Life — December 18, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

N OTHING exasperates a woman who has been shading her eyes from the gaslight with her hands all the evening, so much as to find that, after all, she had left her best diamond ring on the washstand.—W. Y. Dial, A DAUGHTER’s DEVOTION. “No, George, our engagement must be broken. failed, you know.” “When did your father fail ? turning pale. “He failed yesterday, and is very much prostrated in conse- quence. My whole time must be given to him now. He needs my undivided care and attention, and though it may break our hearts, George, we must part forever.” “Noble girl,” thought George, as he hastily grasped his hat, and with his broken heart went out into the night.—Zx, Father has T had n’t heard of it ?” he said, 1T WAS N’T HIS HEART. “T HOPE you will bea better boy in the future,” said his mother. “Yes ’m,” sobbed the boy. “T guess you will mind your father next time he speaks to you.’ “Yes m.” “Poor boy!” she added sympathetically, ‘did he touch your heart ?” “*No’m.”—Drake’s Traveller's Magazine. 355 HE DOES NOT PLAY NOW. “T used to be fond of poker,” he said, and the expression on his face became retrospective ; ‘‘but sence I gut four aces downed out in Missoury, I hev sorter gi’n up playin’ the game.” “ Vour opponent had a straight flush, did he ?” “* No; he had five jacks.” “That ’s impossible.” i “ Stranger, hev you ever played poker in Missoury ?” “No, sir.” ks Well, if you ever set down in a game out thare, and a red- eyed man whose clothes smell of cattle, quietly whittles a corner off the table with a bowie-knife, and allows that he hez five jacks, justine your kiards in the pack and say, ‘That’s good! Ex. “*GEorGE,” asked the teacher of a Sunday-school class, “ who, above ali others, shall you wish first to see when you get to Hea- ven?” With a face brightening up with anticipation the little fellow shouted ‘‘ Gerliah.”—Zx. ANOTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT IT, THEY were walking locked-arms all over a New York street. “ Sho you 're ’n fav'rov pro’bition, are ye?” “‘Vesh, lam. I think s’loons is a curse t’ the community.” “And you'd shut up ev'ry s'loon, would ye?” * Yesh, shir, ev'ry blamed on! “Waal, shay, then Il you jes’ tell me where this country ’d git all its aldermen fm?” “Tha’s so, by jiminy. Hadn't looked at it f'm that point o° view. Guess mebby the country hain’t quite ready fur pro’bish'n yet.”—Chicago News. WHEN a Prohibition President is elected a national salute will be fired through ahose-pipe.—_Wheeling Register, ‘THE PUBLISHERS OF LIFE OFFER UNUSUAL ADVANTAGES TO THOSE WHO PROPOSE ISSUING Books, PAMPHLETS, CATALOGUES, CIRCULARS, ETC., AND WHO DESIRE WORK STRATED. OF AN ARTISTIC ORDER. ESTIMATES GIVEN, AND BOTH TEXT AND ILLUSTRATIONS FURNISHED IF DESIRED. LADY BRASSAY’S NEW BOOK In THe Trapes, THE TRopics AND THE ROARING ALFRED T. CARROLL, Fortigs, Elegantly illustrated with nearly 300 wood en- gravings and ten,maps and charts, One of the most sumptuous books of travel ever issued. A BEAU‘IFUL GIFT BOOK. Price, $5.00. For sale at leading booksellers. HENRY HOLT &CO.,N. Y. ASKIN OF BEAU LY 18 AJOY FOREVEP.. . T, Felix Gourand’s Oriental Crenm or Magic PURIFIES aswell as Bosutifios the Skin, No other cosmetic will doit, A. Sayre, said pe ‘a lady of tho. hhautton Sopatient) indi wif uso tem, recommend “Goursud’y the feast hare fal of all tho Skin Preparato ‘tle will last six months, using it e Hubtleretmoves os For sale by all Draj thronghou? the Ura base imita‘ions, 1,000 ne elling the sames Tailor and Importer, 166 SIXTH AVENUE, NEW YORK. Invites attention to a new and select stock of unusually choice fabrics, for Gentlemen’s Promenade and Evening Dress. Riding Costumes and Livery Outfits in Eng- lish Styles. GGRMERE B0Uay. GOLGATE & CO. : : ‘ 7OlLeT SOP: Color—white. Quality—absolutely pure. Washing properties—unsurpassed. Perfume—novel & exceptionally strong. With the tasteful and refined it is the, most popular of all superfine toilet soaps. WINDSOR MANOR Uiny Tims, Gherkins, Stuffed Mangoes, East India Gherkins, Martynlas, Onions, &c. Sold by all First Class Grocers. THE GENUINE FRANK B.CONVERSE THE FRANK B. CONVERSE Banjo Instruction and Salesroom, 61 West 42d Street, New York. OUR: SPECIALTIES. Ricuty Bounp anp ItiustratRp Girt Books STANDARD AND MisceLLangous Literature. STATIONERY FOR FasHionasie Society. WeppinG, Reception AND VisitinG Carps. PicrortaL ENGRAVING ON Steet PLates. GEO. R. LOCKWOOD & SON, Publishers, Booksellers, Stationers & Engravers. 812 Broadway, New York,