Life, 1885-04-09 · page 10 of 16
Life — April 9, 1885 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Rip V. Winkle (Restored)" - Political Satire This sketch satirizes rapid social and political change in post-Civil War America. An elderly man emerges from 30 years of seclusion to find everything transformed: his family dead, old houses demolished, and James Buchanan (15th U.S. President, 1857-1861) no longer in office. The humor targets bewilderment at modernization—the man's reference to Buchanan dates him to the pre-war era. The "fashionable restaurant" replacing familiar landmarks symbolizes how commerce erases the past. His consolation that his property increased in value—despite personal loss—is darkly comic social commentary on how capitalism values real estate over human relationships and memory. The sketch riffs on Washington Irving's "Rip Van Winkle" (1819), which featured a man asleep for 20 years. Here, the adapted title suggests America itself has awakened to a radically different nation.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*LIFE-: POETICAL IMPECUNIOSITY. T gathering dusk I sit-and muse, Where fountains play and music thrills, And wonder if I can enthuse My soulful soul to pay my bills. Alas! I fear such thoughts are vain, For though in bliss my fancy rolls, This fact is always cold and plain, Hard cash eludes the soulful souls. W.J.D. ON MAKING EVENING CALLS. S soon as a young man of modest means buttons him- self up in a suit of the newest cut fresh from the tailor’s, he has serious thoughts of making a few evening calls. A ¢é¢e-a-¢éte with a pretty girl is a delightful pastime from which he may derive mental stimulus, if put to his foils. It is well, however, to know how to comport oneself under the trying exigencies of an evening call, Etiquette prescribes that an ulster should be removed, par- ticularly if it be a shabby one, but the hat and cane may be carried in the hand. A dripping umbrella should never be brought in the drawing-room and stuck in the cuspidor. Overshoes must not be hung on the bell-pull nor steamed on the register. It is not considered in good taste to carry a lighted cigar in the hand. If the cigar is but partially consumed, it may be left outside on the coping. After sending up his card, a young man assumes more or less risk in scrutinizing himself in the glass, and adjusting his scarf-pin, or smoothing down the laps of his coat. A female form may suddenly emerge from behind a screen or portiére, and he will wish that he might slip through a trap in the floor. If the ends of the mustache are inclined to droop, he should point them with wax beforehead, rather than remove the glove and twist them with his fingers. He should assume a graceful posture on entering the room, | and never cross his legs, twirl the buttons on the sofa, suck the head of his cane, nor beat a tattoo on the crown of his hat. Ifa maiden aun remains in the room it is best not to ignore her entirely. Always enquire after her parrot, and venture a few original remarks on the weather. As to the length of the call, one should be guided by cir- cumstances. Never remain after twelve o'clock. If the head of the family hobbles down-stairs and asks you to stay to breakfast, take the hint and go. | restaurant on the other side of the street. The crucial test is making a graceful exit. Back out by imperceptible degrees, with less the air of a retreat than that of forced withdrawal, reluctance being expressed by the movement of the legs, which should be as dignified as pos- sible. It is best to go directly home and not stop for a night-cap. HV. S,. A Hus PuncH—One of J. L. Sullivan's. RIP V. WINKLE (RESTORED). «66 (ONE, all gone,” murmured the aged man feebly. “wife, children, friends—all gone.” “Gone where?” asked a sympathetic listener. “Dead,” replied the venerable party, weeping. “I have inquired for them all, but have been uniformly referred to the cemetery as their present address. Even their old houses are, in many cases, torn down to make room for newer structures. A gentleman told me just now that James Buchanan was no longer president, and ——" * But where on earth have you been for the past thirty years?" inquired one of the crowd that had gathered about him. “In there,” said the old man, pointing to a fashionable “In there, taking lunch.” A sympathetic silence fell upon his listeners, many of whom had been there. “ But there is one consolation left me,” said the legacy of the past, brightening up a little. “ During my long sojourn my property increased in value to such an extent that I was able to pay the check. That 's something.” Then his mind seemed to fail him, and he babbled of some error in the change. Suddenly he cried,—“ Oh, how beauti- ful. They are bringing in the cheese. The end—at last!" And thus, happily, his patient spirit drifted out into the great henceforward. F. E. Chase. comichooks!