Life — February 26, 1885 — page 2: what you’re looking at

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FEB. 26TH, 1885. NO. 113. 1155 Broapway, New York. Published every Thursday, $§ a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office. Vol. I., 50 cents per number ; Vols. II., III., and IV., at regular rates. Rejected contributions will be destroyed unless accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope. WE are glad to notice that the eminent suffragistess, Mrs. Blake, the wife of our esteemed friend, Mr. Lillie Devereux BI. has been elected Presidentess of the Woman's Suffrage Association of New York. The distinguished lecturess is undoubtedly better qualified for the office than any one of the numerous other candidates whose names were presented. Miss Susan B. Anthony, who, as is well known, declined the distinguished honor of first place on the National ticket last | Fall, owing to h isi sition to the United | all: owing to her uncompromising opposition to the United | | ind in life, that when he dies he had best stay dead State, a principle so nobly adhered to through the many years of her Miss spent life, was chosen Vice-Presidentess. The platform adopted for the coming year was : Resolved, Man isa helpless creature who cannot feed him- self. With this principle it is certain that the suffragistesses will upon the ladies and ask that some measure be taken whereby we may avert the impending disaster ? For instance, would it not be the correct thing to state to | the ladies : We have the ballot, you have the ability to feed. Teach us how to feed ourselves, or feed us. In return take the ballot! A fair exchange is no robbery, and a good, honest swap of this sort would prove of incalculable benefit to the whole world, * * * T seems now that General Gordon is really dead and that unlike most heroes who die in battle, he was shot, stabbed, drowned and in sundry other manners summarily deprived of life. The moral of all this is clear. In his lifetime the Soudan hero managed to die at least once a fortnight, which showed him possessed of a most appalling number of lives, and when it became necessary for the Mahdi to make sure of his victim it is not to be doubted that he was fully prepared with every variety of death wherewith to remove the obnoxious Englishman. From all of which it is plain that a man should make up | and not go fooling around with more lives at his command than he knows what to do with. If Gordon had followed this principle and stayed deceased when mortality first appeared in his system England would | have been spared much expense, and many brave men would carry all before them, and that ere the sun of 3010 dawns | upon the horizon of the future, ballots and ballotesses will be united in one grand undying universal female suffrage. And if the history of the past can be considered a criterion for the history of the future, Dr. Mary Walker, Susan B. Anthony and Anna Dickinson will be found at the polls on that date ready to cast their maiden votes. . * * N the meantime it will not be a bad idea for helpless man to look around to see what he can do in his own behalf. The ladies who have adopted the resolution aforementioned have most unfortunately overlooked the necessity which compels man to eat. Many of us have in early youth con- tracted the pernicious habit of eating, and in our manhood find it impossible to break away from its thraldom for the happy fastnesses of starvation. Our friends, while observing that we cannot feed ourselves, make no provision for remedy- ing this defect in our education, and we are threatened with | the direst of all plagues, famine. Now, would it not be well, in the interests of starving man- kind, to appoint a committee of gentlemen who shall wait not have found their final resting place in the African desert. * . . R. AUGUSTIN DALY is doing the theatregoers of this city an inestimable service by his vigorous war- fare upon that theatrical curse, the ticket speculator. We suggest that a medal of some kind be presented to the well-known manager by an appreciative public, for his efforts in their behalf. We gladly contribute a design, which will be found upon another page. * * . OW that Lent has come, El Mahdi should knock off his False Profits and realize on his new ones, lately obtained from his friend, Gladstone. As for the latter gen- tleman, he has undoubtedly sworn so much off and on during the past month, that the season affords him no opportunity for anything further, except, perhaps, the giving up of the reins of government. * . . ape Odontological Society's dinner last week was a grand success, and to the credit of the profession be it said that up to the time of going to press not a single tooth has been reported as having succumbed to the machinations of a Martinelli menu. comicbooks.com