Life — July 30, 1885 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: SUMMER SAUNTERINGS. I. Newport. IFE’S special vacation editor arrived at Newport last week after a pleasant walk from New York. His arrival was the signal for a round of entertainment, the initial performance of which was a special invitation to a ten o'clock séance with a justice of the peace, who, in the absence of ‘any visible means of support, fined our representative $10. Singularly enough the fine was not remitted when the note was found to be forthcoming, the justice, with rare legal discernment, deciding that, at the time of conviction, the $10 were not visible, and that the verdict, “ Guilty of poverty in the first degree "—a heinous crime in Newport—held good. As was natural, the indulgence of such a luxury made serious inroads upon the unexpended balance at the Saun- terer's disposal, so that, instead of proceeding at once to the Oshun House and registering, it became necessary for him to seek State protection for so long a time as was necessary for him to arrange his toilet to the Bellevue avenue standard, where he had hopes of meeting a stray English lord or two with whom he had formerly had dealings when on the police force. Fortunately his hopes were not doomed to disappointment, for he had not proceeded two blocks when he recognized the features of an old-time acquaintance, Bunco Billie, who, after a ten years’ sojourn at Auburn, became transformed into the Earl of Buncono, of Dunbunco Castle, Dwyn-Kwllgos, | | the lady managers. Wales. This worthy had saved enough out of the proceeds of his last Jersey farmer to purchase a complete lord’s ward- robe and a coat of arms, on which basis the Newporters readily accepted him for what he was not—the greatest catch of the season, A nod from the pseudo Earl was enough to establish the | Saunterer’'s social position, and a visit to the post-office dis- | closed the interesting fact that his board bills for as long a time as he chose to stay in town might be regarded by him as mere airy nothings. He is now living on the fat of a cliff cottage, the property of Mrs. Smith-Jones, to whose daughter—a maiden of thirty, worth her weight in Government bonds—the Earl of Buncono is reported engaged. Some question as to the Earl's identity having arisen, the Saunterer was able to do his friend a good turn, Mrs. Clifton Seabreeze, whose daughter Marie failed to inspire the same interest in the Earl as Miss Smith-Jones, due no doubt to the superior avoirdupois of the latter's bank account, intimated that Burke's Peerage maintained a discreet silence on the subject of the Buncono Earldom, to which malignant insinuation the Saunterer replied that neither was the Earl's grandfather mentioned in the New York Directory of 1867 as vendor of clams in Fulton Market. This silenced the lady, and all questionable rumors con- cerning the Earl's genuineness ceased. The crush tea at the palatial residence of Mrs. Bilker- Norton, on Tuesday, was a great success, it being the most uncomfortably crowded affair since the famous reception on Mr. Borden Gennitt’s yacht Newmoona, when life-preservers were hung over the sides to accommodate the guests. The débutantes of the tea were the Misses Lillie and Jennie Bilker, the charming twin-daughters of Mrs. Bilker-Norton, and her first husband, the late Charles Bilker, of pork corner fame, who died two years ago. The young ladies were beautifully, yet simply, clad in dark blue foulard dresses, trimmed with ashes of cauliflower fichus a la financitore Canadienne. Among those present were Mr. and Mrs. Jub- Jub Payste, Senator and Mrs. Glewcose, of California, Brig.- Gen. Blududs, who made the best record on the retreat from Bull Run, and the Marquis of Boodleritch, the Russian Commissioner who has been sent to this country by the Czar to study Wall street methods, to be used in case the Russian Bear cares to oppose certain Bull operations now going on in Asia. A sacred concert was given at the Casino on Sunday morning, the orchestra rendering, with much skill, the Te Deum from “ La Jolie Parfumeuse ” and other sacred music from “ Nanon,” the “ Black Hussar,” and “ Don Juan.” Society misses greatly the popular young banker, G. Henry Munnibags, who was called to Canada very unexpectedly on Monday. He was to have led the German at the skating rink on Friday evening next, and in his haste forgot to leave behind him a list of the subscribers or any traces of the amounts paid. It is feared that he may not return in time to set matters straight, and rather than be exposed to such chances as the admission of persons without a proper length of pedigree or pocket, the whole affair has been given up by More next week, Cholmondeley Harcourt. N. B.—Have just learned that the Earl has been recog- nized by the police and has mysteriously disappeared. Will leave for Saratoga this evening. CH. THE ROOT OF ALL GRIEF. HERE'S a woman at root of every one's grief, The wisdom of time avers ; The woman at his, be he chiel or chief— The other woman at hers. Katharine E, Conway. SUMMER BRIC-A-BRAC. I N F. Anstey’s latest story, “The Tinted Venus” (Apple- ton’s), there are shown remarkable ingenuity in con- struction and fresh humor, mingled with satire, which is as keen as it is delicate. That the grotesque absurdity of an antique statue, coming to life in modern London and falling in love with a hair- dresser, is successfully carried through almost two hundred pages of never-dull narrative, is a token of the unusual quality of Anstey's inventive genius. comicbooks.com