Life — June 18, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: CHINESE candidate for baptism proved his understanding of the Christian doctrine of love and forgiveness in the following catechism : ‘ If you were attacked on the street,” he was asked, ‘* by one of the bad men who persecute you and call you names, and if he were to throw a brick at you and it should cut your head and make the blood flow down your face, would you love that man?” The Chinaman answered, as quick as a flash ; “I would love the man, but I'd hate the brick." — Water- bury American, ; TEACHER: ‘*So you can't do a simple sum in arithmetic, Now, let me explain it to you. Suppose eight of you have to- gether forty-eight apples, thirty-two peaches and sixteen melons, what will each one of you get?” “Cholerer morgus,” replied Johnny Fizzletop, who is addicted to that malady.— Texas Siftings. GETTING THINGS MIXED, Her head was pillowed on his breast, and looking up in a shy way she said: - “Do you know, dear George, that— “You mean dear James, I think,” he interrupted, smiling fondly at her mistake. “ Why, yes, to be sure. this is Wednesday evenin, ‘How stupid I am, I was thinking 349 By the way, what has become of those anonymous books which were so extensively advertised, gratuitously and otherwise, a little while ago? We refer to ‘‘ The Buntling Winners” and ‘ The Bread Ball."—Norristown Herald, THEATRE MANAGER: “I can 'tuse your play, sir. It’s too long for the stage. English Amateur Playright—‘‘ But I say, aw, look here, aw, can't you lengthen the stage, you know ?”—Mew York Journal, Cares R, THORNE used to tell the following story : ‘* Dur- ing avery bad performance of ‘Hamlet’ by a barn-storming party in one of the interior towns of New York State, the audi- ence in its entirety commenced to hiss with the exception of one man, At last the man next to him said: ‘Why don’t you hiss this tart show? ‘It wouldn't hardly be fair,’ he said, ‘as I came in on a complimentary ; but if they don't do better p soon, d—d if I don’t go out and buy a ticket and join you. Argonaut Storyette. THE FLIGHT OF TIME. YounG FEATHERLY (to hostess); ‘* You have children, have B.?* " Oh, yes. I have a boy seven years old, and alittle girl of five.” Young Featherly (astounded): ‘*I declare, how time flies! It does n't seem possible that you have been married twelve years.” —The Sun, Tue following quaint epitaph on husband and wife—the hus- band having died first—is to be seen in one of the Parisian ceme- teries: “Tam anxiously expecting you—A. D, 1827." “Here I am—A. D. 1867,"—Zx. Hewry Hott Bio. Have Fust Published: COLLECTED ESSAYS Political and Social Science. Cash Bouquet KRAKAUER, Ladies’ Tailor and Habit Maker, 19 EAST ast ST., N.Y. And Bellevve Ave. Newport. mere By WILLIAM GRAHAM SUMNER, Professor of Political and Social Science in Yale College. 80. $1.50. CONTENTS. Bimetalism. Wages. The Argument Against Protective Tariff. Sociology. Theory and Practice of Elections. Presidential Elections and Civil Servics Reform. Our Colleges before the Country. Md ©. Canal TAILOR & IMPORTER. In view of the increasing demand or garments of elegance and HIGH CLASS STANDARD of style, at reasonable prices, we are prepared to meet the emergency with an unusually select line for spri wear, acceptable to the most refined taste. Riding Costumes and Liveries in English ‘Styles. 166 Siccth Sove., NEW YORK. Toilet Soap. Has the largest sale of any superfine toilet soap. Perfume novel and excep- tionally strong. Send four cents in stamps to Colgate & Co., N. Y., for sample cake. French.-German.-Spanish. YOU can, by ten weeks’ a erty be Rick §. Tia prilege of satett to fection of exerci Sample copy, Meisterschaft Publishing Co., Boston, Mass, Box 2275. no tHE BEST PICTURE OF GENERAL GRANT. A finely executed steel engraviog of U.S. GRANT, eae y Gagler, and printed on Beary plate paper: sire ‘Vadia provés, $3.9» Plain proofs, ed vean on reve re. AGENTS, WANTED fveral terms will be given. For feyms, ete, apply to CLEAVES, MACDONALD & CO. 45 Tunrun Pu, Boston, MASS. ‘all questions, and cor- part lascta Liberal ROBES AND MANTEAUX, takes occasion to announce that she'is_ in receipt of very choice novelties for Spring and Summer Costumes, 2 Out of town orders receive special atten- tion, Perfect fit guaranteed on receipt of 233 West 229 Street, Mew York. GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL -LIFE- INK. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lundborg’s Perfume, Lundborg’s Perfume, Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Maréchal Niel Rose. Alpine Violet. Lily of the Valley. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com