Life, 1885-06-25 · page 10 of 17
Life — June 25, 1885 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Grammar vs. Morals The cartoon satirizes misplaced parental priorities. A mother corrects her son Georgie's grammar—insisting he say "Tommy and I go" instead of "Me and Tommy goes"—but fails to address the actual moral problem: the child has just confessed to stealing grapes from someone named Roney. The joke is that the mother celebrates his corrected grammar with a kiss, treating proper speech as more important than honesty or theft. This reflects turn-of-the-century anxieties about education emphasizing form over substance, and social pretension overriding ethical values. # Weather Report Section This is satirical commentary on commercialism. The Signal Service Bureau proposes inserting paid advertisements into official weather reports at varying rates—charging less during fair weather (when few consult predictions) and more during uncertain weather (when everyone seeks forecasts). A specimen report follows, with tongue-in-cheek product placements embedded in weather descriptions. The satire mocks the era's creeping commercialization and the willingness to monetize public services.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE GRAMMAR vs. MORALS. Georgie: MAMMA, ME AND TOMMY GOES OVER TO RONEY'S AND STEALS GRAPES. Mamma (shocked at his grammar): WHAT, MY SON! SAY THAT AGAIN, Georgte: ME AND TOMMY GOES OVER TO RONEY’S AND STEALS GRAPES. Mamma : SAY THAT ONCE MORE, GEORGIE, YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT. Georgie (scowling): TOMMY AND J GO OVER TO RONEY'S AND STEAL GRAPES. Mamma (triumphantly): THAT'S RIGHT, GEorGIE; THAT'S RIGHT. (Késses him.) AN UNDISCOURSED DISCOURSE. HEN Mr. Eve Stelkins recently addressed the students of the Missouri University, at Columbia, owing to lack of time he forgot to deliver the following paragraph which belongs in his speech : “ Fear the Greeks even when they offer you presents; but always take the presents. Honesty is the best policy—as a general thing. Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth—for when you get older you will have to devote your whole attention to ward-meetings, ballot-box manipulation, and money-making. He that. steals my good name steals trash ; but he that steals my purse does that which will profit him exceedingly and leave me poor indeed. You can often make hay when neither the sun nor moon is shining. The best time to pray for rain is when the wind is right. Covet not thy neighbor's horse, nor his ass, nor his ranch, nor his farm ; but buy them all from him at half price and sell them back to him at a profit of three hundred per cent.” THE MIDDLE OF JUNE. LONE at the sea-shore theimiddle of June ! Even the waves sing a doleful tune ; “World without men, ah me!” they say, Sprinkling the rocks with their cold salt spray. And the winds in the pine-tops sigh and moan: “What is she doing here al apne poy Oh! who cares for rocks ben no “rockers ” are near ? Of what use is the sea where no yacht sails appear ? The river 's a bore, with its ebb and its flow, When there ’s never a man.to take'one out to row ; And who wants to look, alkalone, at the moon? Oh, the sea-shore is dismal the middle of June! There's the stage—a’portmanteau—it must be a man! Surely ‘tisn’t? it can't be? It is and it can! “On his way. up the coast—mother wants place to board— Thought I might have come early—” (He Anew it—the fraud) “Just stopped off for a day—the chance so opportune—" | Solitude—a deux-'s charming the middle of June ! M.H.G. WEATHER REPORT. SIGNAL SERVICE BUREAU, a \; ~ WASHINGTON. ASABE of the unexceptional advantages of our weather Teports as an advertising medium, and being desirous ‘of adding to the conscience fund, this. bureau has decided to henceforth insert advertisements in each of its reports, at rates varying with the different conditions of the weather, #.¢, a minimum charge during fair days, when comparatively few consult our predictions ; and a special rate during uncer- tain, unfavorable weather, when every one eagerly scans our prognostications, A specimen report, with accompanying advertisements, will show the weather searcher that his interests will not suffer by our turning an honest penny in the way proposed. [SPECIMEN.] For the Middle States, fair weather (during which the infant can be atred in one of Brown's Duplex Sliding Seat Baby Carriages), variable winds (which McJimsey's Triple- Plated Weather Vane ts always on hand to record); slightly warmer in northern portion (where De Long's Fly- tyme Ulsters can be found at all the stores); stationary temperature in southern. portion. (NOTE.—Atkinson's note paper and envelopes should always be used when the tem- perature is stationery.) For New York and Philadelphia, the weather will be at a standstill, excepting in the upper wards (See “ The Cloudshire” Apartment House. Hot and cold bedrooms, non-sqgueakable elevators, etc.), where there will be heavy storms, followed by light local rains (Paragon Umbrellas reduced to $2.13). Sliding temperature and high winds, Sollowed by a little of everything ; and another weather re- port in fourth edition Journal, 2 cents. comicbooks.com