Life — April 9, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE - ‘a SeISSORS AT NVLL§ ES, I am the boss of the sandy Scudan, And I hardly think a more competent man Could be found between Tennessee and Japan To bounce the British invader. I'm a twelve-fingered, bow-legged son-of-a-gun ; I'ma prophet from ‘way back—a child of the sun, I'm a dandy, a lol-lab, a darlin’, a hun'— I'm a red-headed ripper and raider. My followers number two million or more, ‘And every man of ‘em’s equal to four ; They ’re not much for style, but they 're dandies for gore— They ’re bad men from Keshir-el-Wadir. El Gordon I 've captured, I 'm happy to state ; El Stewart has met his well-merited fate ; I'll butcher El Wolseley, if he'll only wait, And Queen Vic. will think luck has betrayed her. So strike, shirtless sons of the shimmering sand, One more blow for your prophet (that's me, understand) — Disembowel the insolent infidel band ! Vivisect the infernal invader. —Minneapolis Tribune. 209 SECRETARY OF NAVY WHITNEY—‘'I''ve come to take charge of the Navy. Where is it ?” WatcHMan—' I'm , Sir, but I don’t know ; I've only been here twelve years.""—Puck, AN Alabama editor winds up an editorial on the corn crop with the remark ; *‘ We have on exhibition in our sanctum a pair of magnificent ears."—£x. ON a certain occasion Mr. W. R. Travers was in a stage going up Fifth avenue, and his son, W. R,, Jr., who was then a ve Stnall boy, was sitting on bis knee,-the stage being very crowded, A lady got in and there was no seat for her. Mr. Travers, with his usual gallantry, said to his son: ‘* B-Billy, g-get up and give the l-lady your s-seat."— Town Topics. AN INTERNATIONAL EPISODE, A GERMAN went into a restaurant, and as he took his seat an Irish waiter came up and bowed politely. ** Wie Geht's ?” said the German, also bowing politely. “ Wheat cakes !"" shouted the waiter, mistaking the salutations— for an order. \ “ Nein, nein !’’ said the German. . “Nine?” said the waiter.‘ You 'll be lucky if you get three.” —New York Sun. THROUGH the telephone : ‘Is that you, doctor?” “Yes, who is it ?" “Mrs. Merony. 0, doctor, what shall I do for baby? He C has swallowed a dime.” ™\ “* Well, you surely do n't want to spend $2 to get a dime, do youre: And the telephone ceased to work.—Newman Indepen- _ fent. — HENRY HOLT & CO. HAVE READY AUSTIN DOBSON'S At the Sign of the Lyre. Square 12mo, uniform with the Author's VIGNETTES IN RHYME. $2.00, Cashmere Bouquet | JACQUES KRAKAUER, Lavtks' Tatton anv Hasrr Maker, 19 FE. aust St.. Ne and Bellewne Ave., Newport. Has received the latest povelties from London and Paris for traveling, walking and yachting costumes. Also a very fine line ot Representative German Poems, The original texts, with close English versions, by various translators. Edited by KARL KNorTzZ, 8¥0., $3.50. French.-German.-Spanish. YOU can. by tea weeks’ study, master either of these lan gvages sulfcicatty for every-day and business conver- sation. by Dr. Rich. $ Rosenthai's celebrated M&IsTER- AM.” Terms, $5.00 for books of each lan- guage, with privilege of answers to all qzestions, and cor- sex Sample copy, part I, a5 cts. Liberal Terms to Teachers. Meisterschaft Publishing Co., Boston, Mass, Box 2275. Ablfeed G. Carroll, TAILOR & IMPORTER. In view of the increasing demand for garments of elegance and HIGH CLASS STANDARD of style, at reason- abe prices, we are prepared to meet the emergency with an unusually select line for spring wear, acceptable to the most refined taste. Riding Costumes and Liveries in English Styles. 166 Siccth Sove., NEW YORK, Toilet Soap. Has the Jargest sale of any superfine toilet soap. Perfume novel and excep- tionally strong. Send four cents in stamps to Colgate & Co., N. Y., for sample cake. THE GENUINE FRANK B.CONVERSE THE FRANK B. CONVERSE Banjo Instruction and Salesroom, 61 West 4ad Street, New York. ——COMMON SENSE BINDER—— FOR BINDING *LIFE: Cheap, Strong and Durable, | Will hold 6 numbers. Mailed to any part of the United States for $1. Address, office of * LIFE," 1155 Broapway, N.Y. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Spring Styles in goods suit- able for Riding Habits, Ulsters and Jackets. Mr, Krakauer gives his personal attention to each cf his patrons, Orders from out of town attended to without delay, A perfect fit guaranteed with- out personal attendance. Henriette Frame, ROBES AND MANTEAUX, takes occasion to announce that she’is in receipt of very choice novelties for Spring and Summer Costumes. Out of town orders receive special atten- tion, Perfect fit guaranteed on receipt of measurement, 232 Weot 22d Street, Mew Worh. GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH Luodborg's Perfume, Lundborg’ Alpine Violet. "s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. OUR SPECIAL -LIFE- INK. comicbooks.com