Life, 1884-11-27 · page 10 of 16
Life — November 27, 1884 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "That Narrow Walk" & "The Fall of Man" **Top poem**: A lighthearted piece about a narrow footbridge or boardwalk where two people can walk side-by-side and converse intimately, but a third person cannot fit—creating romantic tension. The accompanying illustration shows a couple walking together while a child sits alone below, suggesting exclusion and flirtation. **"The Fall of Man" essay**: Satirical commentary on women's increasing social and professional advancement. The author mockingly predicts women will dominate as "the coming man"—working as theater ushers, bartenders, doctors, lawyers, and barbers. The satire targets contemporary anxiety about women's expanding roles by exaggerating them absurdly (women carrying pistols, getting drunk, neglecting housekeeping). The piece ends darkly: men retain power only because they were given "a few million votes"—suggesting suffrage expansion threatens male dominance entirely. This reflects late-19th/early-20th century fears about women's rights and changing gender roles in American society.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THAT NARROW WALK. | i wide enough for two to walk ; And never room for three. Just close enough for two to talk ; ‘Two narrow boards a foot apart— The cause of many a fluttering heart, As any one might see. Ah, wicked walk ! Ah, tricksy walk ! Just close enough for two to talk. H, A. FREEMAN. THE FALL OF MAN. HIS is not a dissertation on the earlier portion of Gene- | sis. The account given by Moses satisfies all our yearnings on the subject. Some of our readers may have heard of it as well. We would explain that by the “Fall of Man” we wish to intimate that man is old-fashioned and played out. He is now the inferior creature. He was form- erly the Leader and Boss of the universe, for he himself hath | said it, and frequently. Now he knows better. Woman is the coming man. Petticoats, instead of implying dependence, must now be looked on as the flags of the dominant party. In our theatres they are introducing female ushers. Females will now “set ‘em up again,” as the bar-tender of the future is to be a woman. Woman will make love to her congrega- tion as a parson, and occasionally elope with a big boy asa class-leader. As a Doctor she will feel your pulse and empty your pockets. As a lawyer she will either prosecute or de- fend you. She will of course carry a pistol, and after having learnt to keep her eyes open when firing it, will doubtless empty it into a friend during a maudlin state of cloves; if ar- | rested, she will whine and snivel and declare she didn’t know it was loaded in the usual lying, manly manner. If she be solid with an alderman or polititian, this plea will not be ne- cessary ; she will plead over stimulation, or quinine, and be ac- quitted, just as her superiors have been let off for years. Af- ter a ten-dollar spree, she will reel home and hiccough out cuss-words at the poor housekeeping man’s extravagance in indulging in ten cents’ worth of candy, or other ruinous waste. Some of the silliest women will wear tight clothes and learn to suck their parasol handles with a placid. calf-like look of enjoyment that images have naturally and only Dudes can imitate. Woman has long held man by the nose figuratively. She now does it actually while shaving him. She has also learnt to take the hair off his head tonsor- ially and artistically, abandoning the old-time method of yanking it up by the roots during the course of an argument. Man will be tolerated about the house to do chores, build fires, and go out dollar earning and to the store. But for a few million votes having been indiscreetly given the foremost man in all this realm might have presently been a woman. comicbooks.com