Life — July 16, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: NO DISCOUNT. E held her hand. Said he: ‘‘To share My life with you I should be glad.” Said she : ‘* I think I could not spare The time.” Said he: ‘t You make me sad.” Said she: ‘* I’ll love you as a brother ; Not wholly blighted shall you pine.” “Thanks ; but,” said he, ‘‘ somehow or other Inever cared for that in mine.” —Rochester Union. “Pa,”said Johnny Caution, ‘‘do lawyers wear armor ?” ‘No; of course not. What put such an idea into your head ?” “Why, I see in the papers every day that lawyers file their suits, and I——” The reader will appreciate the delicacy which impels us to change the conversation and not go out into the woodshed with the rest of the party.— Pittsburg Chronicle. THAT SAME OLD-FASHIONED DIFFICULTY. SoBER PASSENGER (angrily)—‘‘ Look where you step, man !” Tipsy PASSENGER (apologetically)—‘‘ Y-yes, I do; the tr- trouble is to—hic—step where I look.”——Harper's Bazar. A THE difference between William Pitt and Lord Randolph Churchill is that the former was prematurely old while the latter is prematurely young.—Providence Fournal. THE BITER BITTEN. “Lap, you know that brass thing the feller gin me for my trunk there at the depot ?” “Yes,” «Well, ’t wan't nothin’ but brass, was it ?” “ No, I’spose not.” “Good! Wa'al, I tucked it on to that hackman back there for a quarter, and he went off satisfied.” Jonathan found out what kind of a game he had played when he saw the hackman present his check and take his trunk from the baggage master, in spite of his own loud protestations that it belonged to him.—Harfer's Weekly. AH ! but it is so different in this country. landed gentry. No, here we call them emigrants.—Lampoon, Fair MopistE: ‘‘ Vell, Mistaire Younghusband, vere is de bon-nette zat your vife vished me to alter?” YouNGHUSBAND (excitedly): ‘Great Heavens, madame! I cannot tell a lie. I had that confounded bonnet in my vest- pocket—right in here where I carry postage-stamps. And— and at lunch to-day the thing fell out into my soup. I believe I've swallowed it | Do you hear? Swallowed it! Get up a fac- simile, can’t you ? there’s a dear girl, and tell if I shall live to get home ?— W, End Bulletin. A LITTLE miss noticed the gold on her aunt's teeth, and ex- claimed in flattering admiration : ‘‘ Auntie, dear, I wish I had copper-toed teeth like yours.”—Boston Beacon, Here you have no HENRY HOLT & Co. HAVE JUST PUBLISHED A Mulhonaive's Cousin, By THE Hon, Emity Law ess, Author of “‘A Chelsea Householder.” 16mo. Leisure Hour Series, $1.00. Leisure Moment Series, 25 cents. Cashmere Bouquet KRAKAUER, Ladies’ Tailor and Habit Maker. 19 EAST 21ST ST. N.Y. ‘And Bellevue Ave., Newport. Would inform Ladies that he will during the months of June, July and August, meet the de: mand for pretty, yet inexpen- sive, Costumes, Coats, Ulsters and’ Jackets In Serges and Stylish light texture Woolens. y Riding Habits are cut on the most improved safety prin- ciple, and are unsurpassed fo Style’ and fit—nelther dg they drag nor stuck up." Ine TAILOR & IMPORTER. In view of the increasing demand for garments of elegance and HIGH CLASS STANDARD of style, at reasonable prices, we are Toilet Soap. Has the largest sale of any superfine toilet receipe of vet erfume novel and excep- and Summer soap. tionally: strong. tion, F measurement, Send four cents in stamps to Henriette ROBES AND MANTEAUX, takes occasion to announce that she is_in choice novelties for Spring coe Out of town orders receive special atten- Perfect fit guaranteed on receipt of 232 West 12d Street, New York. prepared to meet the emergency with an unusually select line for spring wear, acceptable to the most refined taste. Riding Costumes and Liveries in English Styles. 166 Siccth Sbve., NEW YORK. & came, Colgate & Co., N. Y., for sample cake. Sendone, two, Y three or” five retail box, by express, of the Best Candies Tm the world, put up in hand- some boxes. All strictly pure. Suitable for presents. Try itonce. Adds €°G. GUNTHER, Confectioner, 78 Mapison Sr., CHIcaco. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose, Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com