Life — January 15, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE: ORY AT NvLLv§ * AT SEISGORS AT NvLLv AS Arizona paper of recent date contains the following personal paragraph: ‘Larry Chugwhistle, the popular and gentlemanly baker of Sun Up Corners, departed for the great majority yesterday. We trust he has gone to the land where baking is unknown.” TEXAS PACIFIC FIGURES, He had a dozen rat-traps slung over his shoulder as he prom- enaded up New street in search of customers, and when asked the price he replied : ‘* Down—way down, Rat-traps have fol- lowed the Wabash and you can take your pick for fifty cents.” “Bat that 's too high:” “Well, being as Western Union has shrunk you can take it at forty-five.” ** Too high.” «What ! Well, I must follow New York Central. forty.” ‘Come down,” “Say, mister, do you want arat-trap at Texas Pacifiic prices?” asked the old man, Vhat are they?” “Why, you take a rat-trap for nothing and I'll give you a quar- ter to buy cheese with!""— Wall Sirret News. We 'll say Tey reproach an aged milionaire with his miserly practices. “Here you are, a wealthy man, and yet you put out your ash bar- rel every day with your own hands, to save afew miserable sous!” **You are right; it is hardly the thing for a man in my positionto do, Hereafter I'll make my wife do it."—From the French, At ANOTHER sad blow to the “lightening messenger.” _ “Sonny, goto the undertaker's and tell him my wife just died, and vo come right away. Now, promise me that you will deliver this before the funeral takes place."—Puck, WHAT ONE MISPLACED LETTER DID. Tue Red Bluff Sentine/ made this startling announcement one dey last week : ‘The prayer meeting at the M. E. church will be hell to-night.” This typographical error made a good many peo- ple believe that something remarkable was to take place at the meeting, so the church was crowded, The officiating brethern, greatly encouraged by the large audience, were inspired to elo- quence, and the result was that thirteen converted persons united with the church.—Los Angelos Express, “LEenp me your ear a minute," remarked Mrs. Brown to her husband the other evening. ‘ Will you give it back to me ?” he inquired with mock anxiety. ‘* Of course I will, you idiot! Do you suppose I want to start a tannery?” She got the ear.—Mew York Graphic. “ “Tf my employer does not retract what he said to me this (morning I shall leave his house.” ‘Why, what did he say ?” “* He told me I could look for another place."—£-x. A mendicant approached a Westchester man on the cars the other day and said: “* Dear sir, I have lost my leg,” to which the Westchester man replied, as he hurried away : “ My dear friend Thave not seen anything of it."—Zx, LADY BRASSEY'S| NEW BOOK. In the Trades, the Tropics, and the Roaring Forties. | Elegantly illustrated with nearly 3<o wood en- One of the most sumptuous books of travel ever issued. gravings and ten maps and charts. Toilet HENRY HOLT &CO.,N.Y. ——COMMON SENSE BINDER—— FOR BINDING “LIFE: i Cheap, Strong and Durable, Will hold 26 numbers, Mailed to any part of the United States for $1. | Address, office of “ LIFE,” 1155 Reoanway, N. Y. d ALFRED T. CARROLL, i TAILOR Axo Purivixs as well as No ether coemetic 1} IMPORTER 166 Sixth Ave., NEW YORK. Invites attention toa new and select stock of unusually yp |choice fabrics, for Gentlemen's Prom- enade and Evening jonas SS. Riding Costumes and Livery Ourfits in English Styles. tues the same, Cashmere Bouquet Send four cents in stamps to Colgate & Co., N. Y., for sample cake. ‘A SKIN OP BEAL FY 18 AJOY FOREVER. | oT, Goursed’s Oriental Cream’ or Magical Beautifier itbout 7. GUURAUD, Bole e ‘Drogriets and the U, 3, Canadas ot 01.005 Reward foe arrest end proof of any JACQUES KRAKAUER, 29 £. aust St, N. V.,and Bellevue Ave., Newport, Would respectfully an- nounce to the Ladies that “he will make SPECIALLY LOW PRICES, from date to February rsth, in order to keep his large force of specialists fully em= ployed. N. B.—This announce- ment is strictly limited to the period named. Special attention paid to toall orders sent by mail. A perfect fit guaranteed without personal attend- ance. Soap $5 PER VOLUME WILL BE PAID FOR 5. certain first editions of Hawthorne, Poe, Whittier, and other authors. For list addi BOOK BUYER, P. O. Box 376, New York. - THE GENUINE FRANK B.CONVERSE THE FRANK B. CONVERSE Banjo Instruction and Salesroom, 61 West 42d Street, New York. OUR SPECIALTIES. Ricuty Bound axp Ittusteateo Girt Booxs STANDARD AMD MISCELLANEOUS LITERATURE. Stationery ror Fasmionante Society. Wenvinc, Racrrtion axb_Visitinc Caxps. Pictorial ENGRAVING ON Stet PLaTes. GEO. R. LOCKWOOD & SON, Publithers, Booksellers, Stationers & Engravers. @12 Broadway, New York, itary tothe nord Bt, N.Y, N.Y, Bicy Googe Dealers tong, Beware cf comicbooks.com