Life, 1885-06-04 · page 10 of 16
Life — June 4, 1885 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This Life magazine page contains three satirical pieces mocking various social issues: **"The Landlady and the Wild-Eyed Poet"** ridicules impoverished bohemian artists who offer excuses instead of payment. The starving poet claims he'll pay with "posthumous fame," so the landlady sarcastically agrees to feed him "posthumous hash"—worthless promises instead of real food. The satire targets romantic notions of struggling artistry. **"Wail of the Conservative"** attacks religious conservatives opposing a revised Bible translation, suggesting they're clinging to archaic language for tradition's sake rather than clarity. **"The Resting Men's Protective League"** is the main satire, mocking labor unions by proposing an opposite organization protecting the idle and lazy. It ironically praises idleness as a virtue, suggesting inventors of labor-saving devices deserve honors, and that muscular men should be expelled from membership. The satire critiques both excessive labor activism and social parasitism—suggesting that organizing to protect laziness is as absurd as the union movement itself appears to the author.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE. SP>e Loa THE LANDLADY AND THE WILD-EYED POET. LANDLADY having presented a Wild-Eyed Poet with a board-bill, he said with an ineffable up-turned gaze : | “Madam, it is a season of great political excitement and business depression, so I must pay you in posthumous fame.” “Very good,” replied the Landlady ; “hereafter I shall feed you on posthumous hash.” Then the Wild-Eyed Poet went mournfully away to the pawnshop, bearing his third-hand over-coat as a sacrificial offering to the necessities of the emergency. Morat.:—This Fable teaches that a young poet usually draws more inspiration from his landlady than from his sweet- heart; and that Irish Bridget and Senegambian Hannah take the championship belt from Daphne and Phyllis as the hand- maids of modern poesy. WAIL OF THE CONSERVATIVE OVER THE REVISED VERSION. HE “ pictures of silver” they 've taken away ; The “ scape-goat ” has lost its effect ; The “ treacherous” path is now “ ragged ” they say ; And “ fools mock at sin” they reject. Job's wish that his foe had but “ written a book” Now savors of court-room and cell ; But their claims on the good-will of men they forsook, When they interposed “ sheol ” for —— well! ——. | made obsolete. | treasurer, or in details of an official character. THE RESTING MEN’S PROTECTIVE LEAGUE. “The feather bed's the noblest work of man."—Lucuétus, “cc HIS working between meals is what's killing me,” says Mark Twain; and a mighty mass of men nod a glad assent, as they murmur “ me too.” It is this par- ticular class of males that we now propose to consider. The laboring men, all round the world, are protected by. powerful leagues, which watch their interests with Argus eyes ; while, on the other hand, the great throng of resting men journey on through life with positively no protective influences about them; no organization, no unity. The laboring man grows fat under the care that regulates his wages and hours, while the resting man has to cope, single- handed, with a meddling world that is constantly, persist- ently and viciously trying to shorten his periods of health- giving ease, This being the case, it is now proposed to surround the resting man with the same advantages that are enjoyed by his working brother, and, henceforth, to place alongside each local Knight of Labor, a Knight of Rest organization. Thanks to enlightenment, slavery is disappearing from the | face of the earth, and but a single trace remains in civilized lands, viz: The Workhouse. To the total extinction of this | monstrous curse the league must devote its waking hours. Another mission for the league is to have the word “lazy” “A weary man” is a much less vulgar form of expressing it. Inventors of labor-saving machines should be made honor- ary members, and he who can make sleep easier ought to be crowned. Any man whose muscle is developed must be ineligible to membership. The officers of the league ought to be in triplicate—three | presidents, three treasurers, etc., etc.—so that not any individ- ual will have too much continuous work, as presiding officer, Their first duty will be to watch any encroachments by the world, and when it is found that members are having too little rest per diem, they must order a general strike. Prof. Borne Tyred, who has just completed his tour around the world, will deliver a lecture, entitled : “The Tired Men of History”; and, at the completion of each discourse, will consider the practical starting of this new organization— “The Knights of Rest.” Let all friends of the cause gather under this motto : WORK. “* Man wants but little here below, Nor wants that little long.” Wallace Peck. “ MONEY makes the mare go;" but the obligation is recip- rocal, for nothing makes money go like mares. New TITLE FOR WOLSELEY.—“ Past Grand Com- mander.” comicbooks.com