Life — March 12, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: 153 PAT SeKSORS A’ absent husband telegraphed to his wife: “I send you a kiss.” He received as a reply: ‘Spruce young man Called and delivered the kiss in good order.” A MONTHLY journal published in Paris is devoted to nothin, but the art of ‘stamp collecting.” There are quite a number o! daily and weekly journals in this country devoted mainly to the same thing; but some of them lose more ‘‘stamps" than they collect.—Norristown Herald. RECAPTURED. ieraete (to applicant for service)—'* How many nights out a week ?” Applicant—‘ None, mum. Oi nivir sthir out.” Mistress—‘‘ Will you have many friends to see you Applicant—‘‘ Nat wan, mum. Oi have no friends.” Mistress—‘* What wages will you expect ?” Applicant—‘* Oi'll lave that to ye, mum.” Mistress—** What kinds of housework are you willing for?” Applicant—‘'Oi'm willin’ to wash an’ airun an’ cook an’ schrub an’ clane windys an’ wait on table an’ taike care av childer an’ carry in coal an’ build faires—" (Here a loud ringing was heard at the door, and the keeper of an asylum rushed in and secured the lunatic.}—Mew York Sun. HENRY HOLT & CO. HAVE READY The Rise of Intellectual Liberty, FROM THALES TO COPERNICUS. A His- | bad tory. By Freperic May Hottaxp. 8v0. $3.50. | Toi | et Representative German Poems, Ballad and Lyrical. The original texts with English Versions, by various translators, soap. Perfume nove tionally strong. on opposite pages. Edited by Kart KNARTZ. 8v0., $3.50. YOU can, by ten weeks’ study, master either of these lan Cashmere - Bouquet Has the largest sale of soy superfine toilet = Send four cents in stamps to French.-German.-Spanish. Colgate & Co., N. Y., for sample cake. A MILD sort of merited libel : ‘Well, how were the ladies dressed ?” was asked at one of the clubs of a member who had just come from a very fashionable dinner party. “ My dear fel- think of looking under the table."—New York Tribune, ‘*See here,” said the managing editor, kindly but firmly, to the young man who had just come to do the fires and dog-fights and assume general charge of the entire paj * you must be a little more careful in your grammar and spel ‘ou make too much trouble for the compositors and proof-reader. You say in this article ‘he had went’ and ‘we have never saw.’ Then you spell ‘separate’ with two ps and four ¢s, and you say ‘we have come to the conclution’ and that ‘we are horrafide at the bear ideea.’ Now, you must be more careful and—"” “Aw well, look here, Shorty,” cried the new young man; “‘give afellow achance. You got to remember Ive been in college for eight years, and have n't had a chance to learn any- thing.” The managing editor forgave him, and promoted him to the carrier department.—Brooklyn Eagle, HE KNEW HIS FATHER. “Now, Johnnie,” said the teacher, “If your father borrows $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in seven weeks?” **One hundred dollars,” said Johnnie. “I'm afraid you do n't know your lesson very well,” remarked the teacher, “I may not know my lesson very well,” Johnnie frankly ac- | knowledged, ‘* but I know my father."— 7imes. | JACQUES KRAKAUER, | Lapuss’ Tattor ax Hasit Maxer, 19 B.atat St, N. V.sand Belleone Ave., Newport. Has received the latest novelties from London and Paris for traveling, walking and yachting costumes, Also a very fine line of Spriog Styles in goods suit- able for Riding Habits, Ulsters and Jackets, Mr. Krakauer gives his personal attention to each cf his patro..s. Orders from out of town attended to without delay. A perfect fit guaranteed. Soap. and excep- guages sufficiently for every-day and business conver: sation, by Dr. Rich, S. Rosenthal's celebrated MuISTER- SCHAPT SYSTEM. Terms, $500 for books of each lan- . with privilege of answers to all questions, and cor- | Fection of exercises. Sample copy, part I, aycts. Liberal Terms to Teac! Meisterschaft Publishing Co., Boston, Mass, Box 2275. Tfd G. Carroll TAILOR & IMPORTER. In view of the increasing demand for garments of elegance and HIGH CLASS STANDARD of style, at_reason- abe prices, we are prepared to meet the emergency with an unusually select line for spring wear, acceptable to the most refined taste. Riding Costumes and Liveries in English Styles. 166 Siccth Aove., NEW YORK. the will last otx Rabtile removes: Mus, M.B.T, Por sale AS sald toe ledy of the haat ton | seagate a ceetasrcera the least barmfal of all the Skt ns THE GENUINE FRANK B.CONVERSE FaSS| THE FRANK B. CONVERSE | Banjo Instruction and Salesroom, 6: West 42d Street, New York. un ie GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL -LIFE: INK. i i iE pa i fe ad i a E es & comicbooks. low,” he replied, “I really don’t know. The fact is I didn't com