Life — February 19, 1885 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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This paper is printed with our cut ink, 7 YOUNG MEN !—READ THIS. Tue Vortatc Batt Co., of Marshall, Mich., offers to send their celebrated Evecrric-Voutaic Batt and other E.ecteic Apptiances on trial for thirty days, to men (scans of old) afflicted with nervous debility, loss of vitality and manhood, and all kindred troubles, Also for theuma- tise, neuralgia, paralysis, and many other diseases. Com- lie restoration to health, vigor and manhood guaranteed. fo risk is incurred as thirty days trial is allowed. Write them at once for illustrated pamphlet free, No brass band can play as many airs as a drum-major can put on,— 7id-Bits. No ong knows how often Rebekah went to the well before she caught on.—Chronicle- Telegraph. “ Wuat is the stuff that dreams are made of ?” passionately inquires a poet. In one brief word, sir, pies.—Ex, At the mouth of a Cornish mine there is this advice Do not fall down this shaft, as there are men at work at the bottom of it."—£r. AN incident which has occurred in the experi- ence of a preceptor will doubtless recur repeated- ly in the experience of other preceptors. Ac- cording toa book, “ In the year 1847-48, potatoes formed the sole food of the Irish peasantry.” A schoolboy ‘read this passage as follows: ‘In the year 1847, forty-eight potatoes formed the sole food of the Irish peasantry.” Be careful in com- piling school books.—£-x. “Tommy,” said a fond father to his little boy, who had received a linen-mounted book of pic: tures as a present, ‘‘ what are you crying for?’ ‘Because I can't tear my picture book, papa,” was the ingenuous reply. TimpLy PRECAUTION.—Officer: ‘* Why di you strike my dog? He only sniffed at yo Visitor: ‘* Well, captain, you don't expect me to wait till he has had a taste of me, do you ?"— Fliegende Blatter. A Samp.e or Economy.—A : '* Look at old Pfennigfuchser, the banker. How queer he walks; what long strides he takes!" _B: “That's his stinginess.” A: '‘Stinginess? Nonsense !" B: 'Itis nothing else. He does it to save his shoe-leather."—De Sobremesa, UseFuL PRECAUTIONS.—A restaurant keeper has just opened new premises. Great variety of dishes to select from, wines and dessert, for four francs. He has taken the precaution to add at the foot of his circular: ‘* A medical man is in constant attendance." —AMictles de Paris, MEASURING SworDs.—* So they had a row, eh?” ‘Yes; for all the world like a couple of costermongers."" ‘* Well?” “They agreed to measure swords.” ‘And then?” ‘ They meas- ured them,-as they had determined.” ** And which of them got hurt?” ‘Neither: they found them too long !"—Za Crénica, In the eighteenth century the Government granted commissions to such Highland chiefs as raised a certain number of men for the army, An English officer who had been sent into the High- lands to receive recruits, inquired : “* Where are the volunteers?" “All safe," was the reply. “They are tied up in the barn."—Svotch Joke. AMUSEMENTS, Dp" THEATRE! THE RECRUITING OFFICER. HOU, OPERA HOUSE. BURLESQUE. ILES & BARTON, - Lessees and Managers, 162d to 163th PERFORMANCE. RICE a bert, Mr. Matinees Wednesday & Saterday. & DIXEY'S BIG RURLESQUE COMPANY. d Mr, HENRY E. DIXEY, in the fascinating spectacular burlesque nightmare, ADONIS, with its’ wealth of novelties. THE KNIGHTS IN ARMOR. ROBINSON CRUSOE’S FRIDAYS. Mr. RICE’S new songs. “IT'S ENGLISH, YOU KNOW,” and “THE WALL STREET BROKER,” tumes, effects, &c. Seats Secured Three Weeks In Advance. New Cos- THE BOOK FOR PRACTICAL PEOPLE. Mersterschaft System BY DR. RICHARD S. ROSENTHAL. A wonderfully simple and practical method, ena- bling any one to learn, with scarcely any effort, to speak fluently and correctly SPANISH, FRENCH, AND GERMAN. ak from the very first lesson in long and connected sentences. Exact pronunciation given. All exercises corrected and all difficulties ex- lained free of charge. 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