Life — July 30, 1885 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

67 SNOBBISHNESS. OR an example of toadyism, pure and | simple, not only to the aristocratic circle in which his lot has been cast, but to the almighty dollar which jingles in the coffers of the Tribune, | we refer our readers to G. W. Smalley’s account of Cyrus W. Field's Fourth of July dinner. After enthusing over the nobles one is always sure to meet at a Field dinner, he says of a tele- gram from President Cleveland : “ The President's answer to the message sent him deserves to be set as a study in com- position in the higher schools of the United States. I dare not say we all understood it as it was read out.” Like enough! It not infrequently happens— especially among English- men at dinner—that the mind becomes too fuddled to understand what the eyes, much less the ears, bring to the senses. And when a man like Smalley finds himself on drinking terms with a real, nickel- plated Duke, we cannot wonder that he should be Young. Wife: HERBERT, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO GLOOMY AND SAD NOWA- | So intoxicated with joy DAYS? YOU NEVER WERE SO BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED. that his brain, not of great Herbert; WELL, YOU SEE WE ARE ONE NOW, AND I AM NEVER HAPPY WHEN I'M | scope at best, should be- ALONE, come befogged. guests leisure for a champagne supper on the bowsprit, with- out which no yacht race is complete. In crossing the deck to get a better view of this machine the Sport fell into a large hole, which struck him as being more of a swimming-bath arrangement than anything else, but which a subsequent examination showed to be a cabin for the crew to drop into when the cutter came about. This became necessary on account of the size of the sails, which are made seventeen times as large as the boat itself, in order to present a greater surface to the wind, bringing the boom but six inches above the deck. It was a matter of wonder to the Sport as to what was done with the bellows upon such occasions, but the captain explained that by touching a spring they were very easily “blown off,” an explanation which is doubtless apparent to -all nautical men. The Sport, with a pained look of mystification, considered this reply as somewhat discouraging to further investigation, and took his leave, having first noted that the little vessel was supplied with all such modern advantages as a movable keel, telescopic masts, and a rope to pull herself along with in case all other appliances should fail. Concerning the voyage across the Atlantic the crew were very reticent. This, one of the officers explained by saying that there had been but a grave mishap en voyage, which arose from the fact that the ballast was made up of English plum- pudding, the only thing heavy enough in the English market, | except copies of Punch, which were too expensive, which comicbooks.com