Life — August 6, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE 83 Bopay laboriously lugged a pail into the parlor, where the family was assembled, and asked his maternal grandmother to STAT SERS AT WL | JOE te, And every time that Jimmy stooped, That bad goat knocked him out! It followed him to school one day And scared the female teacher, But she climbed quickly on a bench Where Billy could n't reach ‘er. Then when the goat was hustled out, It lingered "round the door, And, when its owner sauntered forth, Knocked him a rod or more! “What makes the goat buck « Jimmy so?” The children alf they cried, “*Cause Jimmy plagues the goat, you know!” The teacher quick replied. —Judge. “Mr. Tart! I've written some verses on my dog ; would you like to hear them?” “Oh, don’t trouble yourself to read them, Mr. Muse. Just let me know what part of the dog they are written on, and I will visit the kennel some day and read them myself.— Yonkers Gazette, kick it, ‘Why should I kick it, Bobby ?” grandma inquired in amazement. ‘Just to amuse pa,” said Bobby. ‘' He said he would give ten dollars any time to see you kick the bucket."—Zx. KEEPING WITHIN THE LAW. “Way don’t you challenge him, Colonel ?”” ** Because duelling is agin the law in this State,” replied the Colonel; but if ever I get a good chance I'll assassinate him.” —Sun, THE FISH IN JONES'S NET, Tue other night, after the thunder shower, Jones dropped in on a neighbor and found about a dozen people assembled. “ Welk well, you look cheerful after such aclose call,” Jones as he removed his hat. “ What close call?” * growled “ Why, lightning struck the barn in the alley not a hundred feet away.” “Oh, dear!” said one of the wom of my arms has been numb ever since.” ‘And it affected my foot,” said another, “ And it set my heart to palpitating.” “« And my elbow has felt queer ever since.” Every one in the room remembered to have been shocked, every one was thankful over the narrow escape. » “but I knew it. One and By and by a boy, who had been thinking deeply, gushed out : “Why, there is no barn in the alley !”" Amid the dee the boy clinched it with : “And how could there be, when there is no alley!" st silence everybody remembered this fact, and Jones had lied, but so had all the others.—Detroit Free Press. HENRY HOLT & Co. HAVE JUST PUBLISHED A new book by the author of | “My Little Lady.” Madame de Presnel. By E, Frances Poynter. 16mo. Hour Series, $1.00. Leisure Moment Series, 30 cents. Leisure Cashmere Bouquet KRAKAUER, Ladies’ Tailor and Habit Maker. 19 EAST ast ST. And Bellevue Ave. will daria, July. and achets a Senges ight texture Fruity, Dry. Dry Special, > Brut. et safety Toilet Soap. an unusually select line for spring wear, acceptable to the most refined port Would inform Ladies that he the months of June, ugust, meet the de: and for pretty, yet Inexpen- costumes, Coats, Ulsters ‘and Colens. kid at Habits are cut oa pie: ee Go, Carroll, TAILOR & IMPORTER. In view of the increasing demand for garments of elegance and HIGH CLASS STANDARD of style, at reasonable prices, we are prepared to meet the emergency with fo Has the largest sale of a7 superfine toilet soap. Perfume novel and excep- tionally strong. ROBES AND MANTEAUX, takes occasion to announce that she is in receipt of and choice novelties for Spring jammer Costumes. Out of town orders receive special atten- taste, Riding Costumes and Liveries in English Styles. tion. Perfect fit guaranteed on receipt of measurement, 232 West 220 Street, Mew Aorh. Send four cents in stamps to Colgate & Co., N. Y., for sample cake. 166 Stocth Jove, NEW YORK, ‘Sead one,two, Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. geo ee! Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. ot, N) ine wt pep i had Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Wesel a Fe dntomaeaaralia Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. es apes Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. 78 Mapison St Cuicaco. comicbooks.com