Life, 1885-06-25 · page 4 of 17
Life — June 25, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page Analysis: Life Magazine, Issue 354 This page contains satirical commentary rather than political cartoons. The "Lines on House Cleaning" poem mocks a gentleman preparing for sea travel while his household falls into disarray—his wife cleans obsessively, destroying his possessions and workspace in the process. The satire targets domestic dynamics and the chaos of spring cleaning. The right column offers brief witty observations: Moody's supposed unsuitability for a religious convention; Chinese emperors' pronoun usage; Victor Hugo's vanity; and jabs at various public figures including President Cleveland for base ingratitude toward the *Times* newspaper and the Western Union Telegraph Company superintendent. These are light satirical observations typical of Life's humor—social commentary rather than serious political critique.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LINES ON HOUSE CLEANING. DEDICATED TO GENTLEMEN ABOUT TO EMBARK ON THE SEAS OF HOUSE KEEPING. HEY filled with tacks his shaving mug, And took his new silk hat, And filled it up with bric-A-brac Of this kind and of that. They placed the portrait of his love Upside down in its frame, And topsy-turvy turned the desk On which he worked for fame. They took the carpets off the floor, And shook them on the lawn; His new dress suit they treated with Contumely and scorn. And just because he ventured to Protest and strongly hint, “ That he'd be ——" well, we hardly think Just what looks well in print, His family quite indignant got, And swore they ‘d all see to it, Next time the house had to be fixed, Himself would have to do it. His cuffs were wand'ring Lord knows where, His shirts he could not find, And off his new embroidered vest They 'd evidently dined. His collars covered up with dust, His neckties just as bad, And all the shine rubbed off his boots ; But why at this be mad ? Of course he had no reason for His anger when at night, He had to sleep upon the lounge, And whistle for a bite. For houses all must cleanéd be Ere June has reached her orbit, And when man feels his passion rise He'd better—just absorb it. DISPATCH from Rome states that the Pope has ap- pointed Mgr. Sullivan Bishop of Mobile. A Is Sullivan the Mg’r any relation to Sullivan the Sl’g’r? OODY, the revivalist, was asked in the recent conven- tion in Milwaukee whether he had grace enough to die at the stake. He replied: “No, I don't need it; all I want is grace enough to hold this convention for three days in Milwaukee.” It is evident from this that Milwaukee bier is good enough for Moody. . . . CONTEMPORARY says that the Emperor of China never uses the pronoun “I,” always alluding to him- self as “ the solitary man.” There is nothing remarkable about this. The Indian chiefs always referred to themselves as “ Big Injun,” and Messrs. Blaine and Gladstone were accustomed to make their wants known as, “ Plumed Knight wants this,” “ Grand Old Man wants that,” etc. Besides, there's always some peculiarity about a China- man’s I's. * . * F all the stories of Victor Hugo’s vanity are true, he should be re-christened Victor Ego. PICTORIAL SHAKESPEARE. VERY LIKE A WHALE.—Hamlet, . . . | fee Superintendent of the Western Union Telegraph Company at Chicago rejoices in the name of “ Tubbs.” He must have charge of the Watered Stock Department. . . . R. ROACH has found this summer weather very try- ing. He is said to consider the Secretary of the Navy “too D—phin-icky.” . . . PRESIDENT CLEVELAND has been guilty of base ingratitude to the Times in sending Rev. Dr. Alden to Italy. Dr. Alden’s daily sermons will be greatly missed by an | appreciative public.