Life — January 8, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: : ANT SEISSORS AT NvLLy OLICEMAN : “Have you a permit to play here 2” Organ Grinder : ‘‘No, but it amuses the little ones so much.” Po- liceman : “ Then you will have the goodness to accompany me.” Organ grinder: “ Very well, sit ; what do you wish to sing ?”— Fligende Blactter, AN OPPORTUNITY FOR REPOSE, AT acountry hotel: A traveller retires to his room, leaving word that he is to be called for an early train. In the morning he is aroused from a sweet sleep by the porter knocking vehemently at the door. “‘ Who’s there ?” “* Are you the gentleman that was to be called for the 5.15 train?” “©Yes, All right.” “Then you can go to sleep again, sir; the train’s gone! "— French Fun. IMPRACTICABLE, JupcE (¢o witness): ‘‘ Repeat the prisoner's statement to you, exactly in his own words. Now, what did he say?” Witness : “My Lord, he said he stole the pig——” : Impossible! He could n’t have used the third per- 27 Witness : ‘‘ My Lord, There was no third person !”” ige : ‘‘ Nonsense ! I suppose you mean that he said, ‘ I stole the pig?!” Witness (shocked): ‘Oh, My Lord! He never mentioned your Lordship’s name !” | [Dismissed ignominiously !—Punch. AN ACCOMPLISHED ACTRESS, THEY were discussing amateur theatricals. “We would give the play if we only could have a storm scene,” said the stage manager. “*T think I can help you out,” suggested Mr. Brown. Brown can take that part.” ‘Why, I did n’t know Mrs. Brown could act. the storm scene can she play?” “She can play thunder."—Graphic. “Mrs. What part of AN AWKWARD COMPLIMENT.—Lieutenant (to elderly lady) : “Mevrouw [madam], really to-day you look as fresh and bloom- ing as a rose of twenty years.”—Hertogenbossche Courant. A FIRM in Japan is about bringing out a work called the “«Meifin Titcu.” Why one of those things was not brought out years ago has always been a mystery to us, We don’t see how the Japs managed to get along without it.—Vorristown Herald. “ THE Biggs (Cal.) boys,” according to the Boston Star, ‘ get their pocket money by killing chickens with stones and selling them to the Chinese laundrymen.” What is to prevent the boys from selling the stones to the Chinamen before they kill the chickens ?—Graphic. ‘THE PUBLISHERS OF LIF OFFER UNUSUAL ADVANTAGES TO THOSE WHO PROPOSE ISSUING ILLUSTRATED Books, PAMPHLETS, CATALOGUES, CIRCULARS, ETC., AND WHO DESIRE WORK OF AN ARTISTIC ORDER. ESTIMATES GIVEN, AND BOTH TEXT AND ILLUSTRATIONS FURNISHED IF DESIRED, LADY BRASS EY’S NEW BOOK. In the Trades, the Tropics, and the Roaring Forties. Elegantly illustrated with nearly 300 wood en- gravings and ten maps and charts. One of the most sumptuous books of travel ever issued. A BEAUTIFUL GIFT BOOK. Price, $5 00. HENRY HOLT &CO.,N.Y. “The Best Practical Art Magazine” Is The Art Amateur, which gives, monthly, from go. 44 folio pages of working designs (with full instructions), illustrations and information relating to decorative and pictorial art. Invaluable to ama- teur artists. Home Decoration & Furnistixc. Advice Free.) Instruction in China, Oil and Water-color Painting, Wood-carving, ‘Etching, Dress, &c. Art Needle-wor® Designs from the Royal School, South Kensington, a specialty. The Art Amateur includes among its con- tributors Theodore Child, Clarence Cook, Edward Strahan, Roger Riordan, Camille Piton, Benn Pit- man, Louise McLaughlin, Constance C. Harrison and Mary Gay Humphrey: Subscription, $4.00 a year; 35 cents a number. Specimen copy 25 cents, if this advertisement is mentioned. MONTAGUE MARKS, Publisher, 28 Union Square, N. Y. (Expert HOLIDAY EXCURSIONS. There has been no advance in the low passenger rates on the New York, West Shore & Buffalo Raii- way. The elegant passenger coaches and magnifi- cent Pullman Buffet Parlor and Sleeping Cars con- | tinue to excite the admiration of the thousands of | travelers who are now patronizing the West Shore | | Route. Patrons of the West Shore Route are guar- anteed the lowest rates to all points in New York, New England and the West. Excusion Tickets are sold between all stations and are good to return any | time within thirty days, Call at Nos. 363 or 946 | Broadway, New York, for reliable information, time- tables and lowest possible rates. Cashmere Bouquet Toilet Soap. Send four cents in stamps to Colgate & Co., N. Y., for sample cake. | JACQUES KRAKAUER, 29 £. ast St., N. ¥.,and Bellevue Ave., Newport. Would _respect- fully announce to the Ladies that he will make SPECIALLY LOW PRICES from date to Feb. in order to his large force of specialists fully employed. IN. Be This an- nouincement “Is Strictly limited to iheperiod named. Special attention paid to. all orders Sent by mail. A perfect fit guaranteed without personal attendance. THE GENUINE FRANK B.CONVERSE THE FRANK B. CONVERSE Banjo Instruction and Salesroom, 6x West 42d Street, New York. OUR SPECIALTIES. Ricuiy Bouxp np In.ustratep Girt Books STANDARD AND MISCELLANEOUS LITERATURE. STATIONERY FOR FASHIONABLE Society. Weppinc, Reception axp VisiTinG Carps. PicrortaL ENGRAVING ON STEEL PLATES. GEO. R. LOCKWOOD & SON, Publishers, Booksellers, Stationers & Engravers. 812 Broadway, New York. comicbooks.com