Life — March 26, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE- 181 ie = ? Ir was a Boston newsboy who startled a car full of people by saying that the man who had bet $1,000 that Cleveland would never see Washington alive was likely to win his bet. And when they all cried out, ‘* Why ?” he blandly replied : ‘Because Wash- ington died too long ago."—Boston Transcript. Are AT §el CAUSE AND EFFECT. $: A GEORGIA lady has a squash 115 years old which is valued at £4 100. This shows, says the New York Graphic, how much wiser GFE hercoming Mow she places it is to keep your squashes 200 or 300 years instead of working Face so cunning, 3} Squarely oi them up into pumpkin pies. It Pays better in the long run, Form so neat. The orange peel ; : Carriage graceful, Slips upon her THE INPANT UNDER THE SOFA, Figure straight, Well-formed pate ; “What would I do were you to die?” said a lady to her hus- Lovely Vassar Awkward Vassar band, who had just purchased a sealskin sacque for her. ‘Oh, Graduate. Graduate. come off !” said the eight-year-old hopeful, ‘'you 'd marry that old na Se codger you kissed when pa was asleep on the sofa."—Zvansville See it lying Flying garments Argus. On the walk, Then disclose Some one will Pretty foot, Upon it stalk. Exquisite hose. Orange peel Dude is mashed, Is on the wait And sees his fate ! For the Vassar Sly old Vassar Lire must be very pleasant on the Congo, Instead of a man having to rush home at 4 P. M. to give his wife four hours’ time to prepare for the opera, and then wait another half hour on the front steps until the two hundred and odd forgotten things are found and arranged, the Congo husband strolls home a few min- Graduate. Graduate. utes before the performance begins and simply says: ‘Sarah, —Detroit Journal. | adiust your hairpin. We will go to the opera."—Pittsburg Nor long ago a gentleman advertised in The London Morning | Chronicle- Telegraph. Post, requesting the return of his cape, which he charitably ex- j : plained had been taken by mistake. Evidently the request was | _ IF London newspapers used American headings, this is about unheeded, for in a few days afterward the following notice ap- | the way some of the reports from the seat of war would lead off : peared : ‘Hang it! What do you mean by not returning my | ‘Another Brilliant Victory—The Rebel Hordes Crushed—Five cape? You took it, you know you did, on Thursday last, Janu- | English Generals Bravely Die with Their Faces to the Foe—One ary 29th. Send it to No. 105 Onslow Square at once.” Arab Badly Scared."—Philadelphia Call, HENRY HOLT & co. |. Cashmere | JACQUES KRAKAUER, HAVE JUST READY Lavies’ Tatton ann Hasir Maxer, Dobson's at the Sign of 19 £. 2st St. N.Y.,and Bellevue Ave., Newport, : Has received the latest the Lyre. Bouquet Rp sethantes ‘s, Paris for traveling, walking Square 16mo, uniform with the Author's and yachting costumes, VIGNETTES IN RHYME. $2.00. | Toi | et Soa p. | cae shar ane tne Chanson's de Roland. | Has the largest sale of any superfine toilet | Pept vrd tee Translated by Lfonce RABILLON of Johns | soap. Perfume novel Hopkins University. 16mo. (Library tionally strong. and excep- Mr. Krakauer gives his of Foreign Poetry.) $1.25. personal attention to each F h ish Send four cents in stamps to ef his patrons. rench.- ish. | { Orders from out of town ench.-German.-Spanish. | coigate & Co., N. ¥., for sample cake. silendad oor ekhoct{deinys YOU can, by ten weeks” study, master ether of these lan- A perfect fit guaranteed. Freages suticently for every-day and tasineas conver: — SCuaby’ svsvum.” Tras $yco for books of each lan. : Zuage, with privilege of answers to all questions: aad cor: No one can furnish freice el ecerses Sample Copy. part ease Mclsterecheft Publishing Co., Boston, Mass, “ Old Crow " Rye | FRANK B CONVERSE. Box 2275. “dbtfeed G, Careoll, Sour-Mash Whiskey TAILORIEANPORTER unless purchased from us. . cone z We have taken every barrel In view of the increasing demand 5 for garments of elegance and niow made since Fanuary, 1872. CLASS STANDARD of style, at - — a abe: prices: we, aie! prepaied to want We have also HERMIT-| the ‘emergency with an unusually | AGE four to seven years | GEO. MATHER’S SONS select line for spring wear, acceptable to the most refined taste, old, all sold absolutely pure, RINTING INK THE FRANK B. CONVERSE Banyo Instruction and Salesroom, 61 West 42d Street, New York. Riding Costum id Liveri i English'Styles "S|" | encolored, unsweetened. 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. Cf: H. B. KIRK & CO., . 4 66 Siccth Jbve., 69 Fulton St. & Broadway and 27th st. | THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH NEW YORK. g WARREN STREET. OUR SPECIAL -LIFE: INK. comicbooks.com