Life — November 6, 1884 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: AUTUMN LEAVES. BOUGHT DEAD IT FROM THE AN’ OL DIDN'T KNOW THEY LEAVES! THERE MUST BE MONEY IN WAY LOIKE SHE'S DHRESSED. had my clerk make two copies and send 'em off. I gave them no more thought until Monday morning, when I was scissoring the dailies for the sermons of the day before. In the 7#me-Ser- ver there was a notice that the eloquent Dr. of Boston had preached Sunday morning at the ——th street church, and then followed a good digest of that infernal sermon. In the Nonpareil there was a similar notice that Dr. of Chicago had appeared in the same church Sunday evening, and there was that sermon hashed over again. Oh, yes, there was a note to the effect that after service the deacons had resolved to select Prof. —— of New Haven to fill the present vacancy in their pulpit, no other candidate having given satisfaction. I had just finished reading when the door opened and Chi- cago came in. He had a cane with him and wore heavy boots. Our meeting was very brief: I think it was all over in five minutes. 1 was clearing up the debris and sponging up the blood when some one tapped me on the shoulder. 1 knew it was Boston before I turned around. He had no cane, but I have always remarked that next to a prize-fighter an ex-oarsman is the most dangerous man to tackle in the world. I was able to go about in a week, and at present I am busy negotiating the sale of a large lot of assorted sermons, pray- ers and addresses suitable for all occasions to the first cash customer.” CONCERNING CONGRATULATORY KISSES. T is to be hoped that the gentleman writing for the St. Louis Post Dispatch is correctly informed when he says: “1 understand that the young ladies are contemplating the for- mation of an Anti-Congratulatory Kissing Society, for the purpose of putting down the barbarous practice of kissing brides immediately after the marriage ceremony. “The usual rule is ‘for every male relative and connection to the most distant degree, and every woman present at the wedding, to form in line and mouth the poor bride until the last one has claimed the privilege and has been satisfied. “Itis enough to deprive the occasion of all of its charms for a sweet young thing to stand and look around on an assem- blage of several hundred people, and know that she has got to press her lips on every mouth in it, attractive or otherwise. The big mouth, the little mouth, the thin lips, thick lips, chap- ped lips, big lips, wet lips, and every other variety of lips, must come in for a share of her attention before she can call her mouth her own, and can devote it exclusively to the one person she cares to kiss. “ The Society will shut down on all kissing at public recep- tions, and will countenance only private salutations from the members of the two families.” Let the good work go on and the Society change itself to a chaptered Fraternity represented in every town in the Union. BOOKS NOT RECEIVED. TAGE STRUCK, or Adventures on Broadway, by A. Walker, N. Y., 1884. AN APPEAL TO SEIZERS, or How the Continent was Allached, By one of the Peelers. Tur Democrat AT THE Free Luncu Taste, by A. Heeler, N.Y. Toomany Hauls & Co. ‘Twenty YEARS IN BONDAGE, A manual of utility for young Congressmen, by J.G Blaine. Maine, 1884. Lo, THE ANCHORING HEno Comes, A poem, by W. W. Phelps, Poet Laureate of New Jersey. “CALLED BACK.”