Life — May 7, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

T HAT pleasant month of Spring is sprung, Strawberries now shoot forth, The weary tramps for work unstrung From balmy South scoot North. The festive bivalve hails with glee ‘The month without an R. To Coney’s Isle the weary flee, Or sail hence o'er the bar. The insect revels on the breeze That blows him from N. J. Hay fever starts its annual sneeze In budding, flowering May. But we, alas, must cuss our luck As rushing ail about, We pack our duds upon a truck And on the tst, move out! . * * ES, William, the Prince of Wales did show the white | feather in Ireland. Three of them, in fact. . * . PICTORIAL SHAKESPEARE. “LOOK TO 'T!” * + . PR MOSELY has discovered that some of the Chit- onidz have as many as 11,000 eyes. What a time a weak-eyed Chiton must have cleaning his | 5500 pairs of spectacles every morning before he can read his newspaper ! . . . WO Kansas City newspaper men exposed a medium recently by squirting aniline dye on the face of a ma- terialized spirit. The spirit’s peculiar actions after the squirtation was proof that he had n't dyed before, and was therefore not a dona fide spook. HE Fish-Ward motto ought to have been, “ Dividing we stand, united we fall.” . . * HE demand for maps of the Seat of War has become so large, and owing to the number of seats so compli- cated, that a War Map Company has been started in thiscity. To avoid confusion, maps may be had by ticket only, and all tickets must be in the same general form as the sub- joined : sUNIVERSAL+ARENA * THIS TICKET IS SIMPLY A PERSONAL LICENSE ENTITLING THE HOLDER 10 ONE SEAT, OF WAR. | The same to be designated on Coupon, THE MANAGER RESERVES THE RIGHT | To declare the War off at convenience. zoov “MOGHOD SIHL NIVLaY Saag piesa eIG Lda Z MOU NVISSNU-OTONV + . * N Italian by the name of Toselli has invented a sub- marine vessel capable of penetrating to a depth of 250 metres. He is ‘way behind the Yankees in this respect. The U. S. Navy can sink as far down as any patent boat afloat, and not half try. * . . IFE BEATER: No, the revival of Whaling does not refer to the whipping-post. If it did, you would perhaps be less obnoxious to-day. GLIMPSES OF PARADISE. T was only a few hours ago that this old gentleman ar- rived. She, however, has been here a long time. More than twenty years ago he jilted her, but the other girl ($400,000 in her own right), went back on him, and he has been a bachelor ever since. The old flame rekindles at the sight of his first love, but she has made other arrangements. comicbooks.com