AM I, KIND OF STRANGE, EH? 2d Old C.; BEASTLY STRANGE. TELL YOU HOW WE'LL GET EVEN WITH 'EM, THO’, LET NEITHER OF us Go! SUMMER SAUNTERINGS. Il. SARATOGA, THe SAUNTERER, owing to the fact that he had loaned the Earl of Buncono acollar bearing his name, and that the same was found among the said Earl's effects at the time of his apprehension by the police of Newport, was obliged to travel zncog. for a few days, it being deduced by justice that the loan of a collar was sufficient evidence of conspiracy upon the SAUNTERER'S part. The eminent legal gentleman who had previously decided that the SAUNTERER was a va- grant, on the ground that he could not hear the silver certificate jingling in his vest pocket, likewise was of the opinion that “the subterfuge of the bogus Earl was aided and abetted by the said Harcourt, in that he, Harcourt, aforesaid, knowing that no genuine Peer of the Realm frequented good society without a collar on, did, at the hour of six P. M., on the 23d day of August, so connive with the Prisoner, the said bogus Earl of Buncono, that he, the said connivor, did then and there, supply him, the said Earl, bogusly so-called, with the necessary neck apparel, thereby ensuring his acceptance by the citizens of Newport in his false capacity, and in so doing he, the said Harcourt, was guilty of conspiracy against the public weal.” Having engaged a New York lawyer to defend him the SAUNTERER pleaded guilty of arson in the first degree, was convicted, sentenced to thifty years in the county jail, got a stay of proceedings from a rival judge, and is out on bail ad interim, and out of jurisdiction of the trying court for a somewhat longer term. This shows what wealth and influ- ence can accomplish. A much more serious matter was the retention of the SAUNTERER'S collar by the judiciary of Rhode Island, and the marking of the same so conspicuously as to render it useless save as a yachting signal, “ Exhibit B.” Our corre- spondent had based his hopes of social recognition in Sara- toga upon that collar, and it was with much chagrin that, after riding thither on a first-class cow-catcher, he was forced to enter the town with a neck as innocent of a choker as that of a new-born babe. A copy of the 7rzbune having most opportunely fallen in the SAUNTERER’S way, however, a suitable affair was con- structed from the margins, the proper stiffness being derived from some of the editor's statements which bordered thereon. Declining all proferred assistance in the shape of stage drivers, who desired to become trustees of his person for a consideration of twenty-five cents, the SAUNTERER walked to a large hotel near by and peremptorily enquired why they had not sent a private carriage to the dépét, as they had been instructed, and expressed the hope that they had not been equally negligent in saving a cottage suite for him. The gentlemanly clerk replied that no such instructions had been received, whereupon the SAUNTERER threatened to sue the Western Union Telegraph Company for breach of contract, which seemed to inspire the profoundest respect in the call boys, who nearly brushed the SAUNTERER out of the front comicbooks.com