Life — May 7, 1885 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

VOL. V. MAY 7TH, 1885. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office. Vol. I., 50 cents per number ; Vol. II., 25 cents per number; Vols. III. and IV., at regular rates. Rejected contributions will be destroyed unless accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope. HE ancient trout law, which provided that the season should not open until April 1st, has been changed so that the speckled beauties are not de rigeur until May 1st in all counties but Queens and Suffolk. Why the Queens and Suffolk County trout are to be | favored thus we cannot see. There can be no moral end achieved by prohibiting other old and respected trout families the luxury of the luscious, though deceptive fish-hook, while Long Island’s favored few | revel in the flippant fly. What justice is there in giving the inhabitants of Suffolk | County brooks precedence at the tables of our first families, to the utter exclusion of the plain, but honest natives of the Adirondack rills ? Or if the Adirondack trout should reach the tables of the rich before the first of May, what principle of law requires that they be obliged to travel incog. on pain of arrest, while their Queens County cousins flaunt their speckled troutish- ness in their very gills with impunity. Our legislators must beware lest a long-suffering fish- lineage take fins against their oppressors and carry a relent- | less warfare into their very homes, endowed as they are with the arts and bones wherewith to grasp all tyrants by the throat. . . . NDEED, was not Justice herself somewhat culpable in that she landed a Fish, of no small importance, long before the first of May? . . . HE cry is, still they come! Johnny French having tired of his flat, stale and unprofitable war upon pig- tailed Celestials, now seems anxious to join forces with Russia against her old-time adversary, pig-headed John Bull. Here is a glorious chance for France to rise from extin- guishment to distinguishment. At the same time it must needs be a very warm rise, if rise it be at all. With Germany on one side, England off the coast of the a ow < 2 Pra FR at an idea that a blast furnace will be about as comfortable for the touring purposes of the American dude as La Belle France this summer, if sides be taken by her. It is better to go along quietly as a nobody than to be somebody at the expense of a sound thrashing. * * . pyres of Barren Tennyson's latest poetic fizzle, we do not wonder that the mob's million feet wished to kick You-You out of office. You-You was a sort of Chandler, ordering fleets and such national institutions. It would really seem, however, that less than a million feet would suffice for the purpose, but the poet has evidently introduced this number to impart a dim grandeur to the last line : “ But then too late ! too late 1" If a million feet could not make up for lost time, the tardi- | ness of the case must, indeed, have been sublime. . + . HE New York Hera/d suggests the probability of Eng- land’s instituting a “ paper blockade” of the Baltic Sea, in the event of war with Russia. It might have gone further and recommended the British Government to try files of the 7rsdune for the summer of "84 for blockading purpose: We would ourselves likewise offer a hint to the World. Those fifty thousand daily returns which the 7rsbune inti- mates sometimes get on the market by mistake, might be sold | to the blockaders at a nominal price, the proceeds to go to the World's Pedestal Fund! Thus might the 7rzbune and World pool their differences in regard to circulation, and become important factors in the impending war. . . . FRENCH engineer claims to have patented a new re- fractory brick, Just how this is a benefit to a civilized world we cannot say. The man who patented refractory mules has long since been handed down to oblivion, and we sincerely trust this dissatisfied mortal who, not content with the perversity of bricks on all occasions, had to patent a new one, capable, no doubt, of being carried in a hat, will soon find his own level in obscurity. . . . \ E may not be a military people, but a visit to the Academy of Design will convince the most de- praved pessimist that courage is no stranger in our land, Courageous is too weak a term for many of the N. A.’s who display for public examination the kind of “art” they are other side, and the usual French mob on the inside, we have | willing to produce. comicbooks.com